Color Photographs, Chapter Three

by Shady

Published May 27, 2015

16+ Language Violence Mature Content

In Color Photographs

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

PreviousNext

Sadie’s heart lurched into her throat as she stared down the barrel of the pistol, into the stern face of the driver. She glanced back toward where Mr. Resnick sat only to see another large man climb out of the back of the car to point a gun at her. She recognized him immediately: Karson. He was a close friend of Meyer and often frequented their house to grab a meal or drink a beer.

“Really?”

“Get in the car,” Karson said.

Sadie glanced once more at the driver, then resentfully lifted her chin and stepped nearer to the car. As she approached Mr. Resnick gestured for her to go to the other side of the car. She wet her lips and walked around the back of the car, towards Karson.

The tall blond grimaced slightly as she approached, taking the gun off her. His voice was so soft it was nearly inaudible. “I’m sorry, Sades, but I gotta search you.”

For a moment Sadie considered telling him to go jump off a bridge. She felt betrayed that someone who pretended to be her friend would turn around and wave a gun in her face. But, then, she didn’t suppose he had much choice. She knew all too well that Mr. Resnick could force people to do things they didn’t want to.

Sadie held her arms out from her sides, palms facing Karson. “Knock yourself out.”

“It would save Meyer the trouble,” he muttered under his breath. He stepped forward and gently put his hand on Sadie’s shoulder. “Turn around, please.”

“Cut it out with the nice guy act,” she said quietly as she turned around and put her hands on the back of the car. “Just do what you have to.”

“This isn’t my fault, Sadie. You have to believe me,” Karson answered, leaning close to her ear. He took her phone, being careful of his hands as he continued searching her. “I figure Meyer will probably kill me for doing this, but I know Mr. Resnick will if I don’t.”

Sadie glanced over her shoulder at his pleading face, wondering what he knew about Meyer that she didn’t. She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d seen Meyer kill anyone before. She shook the thought off. Meyer’s folder didn’t matter right now. “What’s he planning?”

“I don’t know. He was—”

“We’re waiting!” Mr. Resnick’s voice bellowed from inside.

Karson pulled the pack of cigarettes out of Sadie’s pocket, then seemed to think better of it and put them back. He gestured toward the open door. “After you.”

She glanced at him, annoyed that he planned on sandwiching her in the middle between himself and Mr. Resnick. She didn’t want to be that near to Resnick, yet she figured she wouldn’t be allowed to have a seat near the door. It would make escape too easy. She took a deep breath and climbed into the car. Mr. Resnick smiled at her as Karson blocked her only escape with his bulky body.

“Hello, Sadie, dear.”

She glared at him. “Don’t pretend like you’re doing me a favor.”

“I’m giving you a ride out of the rattiest part of town,” he said.

“You pointed a gun in my face. Again.”

“Technically Lukas pointed a gun in your face, both times.”

Sadie looked up at the driver and realized Mr. Resnick was right. He was the same man who had come to her door earlier this morning, ordering her to come with him to go to Mr. Resnick, then pointing a gun at her when she refused.

“On your orders,” she said. She’d suddenly found her courage.

“Yes, because they actually honor my orders,” Mr. Resnick said. He scooted closer to her, putting his hand on her knee as she squirmed closer to Karson. “Which you’ll learn to.”

“I’m not your employee,” she said firmly, trying to remove his hand. His grip clamped down on her leg, and his other hand moved up to her face. He leaned in closer.

“Stop it!” She hit his chest.

He rose up on his knees, leaning across her body and pulling her closer to his side of the car. He started breathing heavier as she struggled under his arms. “Ooh, feisty.”

“Married,” she corrected, trying to dodge the kiss he planted on her neck. “Stop!”

“We’re both adults,” Mr. Resnick panted, unbuttoning his suit jacket.

“Get off me!”

“Mr. Resnick,” Karson cut in, putting his hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think you should—”

“Nobody asked for your opinion.”

“Stop it!” Sadie hit him again as he started groping her chest, aware that he was much stronger than she was. “Let me out of the car!”

