Taking my hands in her webbed palms, she asked me to close her eyes. Before my sight plunged into darkness, I saw her being surrounded by a glowing indigo light, flowing from her to me. Slowly as I got back my sight, I was quite shocked to see what lay in front of my eyes.
It was as if I was looking straight into some fantasy book. Everywhere it was lightish blue and peacock green hues and there lay a vast kingdom in front of my eyes. The building tops and the castle turrets were glowing with a lilac light. Soon the scene in front of my eyes changed. I found myself looking inside the huge main hall of the castle. It was decorated with paintings all over its dome like ceilings. The paintings probably talked of the legacy of these mysterious creatures and their greatness since the ages.
However upon a closer look, I found out that the paintings were not really of sirens but of otherworldly beautiful creatures who had glowing pearl white skin , flowing black hair, sparkling eyes that spoke volumes and multicoloured tails with beautiful fin and scale patterns. These creatures were quite a contrast to the siren I met. I was confused. Who were they? She told me that she is going to tell the story of her people , but they were not really her people were they?
These thoughts were soon swept off when I looked at the massive glowing chandelier hanging from the roof. It sparkled with the brilliancy of thousands of diamonds. The sights were hypnotising.
Again, the scene shifted in front of my eyes as if it were a theatre play. The once mesmerising courtroom was now in shambles, dark and dreary. The dreamy chandelier was lying broken and shattered across the room. The paintings had several scratches on them. I could see two ladies in front of me. A young beautiful girl who had the same glowing skin and black hair like in the paintings. The only difference from the painting was that her hair was not flowy or shining. It was a mess.Her eyes were not shining anymore. It spoke of horror,anguish and regret. There was a tiara glistening on the ground right in front of her feet. Another older but beautiful woman was standing in front of her with a horrible angry look on her face.
She spoke, " So here I curse you and your kind and your entire race. You will live your entire life with dread and misery. So proud you are of your voice are you not , little queen? This voice will be your nemesis. You will sing beautiful songs but at the cost of human lives. Whenever you shall sing, it will take away lives. You all will be hideous to look at. But don't be fooled that people will not be attracted to you because of your looks. They will come running listening to your songs and they will perish forever. They will curse you. You will curse yourselves. But you will not be free from this burden. All your future generations too will suffer the same fate. I will make you hate your magical existence, the same way you made me hate mine for I did not fit in with you all. I will make you wish that you could not sing in the same way you made me wish that I could sing. I will make you wish for death as no one will love you and be your friends like you did for me. This is Thalia's curse on you, O queen. "
The addressed queen looked with widened horrified eyes as her skin started turning green from pearl white and her hair changed itself into a horrid grey. Her beautiful lavender tail changed to olive green. Her smooth skin turned to rough scales and her palms into webbed hands. No more pretty fins adorned her arms and tails anymore.
The scenes then started moving as the whole kingdom which was once bright and magical slowly lost its shine and became dull and dreary. Seaweeds rose all around the castle walls turning the once glamorous castle into the hellhouse for the dead.
I heard a loud bang and blinking my eyes found myself face to face with the siren. I was a bit shaken seeing all that stuff. It was not everyday one comes across a siren or sees things like that. Reeling from the effect of magic and what I saw, I looked at her for some time, bewildered and tipsy , as if I was drunk.
Getting back to my senses however, I looked at her questioningly.
"Is this why you say you are cursed? "
She smiled slightly and nodded.
"This is my reality. A painful and cursed one. "
End of chapter
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140,258 Literary Works • 673,074 Reviews
Hey! Just dropping by after you left a comment on my WRFF thread. Like I said, I don't really review novels with a lot of reviews already, but I've caught up. Feel free to tag me when you post again!
-Vento
This is a very strong continuation from the last chapter. I’m very excited to be learning more about this stories world building! It’s good to finally get some answers about the Siren’s past, and I hope to find out even more swiftly!
Lot’s of question’s still remain. Which is a good thing! It’s important to keep your readers invested by giving them the satisfaction of watching a story unfold, but also to leave just as many things shrouded. I still wonder about the Siren’s relationship with her people, whether she’s breaking some sort of rule visiting the painter, what the civilization looks like now, after the curse has been set for some time. I’m also incredibly curious about Thalia!
However, I also felt that we were giving some rather confounding answers. There are one or two thing’s that I’d like clarification on- for example, why do the Siren’s still visit the surface when they know it will result in the sailors death? How come their curse spelt disaster for their civilization? As terrible as it is, why is their society so dependent on human’s hearing their singing voices? I think these are important questions to answer sooner, rather than later, because right now the Siren is hovering in a bit of a gray area, where we know she is responsible for numerous deaths. Surely, most reasonable people would choose then not to visit the surface? Or, at the very least, do so somewhere far away from land.
I think my favorite part of this chapter though was the expansion on the siren’s magic. It seems like a very interesting concept, that I look forward to seeing what you do with!
As always, your description and dialogue are very strong. I noticed that you’ve added paragraph breaks when a new character speaks, which makes things a ton clearer! I’m really excited to read the next chapter!
So with all that said, have a wonderful rest of your day!
Noooo…. poor siren. She and her people were all cursed. I know that Thalia said that their looks would be cursed, but I think that the siren is beautiful in her own way. I wonder what could have happened to make Thalia place the siren curse. It’s quite dreadful, what happened to the poor Queen. I will see what happens in the next chapter.
I hope that you will have a beautiful day/night.
Hi! I'm going to leave a short review for this chapter using the YWS S'more Method today!
Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This chapter continues from the last one, in which the siren said that she would show the artist what her siren civilization was like. In this chapter, he learns how she came to be cursed, and how she was not always a siren.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I was a little confused while reading this on how the scene "changed" and how the story was told. Was it a painting? A memory? Was the artist looking at it like a theater performance? Or were they in the scene themself? A little more description would be helpful, since this is such a rare thing that does not usually happen.
Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
As always, your writing is really detailed. I really liked the detail in your visual descriptions, and also how you wrote the mood for each scene. I also really liked how you described the woman and her hair and how sad and miserable she looked, it makes the reader relate to the character and understand the story better.
I also like the pace of the plot. It's not too fast and also not too slow, and I like that you dived right into this part of the story already.
Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, this is a really well-written chapter, I love your writing, and reading this series is always so enjoyable. I hope to read more of it in the future!
Happy Writing!