This is a retelling of the poem 'Annabel Lee' that I did for school. It is told in Annabel's POV.
We were but children when we first saw each other.
Him,
and I,
Never wanting more then a gentle smile,
something to tell each other softly,
that we loved each other.
We grew older,
Our souls intertwined.
But slowly,
slowly,
the angels of the realm above began to notice us.
They looked upon us.
They looked upon our happiness,
and envied us.
Oh, how they envied us.
And as I set to giving my prayers each night,
I heard the whispers.
As I went to give my prayers each night, I felt sick.
The angels whispered in my ear,
that I
and him
were to be separated.
And separated we were,
My kin, noticing my chills and yells each night,
they took me away.
Away from my ocean kingdom,
And away
from him.
As I was dragged away from him,
yelling and screaming my defiance,
I grew sicker,
and sicker,
and sicker.
I lost the will to live.
I let the chilling winds overtake me,
and as I felt my last breath move through my body, I whispered.
"I love you..."
ever so softly.
And even now, as I look upon from above,
my casement,
I smile.
I smile,
knowing that I am finally free.
As I look upon him,
resting beside me,
I am content.
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Happy Review Day! I finally decided to check out some of your poetry.
One of the things that I noticed is that you frequently use commas in this piece. This may just be a personal style type thing, but frequently using commas is repetitive, and paying attention to repetition is important.
This line needs to be slightly reworded. The wording on this is awkward at the "set to giving" part. Those are two different tenses in one sentence trying to be put together. Maybe "give," rather than "giving," or just reword the whole sentence, or maybe "set upon giving" instead.
The wording on this one is totally fine, but it's the repetition.
This has some repetition as well. Watch out for that!
I found the ending to be nice for this poem. She is dead with her lover and that is what matters, that she is truly free and happy. I had a few nitpicks, but you did well!
✖︎
I don't know whether you will agree with me or not, But I personally believe, there isn't much dimensions to offer in romanticism. Though I believe this emotion is above all, but when it's come to literature, either it's painfull or it's an happy ending.
But that doesn't necesarily means that your interpretation of Annabel lee from the POV is not praiseworthy. Edgar Allen poe, Percy Bysshe Shelley, John keats, ben Jonson, Kipling, Wordsworth, Walter scott, etc etc etc etc... all are my favorite poets, and Annabel lee is one of my favourite. And the POV you presented is beautiful, commendable.
The poem does not expect me to think much, it just let me go with the flow and that's eaiser to feel. keep up the good work
I don't know whether you will agree with me or not, But I personally believe, there isn't much dimensions to offer in romanticism. Though I believe this emotion is above all, but when it's come to literature, either it's painfull or it's an happy ending.
But that doesn't necesarily means that your interpretation of Annabel lee from the POV is not praiseworthy. Edgar Allen poe, Percy Bysshe Shelley, John keats, ben Jonson, Kipling, Wordsworth, Walter scott, etc etc etc etc... all are my favorite poets, and Annabel lee is one of my favourite. And the POV you presented is beautiful, commendable.
The poem does not expect me to think much, it just let me go with the flow and that's eaiser to feel. keep up the good work
hello just going to do a small review. First off i like the title of the poem it's pretty simple and it also sets up the story nicely. I honestly didn't expect to be a poem about love. I like the way you worded the poem. Didn't really see any spelling mistakes but I thought the lines with that only had a single word in it was kind of weird but it's not really a big deal. I honestly like the ending. there's so many love story's and poems out there but I just like the way you made this one end. I don't really have any proms with this poem so nice job. Keep writing
I really like this, Zhia!
I've been trying, WAITING, for somebody to do a poem pertaining to one of Edgar Allan Poe's works! (He's my most favorite writer, mostly because of his gory, yet amazing, poems.)
I, unlike a few others, thought you did a wonderful job interpreting Annabel Lee's POV, although, I haven't read the book yet, our English 2 teacher said we might be reading it next semester, so this is something I'll definitely have to look back on, if we do end up reading it.
I feel like there could have been a few less commas, though. They're not that bad, but it is slightly off-putting while reading, with all the pauses. (When I'm reading something, and there's a comma in it, I automatically just pause, then continue. I'm weird, sorry. xD)
You don't have to take out any commas, though. It's just a suggestion. Either way, the poem is great.
Good job, Zhia!
~Shiny
Definitely an interesting perspective on Annabel Lee. Never would have thought to consider her point of view. I do have a few critiques about the form (structure) of it. If I remember correctly, the structure of Annabel Lee was a bit more comprehensive than what you have here, but then again it was a bit repetitive at points. I kinda wanted to know a bit more about this character after what you wrote. Is there no way to add to it a bit? What else could have been going through her mind during this whole time? Did she hear what her family was saying about her and how did she respond? I'm curious to see what else you write up. What poem will you conquer next? I like the style that you have.
Wow this was really amazing. I love your imagery and word choice. Everything seemed to flow very magically in my opinion. I didn't notice any errors at all and I wouldn't suggest any changes I loved it the way it was. I would love to read your "Annabelle Lee" one day. I bet it's as good as this. I loved their love story, it was beautiful and I just loved it. Sorry if I say "I loved it" too much because I can't help it. This piece was just really good.
Annabel Lee is by Edgar Allen Poe. But thanks!
It's something we read in English class.