“Mr. Resnick—”

“Lukas, stop the car,” Mr. Resnick shouted. He pushed Karson’s door open as the car came to a sudden halt, then started wrestling Karson out of the car. “Out!”

Sadie took advantage of the distraction and squirmed free, then threw the other door open and climbed from the car. She started running as soon as her feet touched the ground, but before she could make it more than a few steps Mr. Resnick was shouting at Lukas.

A moment later a large hand clamped down on Sadie’s ponytail. She threw her elbow into Lukas’ stomach as hard as she could, then whirled around and kicked him between the legs. He grunted loudly, then lifted his gorilla fist and slammed it into her face so hard she got dizzy.

Lukas grabbed the front of her shirt and hefted her off the ground, then carried her back to the car. He shoved her into the backseat, hitting her head on the edge of the roof as he did. She crumpled in the seat holding on to her head as he slammed the door and got back into the driver’s seat.

Lukas locked the doors just as Mr. Resnick climbed in and shut the door. Karson appeared a moment later, nose bleeding, and tried to jerk the door open. Maybe he was on Sadie’s side after all. She lunged for her door again, planning to bail out as Lukas stomped down on the gas pedal.

Before she could reach the handle Mr. Resnick jumped on her again, grabbing her arms and pinning them to her sides. He grabbed her chin and examined her face in the low light. “Eh, you got yourself hit, did ya? You deserved it, little whore.”

She jerked her head away from him, glaring as best she could. Her left eye was already starting to swell closed and her head throbbed. She lifted her chin. “Meyer will kill you for this.”

“Meyer won’t hear about this,” Mr. Resnick said. He dug his fingernails into her arms. “You’ll tell him that I came along and saved you as some thugs downtown were mugging you, and that’s how you got the shiner.”

“I’m not lying to my husband.”

“You will,” Mr. Resnick said threateningly. “If you ever want to see him again.”

“He’s not scared of you.”

“But you are,” Mr. Resnick said, as he kissed her neck once more. “And that’s enough.”

Karson stood in the middle of the road, cursing as Mr. Resnick’s car sped into the darkness. He panted for several long moments, trying to figure out where the blood dripping down his chin was coming from, wondering what to do now. He couldn’t just leave Sadie alone with those monsters, but he’d been bested by Resnick. There was little he could do without backup.

I should call Meyer, he thought. He’ll probably kick my ass worse than Resnick did, but he deserves to know. Maybe he can help her. Karson pulled his cellphone out and searched through his contacts for his friend, wandering towards the sidewalk as a car turned onto the road in front of him.

He lifted the phone and listened to it ringing as he watched the black car coming down the road quickly. He rubbed at his nose as he realized it was the only thing bleeding, trying to slow the rate the blood was running down his face. Suddenly the car slid to a stop right after it passed him, and the driver threw it in reverse.

Karson hung up the phone, throwing it back in his pocket so he could pull his gun. He’d had enough trouble for one night. He’d just shoot the next jerk that wanted to give him a hard time. He looked at the car suspiciously as the passenger’s window rolled down.

“Kars?” Meyer squinted at him from the driver’s seat. “What are you doing here? Get in.”

Karson breathed a sigh of relief and hurried towards the car.

“What happened to you?” Meyer asked as Karson got in the passenger’s seat, hitting the gas once more.

“Not important. Turn around.”

“No. I’m going to get—”

“Resnick’s got your woman,” Karson interrupted.

The car slid to a stop once more and Meyer glared at his friend in the dark. “What?”

“I was with him just a few minutes ago. He saw Sadie walking and picked her up. She didn’t want to go with him so he told Lukas to wave a gun in her face until she got in.”

Meyer cursed and began turning the car around. “Then what happened? Why did you leave her alone with those two?”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Karson said firmly. “Resnick started kissing on her and she told him to knock it off but he wouldn’t. I stepped in to make him leave her alone, and he hauled me out of the car and started beating on me, then the three of them sped off.”

