Detention
A Play in One Act
CAST OF CHARACTERS
BRADLEY
A six year old boy.
GARY
A six and a half year old boy.
ADDIE
A ten year old girl with braces, glasses, and someone who generally looks very geeky. She may be considered to be someone sweet, but there is something mischievous and cunning in her face as well.
SUPERVISOR
A hawkish fat woman with a leering face.
SETTING: Detention at lunch. It’s a table
separated from the rest of the tables, guarded by the SUPERVISOR.
AT RISE: Noisy chatter surrounds the table from a bunch of happy children. The main focus is a small lonely table where BRADLEY and GARY sit. It has a big sign on it that says “detention.” The boys are quiet, sizing each other up.
BRADLEY
What’s your name?
GARY
Gary. What’s yours?
BRADLEY
Bradley.
GARY
That’s a stupid name.
BRADLEY
Is not.
GARY
Is too. I know a girl with that name.
BRADLEY
No you don’t.
GARY
Yes I do. She’s stupid too.
BRADLEY
Not as stupid as you.
GARY
Shut up.
(A pause of silence. Both boys look at each other with more interest.)
BRADLEY
How old are you?
GARY
Older than you.
BRADLEY
Nuh uh
GARY
Uh huh. I bet I’m ten times older.
BRADLEY
Well, I’m six!
GARY
(Smugly)
Six and a half!
BRADLEY
That means you die sooner.
GARY
What?
BRADLEY
Since you’re older, you’ll die first.
GARY
Nuh uh.
BRADLEY
Uh huh.
GARY
Aw, shut up.
(ADDIE enters in the scene, sitting next to GARY, and the boys quiet. They recognize her as a fifth grader.)
BRADLEY
What’s your name?
ADDIE
Shh! They might hear!
(Glances furtively at SUPERVISOR before leaning closer to the boys. She adjusts her glasses and stares.)
So what are you prisoners in for? No, wait. Let me guess. You (points to BRADLEY) put a tack on the teacher’s chair because she gave you an F for your spelling test. And you (points to GARY) put gum in what’s-her-face’s hair. Am I right?
GARY
Uh… I stood on a chair.
BRADLEY
I dunno what I did.
ADDIE
(Snorts)
You’re just a bunch of first graders, aren’t you? Just my luck! No imagination at all. Why, when I was in first grade, I threw an apple at my teacher for calling me a sweetheart.
BRADLEY
Whoa.
GARY
Awesome.
ADDIE
(Glances back at SUPERVISOR and leans closer to the boys.)
Have you planned an escape route yet?
GARY
Escape route?
BRADLEY
But lunch is almost over.
ADDIE
(Snorts.)
Oh, you first graders! This is your first time here, isn’t it? They haven’t started the torture yet, have they?
GARY
What!
BRADLEY
What torture?
ADDIE
(Impatiently)
The torture. Oh, you first graders! Poor little guys, nobody ever tells you this stuff. But don’t worry, I will. After lunch, they tear off all your clothes and then beat you with broomsticks. Because the teachers are witches. And then, after that, they put you in a closet full of spiders so you can rot. And then they throw you in their stew!
BRADLEY
(Nervously)
Spiders?
GARY
That’s not real.
ADDIE
Oh? How do you know?
GARY
It’s just stupid.
ADDIE
(Sticks her tongue out.)
Just because it’s stupid doesn’t mean it’s false. Besides, the witches need the stew. They feed their black cats with it. It gives the cats magical powers so the witches can fly with those brooms. Everybody knows that.
BRADLEY
Really? (Pause) I knew it!
GARY
(Turns to BRADLEY.)
No, butthead, she’s lying to us again.
BRADLEY
Oh.
GARY
(Turns back to ADDIE.)
I’ve seen you in detention before and you’re not tortured.
ADDIE
(Smugly)
That’s because I escaped. The rest weren’t so lucky. Look! Don’t believe me? Check this out. They gave me this scar.
(Brings out arm and shows them a mark that looks like an old mosquito bite.)
BRADLEY AND GARY
Ooooooooh…
ADDIE
Exactly. Nasty things they are, those teachers. But we have to have an escape plan or none of us will get out alive.
BRADLEY
But what can we do?
ADDIE
Let me think for a second.
GARY
Well, think fast!
ADDIE
Don’t rush me!
(Thinks a little bit.)
I have an idea! We need a distraction. Now, I can’t do that since they suspect me to do something, but you can do it easily. After all, nobody suspects two first graders to do anything special.
BRADLEY
So what should we do?
ADDIE
I dunno. You figure that out. But you do something, and then run out with me.
(Glances furtively at SUPERVISOR.)
Ready on three. One…
GARY
Wait, what are we supposed to do again?
ADDIE
Use your brain. Kill each other. Whatever. Two…
BRADLEY
But what about the spiders?
ADDIE
(Gives BRADLEY a nasty look.)
Three!
(BRADLEY and GARY look at each other and, very slowly, start batting each other, not so that it hurts, but so that it looks like it might possibly become a fight.)
SUPERVISOR
Hey, you two! Stop it!
(The SUPERVISOR walks over to the boys. Just as the SUPERVISOR comes over, ADDIE bolts out and runs away, rushing out of the school.)
ADDIE
Freedom! Freedom!
SUPERVISOR
Hey! Wait!
(The SUPERVISOR is about to run away after ADDIE, but then stops, looking at the two boys skeptically.)
She set you up, didn’t she?
(The two boys say nothing. The SUPERVISOR sighs.)
Oh well. Eat lunch. It’s almost class time again.
BRADLEY
(Nervously to GARY.)
When do you think the cats eat us?
GARY
They don’t eat us. She was just lying.
BRADLEY
But…
GARY
Shh!
