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by SnowGhost, Hijinks, Que, RubyRed, soundofmind



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33 Reviews

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Tue Jul 11, 2017 7:07 pm
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GinaERufo wrote a review...



First of all, this is my first review, so sorry if it is bad :)

"There's a hush of the crowd."
~For me this was a little awkward, and sort of disturbed the flow of the rest of the poem.

"Steady your heart now,
Now it's your part."
~This also felt a little awkward, but that could just be my preference and not actually your fault at all, but I would just read it through a couple of times to review the flow.

Other than those few small bumps in the flow of the poem, I thought it was very good and engaging, which is unusual because I don't normally enjoy poetry. Overall, keep writing, I think you'll go far :)




SnowGhost says...


Congrats on your first review and thanks



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63 Reviews

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Tue Jul 11, 2017 3:26 am
Werthan wrote a review...



At first I thought this was dedicated to those people. It's cool how you got that many people to work together, as anyone who's ever tried to form any kind of musical group should know. I can't really complain that you didn't do better since this poetry ensemble is sort of new. I'm not sure why you're looking into the light or telling people to hurry, but the fact that this all goes together as if it were a poem written by one person is very impressive. I'd add a couplet about an encore, since it doesn't feel complete. You can count that as an encore if you want.




SnowGhost says...


Thank you so much for your review



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455 Reviews

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Sun Jul 09, 2017 10:26 pm
Hijinks says...



Yay!




SnowGhost says...


Yay!



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44 Reviews

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Sun Jul 09, 2017 7:56 pm
midnightdreary says...



Aw man I just had a cello recital like half an hour ago and this is honestly exactly how I felt. This is honestly such a great and uplifting poem.




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69 Reviews

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Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:31 pm
gxldencrxwns wrote a review...



Hello everyone involved in this! Gxldencrxwns here for a review.

Overall, this piece was nice. The idea of multiple people coming together to write one poem intrigues me, I might join that club your guys in after this. Keep it up! I don't really know if you published this looking for reviews, but I'd love to see more from your club.

However, I did notice one mistakes in this poem. Allow me to point it out

"Steady your heart now,
Now it's your part."

This sort of stands out from the rest of the piece, but not really in the best way. All the other lines in this poems rhymes, while this one doesn't. The flow gets cut off here, and I'd suggest changing the last line of this part to keep the rhythm going. When I'm writing poetry that rhymes, I look up words that rhyme, so I'd suggest doing that as well.

Keep it up, you guys!
~gxldencrxwns




SnowGhost says...


Yay! your here. I didn't think you would make it.



SnowGhost says...


The mistake you mentioned was my fault but I fixed it



gxldencrxwns says...


Oh, okay, that's fine



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176 Reviews

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Sat Jul 08, 2017 12:46 pm
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sheysse wrote a review...



Hey there, um, everyone involved! Shey here for a review!

This piece has piqued my interest in the club where you create these, so I'll probably check it out after I finish up this review. :)

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. The idea that multiple people came together to create it is intriguing. Now, I don't think you're really looking for reviews on this type of work, since it is what it is, but I expect you will publish more like it. Thus, I'll just give some comments on formatting, since my biggest complaint was that this piece was kind of difficult to follow. Note that everything I'm gonna suggest is more of technical formatting, and not routinely necessary.

First, I'd start by emboldening the names, so that you can more easily distinguish the names from the lines. Either that, or you could embolden the lines, so they're more distinguishable. The choice is yours.

If you want to get more complicated, you can color each name individually, so they're distinguishable from each other. This source, http://htmlcolorcodes.com/tutorials/html-text-color/, explains simply how to do so. (I don't think my explanation would make sense at all. XD)

You should consider putting a break between the foreword with the link, and the piece, because it threw me off.

You could also add quotes to each phrase, since technically someone said it, but I personally wouldn't, because it loses something.

I didn't comment on the content of the piece because of the process under which it was written, but I really loved it. A lot. Keep up the great work, everyone involved, and I look forward to seeing more!

~Shey~





To have more, you have to become more. Don't wish it was easier - wish you were better. For things to change, you have to change, and for things to get better, you have to get better.
— Jim Rohn