Meyer was muttering a string of profanities. “Where are they going?”

“Don’t know,” Karson said. “I’d guess back to your place.”

“Why would they go there?” Meyer demanded. “That don’t make sense.”

“Pretty sure he planned on threatening Sadie ‘til she’s too scared to tell you what happened,” Karson answered with a shrug. “Don’t think he planned on you knowing anything happened.”

Meyer resumed cursing. Karson sat quietly in the passenger’s seat, still trying to make his nose stop bleeding, hoping Meyer didn’t turn his anger towards him. He’d played a part in getting Sadie into that car, even if he couldn’t help her get out. He was sure Sadie would blame him, anyway. He didn’t plan on Meyer finding out about his role until she told him.

They hurried to Meyer’s apartment, and the two men rushed up the stairs. Meyer cursed once more when they found it dark and abandoned. Karson took a deep breath, hoping Sadie was okay. “Let’s give them a few minutes, eh?”

“Yeah, so he can finish off with my wife?”

Karson grimaced. “It’s better than trying to chase them down when they’re heading here.”

Meyer cursed and sat down heavily on the couch, crossing his arms and falling into a brooding silence. Karson sat down carefully on the far end of the couch, seeing the danger in his friend’s eyes. Someone was going to die. He wasn’t sure how many people were going to, or how Meyer planned to do it, but this look didn’t enter Meyer’s eyes without someone ending up dead.

Karson hadn’t seen Meyer this angry since some of Reneve’s men had broken into his house and stole nearly everything he owned. The men responsible soon found their own houses burned down and shortly after were never heard from again—Karson helped toss one down an abandoned mine chute.

“Resnick’s dead,” Meyer said after an agonizingly long pause.

“I figured,” Karson answered, wetting his lips. “What’s the plan? I want to help.”

“Shoot him in the face as soon as I see him again?”

“In front of Sadie?”

“I don’t see why n—” Meyer trailed off. “I guess that wouldn’t be good.”

“No.”

“What do you suggest, then?”

Karson thought a moment. “I’ll hide when they show up, so he doesn’t think I’ve tipped you off. Pretend like you didn’t hear anything; play whatever his game is. We can plan until they show up, then finish making a plan later. Get a fresh start on it first thing in the morning.”

Meyer was silent for several seconds, then nodded. “You say Lukas helped?”

“It was—”

A sharp rap on the door made him fall instantly silent. 

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Jul 2, 2015

Hi Shady!

I am back once again for another one of your chapters! I think this is going to be a pretty short review because I am not sure what I can tell you in this chapter that can help improve it much. It's pretty good on its own. It's missing a little magic which would make it as intriguing as your other novels, but maybe that will build into the story and come into the future. And seeing as I can't quite put my finger on it, it's sort of pointless for me to mention.

It's official. I really don't like Resnick. Making friends turn on friends and then having a go at his employee's wife. Not cool in my books at all. But when it comes to painting him as the villain like I know you want to, you're doing a good job here. I am pretty sure no reader likes him. I also found the introduction of Karson to be interesting. I see him as more loyal to Meyer than Resnick at the moment, and not too afraid of him which is pretty interesting. I am not entirely sure what to think of him just yet, but I am sure we will see more of his character as things go on. An intriguing introduction though.

I do think one thing is really missing in this novel so far, and that has to be setting. I am finding it to be quite neglected because I can't imagine where any of this is happening at all. I wanted to be able to visualise the time of day and what these streets would look like. Is it summer or winter? I am feeling the kind of dark summery kind of feel of things, but I can't be sure for lack of description. I think this relates to previous chapters as well excpeting when ti comes to their house because you did a good job with that. Just make sure you take the time out of the story to describe what we should be able to see around the characters.

Like in the previous chapter I am still pretty confused as to why Resnick is on to her especially. It doesn't seem like he has any particular problem with Meyer (or does he know that too many people are dedicated to Meyer instead of him?) and it might be just because Sadie is a woman, but then I would want to know why he is drawn to her especially. I mean, there are plenty other employee wives he could've gone for. Or if it is because he knows something about Sadie that we don't yet, then hint at it. But it bothers me that I still can't see a distinct reason as to why Sadie is so special in comparison to the rest of them.

and often frequented their house to grab a meal or drink a beer.

