Hey! Happy Review Day and happy experimenting with new writing formats! C:
Seriously, experimenting writing new and different things is what grows us as writers! Even if you decide you don't like writing prose, and go back to mostly writing poetry, you'll still have learnt a TON by trying out prose. I write poetry for this reason; it helps my prose immensely. And it's also fun.
I really liked your main character! At first I thought he was kinda- run of the mill, fancy prince-charming type, BUT the dude is a serious gentleman and he's got some spark about him that makes me want to read on. And that is REALLY good because I personally believe that it's the characters that make a story, not the plot or whatever.
and proceeded to detach the shaft from the arrowhead so I could pull it out.
Fun fact about me: I'm a HUGE first aid nerd. So sometimes I like to go on tangents in reviews about first aid- this might be one; fair warning.

I proceeded to softly shake her.
I feel like if she didn't wake up to him pulling an arrow out of her (something that's lodged in a place that's not supposed to have things lodged, coming out, is going to be one; hard to pull out, and two; incredibly painful. So if she doesn't wake up to that, she's not going to wake up to him softly shaking her! I don't think so anyways. c:
I thought she would be more comfortable my walking alongside the horse instead of being up there with her.
SUCH a gentleman. Seriously. You never ever hear in stories how the guy simple walks instead of hopping on the horse two! So I really really like this! I think it really shows us a glimpse into what kind of character hey really is- and I love it!
interrupted by a series of cruel sounding coughs.
Now I really want to know what a cruel cough sounds like! O: It's an interesting idea, but it's something that I don't thiiiiiink a lot of people would be able to pull from their mind what that might sound like, so I don't know. Just thought I'd mention that in case you weren't aware that people might not really know what that would sound like.
Anyways, overall I'm very intrigued by this story! Keep it up! I'd like to see more stories by you around!
-Holysocks
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Reviews: 494
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