Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Bad boys are kind of Azaireyah Calhoun's thing. Rough, tough, hardcore, drug-dealing, prison-time bad boys. She wants to help them change. Time and time again she is disappointed. The final straw is when her boyfriend tries to get her convicted when he goes to jail. She can't take it anymore. Weary from failed relationships, Azaireyah ends up dragged along to her best friend's church. Life seems to make a miraculous 180. Maybe it's the church, but maybe it's the boy she meets at church. The pastor's son, Saturniano 'Santos' McDaniel, might just change her perspective of things. However, her relationships so far have been built on materialistic things. Giving up that life style is harder than Azaireyah suspected. Now she's faced with a choice: a whole new life with Santos or a life filled with fancy jewelry and jail-time boyfriends. She isn't the only one with a choice though. Santos has to make one too: his father's approval or the girl that he needs.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Hi, Soulfulwriter. Thanks for sharing this summary with us! I'll give you my thoughts on it as a 25 year old. If this is intended for younger readers, their thoughts on the subject matter will definitely be different, so keep that in mind.
From my perspective, not a lot about this seems new. Girls like bad guys and want to change them because they've been taught their lot in life is nurturing and that they don't deserve respect or kindness. That happens a lot. Church and the people in a church community can help change a person's perspective. That happens a lot. People get stuck in choices between old life and new life, good life and bad life. That happens a lot. On the surface, I'm almost uninterested.
Except...
You describe small things in this summary that make me think you have the power to explore character in a way that will make it real. For example, how would it feel to not understand if it was the church community or a particular person at the church that was really saving you and turning life in a new direction? An exploration of Azaireyah's thoughts during that time, done carefully and truthfully, would be very engaging, I think. The idea that it's hard for her to give up her materialistic lifestyle, too, would be really interesting to read about if it were not just glossed over. We might think we understand it: anyone who likes material objects is shallow. But the truth is, you get into a certain lifestyle, and don't want to go back, probably based on experiences from her childhood. I know I used to buy only clothes that were cheapest on clearance, regardless of whether they fit me or not. I recently changed that habit, and know I could save money if I went back, but don't want to. Does that make me a bad person? These kinds of thoughts would make for an interesting narrative.
In short, focusing on the character's emotions and responses -- genuinely and realistically -- to these situations would turn an overdone summary into an engaging narrative, and I wish you the best of luck!
Let me know if you have any questions or comments about this review.
Thanks,
Hannah
I am not sure if I read it all. I am really tired. But, all of that you just said, is exactly what I want the reader to think. And I will be sure to ensure it's for an older crowd.
Hey soulfulwriter,
I liked this line. It really shows (at least to me) how Azaireyah worked hard and put effort into something only to see it fail. It also kind of makes it easier to relate since everyone goes through a struggle as such as this at least once in their life.Myjaspercat here to drop a review.
So for a summary I really like it. It actually makes me interested in reading the rest of the story. Since this isn't really a chapter or what not (or at least I am going to assume that) I won't go into to much depth with this review. More of nitpicks and grammar suggestions.
1.)
2.) If I was Azaireyah I think I also would have been done with it all about this point. So good job making it kind of relate-able.
3.) Oh romance... That's going to be cute to see how it plays out with a church going boy and a girl normally attracted to the opposite.
4.) Ooh he's the pastor's son, even more interesting.
Alright so I think that covers all my little nitpicks. They're all minor so don't worry to much. Again, I think that this was quite interesting and I am looking forward to the full story. Good luck and continue writing ---Myjaspercat
thank you dearly.