“Really?”


I know this is not a comical novel or so, but who doesn't love a moment of humor in a book? I feel like this should be that moment too, and we get that impression - but only a little bit. I want the actions to emphasise it some more and at least leave the reader smiling about it. I want to see her jolt backwards in surprise, not caring that the trigger could've been pulled at the slightest move. I want all her fear to be forgotten for that moment when she sees Karson and all she does is say really in a flat voice, or in a wobbly high pitch one, or... whatever you want! Just describe how she says it, and what actions go with it.

Sadie glanced once more at the driver, then resentfully lifted her chin and stepped nearer to the car. As she approached Mr. Resnick gestured for her to go to the other side of the car. She wet her lips and walked around the back of the car, towards Karson.


The car this... the car that... in general I am just getting too much for the car in this paragraph. I would rather the second sentence ended at 'the other side' because we already know what is being referred to at this point. The third repetition is okay enough, but if you have another idea it would probably be preferred!

That's all I can say for this chapter. Once again, not too much to complain about here. I am still loving it and now I know some serious stuff is going to go down. Then suspense is building. I wonder how good Meyer will be at going along with the game.

Deanie x

User avatar
TimmyJake
Review
TimmyJake wrote a review Review · Jun 16, 2015

Timmy hereeee again.

So there are basically no points or nitpicks I can pick up in this chapter, and you've written all the scenes so perfect, I wouldn't know where to start with even the simplest of things. When I read the beginning chapters, I had my doubts about whether you had the characters in your control or if they were gone wild, but this chapter is the deciding factor for me. You know exactly what you're doing, and you're just genius at it. xD The characters in this chapter, even those you introduce, are perfect and just match the exact template you need. I see Karson even with this little bit we get from him, and thanks to Sadie, we already know a lot about him. I love how you can bring depth to a character from just a snippet of conversation - help us understand them more. It's always been one of your finest writing qualities.

I only have two quick things, both of which you can ignore if you want. Some people agree with me, but others don't. Whatever the case with you, I'M RIGHT. And actually, I'd say in the end... it's more than opinion. It's a writing fact some people, even published authors, find difficulty with. At least I had a loud-mouthed mentor in the writer's club. xd

The tall blond grimaced slightly


adverb: slightly

She recognized him immediately


adverb: immediately

then resentfully lifted her chin


adverb: resentfully

His voice was so soft it was nearly inaudible.


adverb: nearly and etc....

So yes, adverbs. Many, many writers use them like their Hershey kisses, sending sweet gifts to the readers. What do they do in reality? In most cases, they weaken the sentence - and it's because they're weak. An example I always use is walked quietly. This could be replaced with quite a few better verbs, such as tiptoed and crept. The majority of the time, a strong verb can replace a verb+adverb combo and do a much better job at it. It'll take a while before you quit using them and find stronger verbs, but once you do, I guarantee your writing will be better and tighter. And in other cases, such as in many places in your writing - actually, I'd say more than half of them - the adverb isn't necessary. You already have the strong verb there! So the adverb is like something tacked onto the end, dangling without a purpose.

So I think you can see now why some people agree, while others disagree. I don't know what you'll think, but perhaps you'll at least agree that you could lessen up a bit on the adverbs? You love them far too much. ;)

The only other thing that I think could be improved in this chapter were the emotions of Sadie when Resnick is, erm, playing with her. She doesn't seem... well, mad and scared enough. She's yelling stop, hitting him, etc. But I'm not getting the sense of urgency I think we'd be getting from her in a situation like this. An example would be when she tells Resnick she's married... while Resnick is trying to get ahold of her. The dialogue tag is corrected him. Now that sounds way, way too calm for the situation, don't you think? I think she'd be in a frenzy, doing whatever she could to get away from him. In this, you think she'd be afraid to hurt him! She only hit his chest. Whaaa? This girl is a fighter. Make her fight. For real.

