Young Writers Society

Author's Note: This story is the result of a challenge by @alliyah (issued here:  alliyah • Young Writers Society) to use a character that @GengarIsBestBoy created for @Elinor in the Worst Gift Exchange. Therefore, it is extremely cringy xD Hopefully it makes you laugh, though. ^^

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Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters was furious.

Now, you didn't usually want to get on the bad side of Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters, because of the Esteemed Princess's 60 quadrillion ounces of awesome power and loyal animal sidekicks and army of boyzzz who would gladly take revenge for her. But clearly, whoever had stolen her secret stash of onions and raisins hadn't realized that.

The air around Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters crackled with frost as she glared at the empty spot in her gigantic closet where her snacks usually were. Snowflakes appeared out of nowhere and swirled around the Princess, making her look even more gorgeous than normal. She flipped her fairy dust hair.

"Now, who could have committed this heinous crime?" Despite her barely-contained rage, her voice was sweeter than the melody of a thousand crystal-clear bells. Which was expected of an ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS being like she was. "Perhaps I shall ask my mother, Elsa."

Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters flapped her beautiful butterfly wings once, then launched herself out the window of her bedroom, which was actually an entire floor of the castle that was reserved entirely for her. Because of course she deserved her own castle. It was called the Palace of Perfection and Beloved Home of the Amazing Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters. Anyways, she twirled in the air and managed to execute a double backflip too. The weather was cloudy, which lifted the Princess's spirits, despite her current totally-justified rage at the devious theft which had taken place.

The Honorable, Perfect, Paragon of Goodness, Faultless Princess landed gracefully in the midst of the Enchanted Forest, mere paces away from her mother. She curtseyed and every animal within fifty feet of her fainted from pure joy to see such an elegant being. "Greetings, mother." Then every living thing within a hundred feet of her revived because of her voice, which was more captivating than sunbeams through clouds and more invigorating than a mountain spring.

Elsa nodded gracefully (but not as gracefully as Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters. Because the Way-Better-Than-Sliced-Bread Princess is the protagonist. Obviously.). "'Sup?"

"Mother, I told you to stop using such vulgar slang." Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters sighed. She hoped it was simply a phase that her dear mother was going through. Elsa had recently stumbled across a strange rectangular device in the forest and was now "texting" people from some other dimension, or something of that sort. It was all very odd.

"I am here because someone has stolen my precious onion and raisin delicacies." Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters pouted adorably.

"Slay." Elsa looked up from the screen in front of her. "I mean, what? I'm so sorry, dear."

"Yes, I know you are. Everyone should empathize with me." This was really not a selfish thing for the Precious Princess to say, because of course, when she was happy, the whole world was happy. Conversely, if she was sad, the whole world was sad. So, it was in everyone's best interests to keep the Peaceful Princess happy. Preferably by playing music made after the 2010s or playing something from Disney Star Wars. Not that she knew what those were by name– she only knew that this dimensional magic was good on occasion, and that the music her mother played from her device was excellent.

Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters batted her eyelashes, and boyzzz halfway across the continent swooned. "Do you have any idea whom the culprit could have been?" (Some of you grammar-attuned folks may be complaining about how that was the improper usage of "whom." But you have forgotten one essential fact: whatever the Pretty Princess says is correct. Once again: Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters is always correct. ALWAYS.)

"Nah, dude." Elsa swiped at something on the glowing rectangle. "Brb. I gotta try this new filter."

And then Elsa wandered away through the trees.

The Passionate Princess sighed and accidentally killed the trees in front of her. "Oh, that was unfortunate." Then she sprinkled some of the fairy dust from her hair on them and they came back to life, better than new.

"Perhaps I'll find more clues back in the castle." Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters took to the skies again and returned to her castle, which was a marvel of magic and architecture. Every other modern palace was trying to imitate its precarious towers and waterfalls and flowers that floated in midair.

Back in her bedroom, the Positive Princess entered her enormous closet again. She looked at the empty spot. Then she looked a few inches to the right. "Oh? What do we have here?"

She pulled out a crate of onions and raisins from underneath a discarded dress. "Aha! The thief must have realized their error and quickly returned the edibles!"

Then the princess's beautiful face creased in a frown. She'd just remembered something… When she'd been leaving the closet after choosing a dress for the latest ball, her fox tail had brushed against something. Could that have been the crate? Had she been the one to move her secret snack stash with the power of her super-strong tail?

Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters grasped an onion and munched elegantly on it as she thought. "Fascinating. Perhaps I do slip up on accident sometimes. Then that means…" She gasped. "Am I not flawless?"

The Poised, Playful, Pleasant, Philanthropic, Polished, Popular Princess quickly smiled again. "Absolutely not. My occasional mishaps only make me more relatable, do they not? Yes. I won't listen to those HATERZZZ!!11,1"

And then Elsa got 10k followers on Instagram, Princess Ashhgleigh Reighven Shadow Dark'ness Winters ate the rest of the crate of onions and raisins and got 100,000,000,000k followers on Instagram and became the ruler of the universe, and everyone lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER. *sparkles* *confetti* *cute dancing puppies*

THE END