SUPERVISOR
(To herself, looking over at the open door and shaking her head)
That Addie… always getting in trouble.
BRADLEY
(Mishears the SUPERVISOR)
Did she say that girl’s name was Bradley?
GARY
(Smirks)
I told you I knew a girl named Bradley.
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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
This is fun and cute! I loved it! I think a really great thing about this is that it's so believable! And you can really picture people acting the parts! The dialogue is great and the characters are all developed wonderfully. I would like to act in this! Awesome!
~time8keeper
That was great! It was definitely very realistic and Addie's character reminds me of... well, me, sometimes.
Hey, I really like this! I think its really cute and you should keep on writing scripts because its really entertaining to read. I don't think I could have any negative feedback, other than to expand your script, because its a little short, it probably only lasts 5 minutes to the very most. But great job, !
Haha! That was a neat piece. The talking was very believable as to what they'd say. Addie seems like a big trouble maker to me! xD
The ending was funny. Poor Bradley!
Hah. That was adorable. My favorite person is Addie, she reminds me of my little cousin Hailee, who is always trying to scare my littler cousin. Hah, I think I've read your work before. It's cute. Well, glad to read this!
--Jessie,
That's just the cutest play in the world! I loved it! Great job, Snoik.
That was pretty funny!
I always love your plays Snoink, they're hilarious!
But I thought the supervisor was a man? In the script you said it was a woman....or did I just read something wrong again?
Keep up the awesome work
-Irish
I liked it because it seemed quite real. I mean, you always have a person that distracts so the others can run away
.
. She seemed nicer than normal. And another thing. A geeky person in trouble? Doesn't sound good. Tut tut tut Addie!
SomethinG I don't get; the teachers didn't even run after Addie
---Luciano
Haha, win. Wish my elementary school experience was that amusing =P
Oddly, I've had a similar idea to this, 'cept that instead it involved about twelve people, a dead creative writing teacher, and a locked community college building.
Oh this was so cute and really funny! It had a great concept. I loved it a lot! Awesome job Snoink! I loved the characters, especially Addie. The whole thing was very amusing.
Peace, Love and Sugar Packets~
Forever Threnody
Haha that was so cute. Addie reminds me of this girl I knew in kindergarden haha. I loved the ending. It made me laugh.
I thought this was well good quite funny but maybe have Addie as more of a Bad girl black hair ruined school uniform. lose tie always gum chewing, something like that, it would seam more like the kind of person who would be always getting into trouble, still very funny.
Snoink, you are a very experianced writer. At least, very ahead of me, but just keep up the work. You're doing great with the characters, personnalities, and matching the perfect details to your chosen plot. Keep it up!
I live in England so my school life's not as exciting as American High Schools but I have to say I absolutely love this. If you don't mind I would like to use part of it in a lesson, but I would like to ask your permission first (I do a Performing Arts course) so if i could borrow it and change the names and make it more 'British' (is that the right word?) I would love to use this. My teacher likes ordinary scripts like this, not fantasy or horror, so this would be perfect. PM me please with your answer, or alternatively just answer it in this form.
*lilmisswritergal* also known as Galinda the Good
Awe... I'm late, I guess. Not too late, right? That was so cute I had to read it twice. The end made me giggle. ^_^
-kittykat
the best part i think was the ending. especially the last two lines. good stuff. i agree with some previous replies though, addy says certain words that i never used.
overall though, a really fun read
Aside from "aw, shutup" (I don't think a kid would bother to say "aw" before shutup) nice language for the first graders.The situation is of course too short though; they meet and 2 minutes later lunch is over? Sweet, but I would have had the end joke be that Addie was telling the truth, Addie and Bradley don't sound enough alike for an audience to get it until a few seconds have past and by tha time it will have died.
Nice one! I loved Addie. It was very funny
That was cute! I didn't like the 'What's your name?' questions. I would think they would know each other
Aw! Thank ye very much!
I used that line too... fun stuff.
I started reading this, got to this line:
... and literally LOL'd. I used this line in first grade on a girl I absolutely hated in first grade.
Thanks for giving me memories from the past. Oh yeah, and the script was a great read.
LOVED IT.
that was so clever, I loved your idea of using the young and innocent. a classic!
good job,
Lexy
xxxx
That was very funny! Just like me when I got my first detention!
RR*
I laughed my head off reading that!
Well not literally cos' how would I be able to write this...
Anyway! great characterisation
good plot and nice language
I suppose you could fix some of the dialogue and that but it was still really great!!
Charlotte
Addie- The word FALSE. the sentence; Nasty things they are, those teachers.
And with the boys, words like supposed, few will get words like that right when pronouncing them. it comes out more like spah'sposed. or instead havfta. Also for bradley: When do you think the cats eat us? >Such a properly thoughtout and executed sentence! Being nervous of the cats, he would probably mutter something less eloquant.
Just my thoughts. Basically, it appears that all three have the same language skills, just that addie has longer monologues.
Yay! Thanks for reading!
When?
Hey Snoink,
This is pretty cool. In episode 5 of The Adventures of PuppetBoy, there is a scene somewhat similar to this one.
I love your abilty to visualize the situation. I thought some of the words used by each of the three characters, at times, were unfitting.
However, I really enjoyed reading this.
-Slick
Nice one Snoink! Addie is great!
XD
All together like this, it's fantastic. I love the ending too. Bradley. Haha.
XD
This was fun to read.
Yeah, this is the play I wrote for class. ^_^
Thanks for the comments!
Cute indeed! Believable characters/dialogue as well.
I just read your post about play writing, so I'm wondering if this is what you ended up with for your class?
Very cute, Snoink! I really like your characters.
Addie sounds a little like a kid I know...