He had hoped that his father would have come home the previous night. He waited up until three in the morning until sleep caught up to him; that was the reason he hated sleep. He now awoke suddenly from his deep sleep and checked his tattered wristwatch, seven forty. He cursed and jumped up from the chair he had slept on and picked up his green coat on the rim of it. He ran to his sisters room door and knocked loudly.
"Annie, Marla!! Get up, school!" he called. They did not respond. He busted into their room and tickled Marla--who was on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed--painfully until she gave in and laughed her protest. Then he went to work on the older one, Annie wasn't ticklish so he resulted in pinching her instead, which was how he got a foot in his face, knocking off his glasses. After regaining them he grabed a hold of her foot and pulled, almost bringing her down fro the top bunk.
"Treyson! Don't you dare!" in fear Annie screamed. Because he noticed the fear in her voice he let go of her foot, and she wiggled back into bed.
"Guys, I'm going to throw you both out of bed if you don't get up now!" he used his serious tone which he rarely ever used in fear of sounding like his father. They noticed his serious tone, and got out of bed reluctanly. He left them then, going to heat up some water for their showers and to make something for breakfast. He felt like some kind of parent. He sighed and got to work. While he set the water boiling he fried eggs and fried toast. Both at the same time. He hated back to school mornings, both for the girls and himself, it always sucked. When they came out they both started arguing on which one got to take a shower first, he told them that if neither of them did it, they wouldn't get hot water for a week. This caused more arguments until finally Marla who was seven, gave in.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
After walking Marla and Annie who was ten to their elementary school, Treyson walked on to the highschool which he despised. Everybody there only thought about themselves, they only thought about who to push down to bring themselves up. He tucked in his glasses, and tried not to look at the dirt paved floor. His sandles always got in the way of his view of the grain and sand, and his sandles were not a sight he wanted to see. He pulled out a ciggeratte from his cargo pants pocket and his lighter in another pocket, he smoked and relased the horrific air, as most of it lingered disturbing his lungs. He could quit when he wanted to, he reminded himself when he took another puff. He had been walking the same road, and the same trail for as long as he could remember, and always the same thought came to him at one point.
"Mom," it was all he needed to say to the world. He missed his mother, he missed her strawberry shampoo, that he could always smell when she would give him a hug, and her long brown hair would lay around him. He missed her smile wide and cheerful and the same smile Marla and Annie has when they smile. And he missed how she would always tell him to be careful when he walked to school alone. He hated himself for missing her, he hated the fact that she had to be missed. And to think his father who had never spent any time with them would start to spend more time with them, but no, he distanced himself even more after his wife died. He distanced himself so much that he had not returned home from a "buissness trip" for two months now. He has never been gone that long. And just last week he sent a mail to the kids that he would be back a day before school started, but he wasn't there.
The sun was rising fast, and it was the first time Trey was consious of what he might look like. He looked down to his black shirt, and saw a few torn spots here and there, and his cargo pants, well,at least they were still pants. The fadded green pants seemed to be hanging by the thread. He needed to get a job. All through the summer Trey had been trying to find one, sadly he did not get one, and he and his sisters had to suffer a little. A lot. He threw the end of the smoke to the floor and stepped on it. He was getting closer to the school now. Trey stopped for a moment, knowing that since his father wasn't here he did not have to go to school. In fact, at any time in his life after his mom died if he did not want to school he sure did not have to.
So he stood, contemplating whether he should enter or not. He glanced at his watch, eight fifteen, school starts eight. He was already late. He figured he might as well go inside since he came all this way. Plus there was nothing else he could do, if he tried to play rookie an adult would find him walking around and ask him questions. He walked slowly though, and with ease toward the large building. Here he goes, the first day of school as a senior. He couldn't walk slow enough. Too many memories made him want to run, but the thought of running made him want to stay. He finally arrived at the doors of the school and went inside.
He found his room and entered in, Mr. Williams was his homeroom and English teacher. When he entered inside no one looked at him, most of the people there he knew; infact, all of the people he knew, except--
"As I was saying we have a new student to our school, Mickey Bryans? Anyways please stand up," and then she stood. Everyone was looking at her. Treyson caught her eyes first, they were hazel, the most beautiful mixture of brown and green he had ever seen in his life. He tried his best not to stare. It looked like she was about to sit when she said,
"Actually my last name is Simon, I'm Mickey Simon," she said it with pursed lips and an angered voice. He found that there was an empty seat next to her, and he took it. He wasn't really surprised that no one noticed him, or that no one seemed to care, he was surprised that there was a new student though, there hasn't been a new student in his class since, since, he started highschool. To be honest though, he told himself, he did not want to know anything about her.
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Yo! Stella again!
the "of the bunk bed" seems redundant
this seems a really weird point to state Annie's age...
sandals
Alright so, I'm liking Treyson as a character! If there's one thing you do very well, it's getting the characters' situations across to us without infodumping, and congratulations on that. I also like their encounter at the end of the chapter. I have a problem with him calling her eyes the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen and then deciding he wants nothing to do with her. I mean, what a contradiction! So choose one or the other- I would say the latter because it seems more in keeping with everything.
As well, I always get a bit confused about situations like Treyson's where their parents have abandoned them. And no one's called social services, there aren't even any concerned neighbours? How is Treyson paying the gas and electric and whatever other bills without a job? Their father must have some hand in it, I find it hard to believe he's vanished for two months and they've just been waiting that whole time. Also that Treyson wasn't able to get a job in the summer- they're in the Bahamas, right? Surely there must be a lot of tourist and hospitality positions!- and yet expects to get one during schooltime when his hours will be curtailed. So these are little issues I think you need to think about in order for things to be more realistic.
But overall, I enjoyed this. I liked the snap to a new perspective, I liked Treyson's introduction and his sisters and how you tied it in with Mickey. Lovely job!
Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!
-Stella x