And another cliff-hanger at the ending. >> I swear you're trying to kill me here. xd At a time like this, you're closing the chapter? D: Actually, you have a knack for stopping things at just the perfect moment - right when my curiosity is at its peak. So now it's going to be itching at me for the next day or so, until I go and read the next chapter. Congratulations, you found another sucker, Sarah. xDD

I'm loving this story and all your characters more and more as I go farther into it. Keep it up, please. This is one book I'd be sad to see you quit writing.
~Darth Timmyjake

User avatar
comrie
Review
comrie wrote a review Review · May 29, 2015

Hey Shadow! I read this way earlier but I'm just now getting started on this review. Thank you for alerting me, I only wish I wrote this as soon as I read this chapter. Sorry about the lateness; I'm here now though! Onto the review...

Oh wow, things are moving fast. I'm glad we see what happened right after chapter 2, because you left us at such a cliffhanger (and you left one here too but we'll get to that a little later!).

I noticed a POV switch among three of the characters here. I think a space or break should be placed just before Karson starts up. Right now his is sort of intertwined with not only hers, but also Meyer's. I don't know, jumping from Sadie to Karson then to Meyer was unexpected, but in a weird way. I don't know if it's because I still don't know who Karson is, and that this is the first time meeting him.

I mean there was a POV switch in the other chapters, but I felt like they were pretty smooth. Here not so much, and thinking back I think it has to do with how sudden Karsons POV came in. It was like "sadiesadiesadiesadie...Karson? Okay. Karson.. Karson" maybe I'm just not giving Karson a chance here. He is trying to help Sadie and Meyer anyway. Not sure if what I'm saying is understandable. If not, let me know.

Let's move on to specific nitpicks. I only have two for ya:

Sadie’s heart lurched into her throat as she stared down the barrel of the pistol, into the stern face of the driver.


The way the last part of this sentence is phrased, it seems like she's staring through gun's barrel to see his face. that's how I'm reading it. I think to avoid any possible confusion among other readers, you should add the word "and" before the word "into." Just so we can see and follow the direction of her gaze more smoothly.

Sadie held her arms out from her sides, palms facing Karson. “Knock yourself out.”


I had a hard time picturing this in my head. So if her arms are stretched out at her sides with her palms facing Karson, does this mean Karson is standing to her side? How else would her palms face him? I personally like knowing where characters are and the specifics of their motions/actions so this is why reading this bothered me. But I think regardless of who's reading, it's okay to be as specific as you need to be and I think throwing in just where Karson is (just so Sadie's actions read more smoothly) would be helpful. It could just be my preference here, I'll warn you.

I couldn't find anything else that needs a looking over. I'm liking how this story's going. Resnick's in big trouble now: Meyers after him. I wonder how that'll go down. And Sadie-I hope Resnick keeps his hands OFF her! I like how you've portrayed all of your characters so far. Writing is as awesome as ever. I have the feeling that this is ending soon just because of what's happened so far but maybe (hopefully) I'm wrong? Anyway I'm loving it all.

But hey I'll be out of town for the month and I'm planning to stay away from the Internet/social media during my time away. It kills me to think of it but it's something me and my friends dared ourselves to do. But! If you post any chapters between now and then, I'll be sure to gobble it up (reading-wise of course) and provide reviews for them as soon as I come back. Until next time!

KEEP. Writing. :)

-comrie

User avatar
Deleted4
Review
Deleted4 wrote a review Review · May 28, 2015

Hi ShadowVyper,

Me again! Thank you for the message to alert me about the newest installation of the story!

Again, I love the story, and as it progresses I'm getting more and more caught up in it!

I think your dialogue is improving as the story continues and your descriptions in the action scenes (Sades struggling with Mr Resnick in the car for example) are just brilliant.

Keep Writing! As always I can't wait to read more, and message me again when you post Chapter 4 :)

-theb00kthi3f


Oh! Also, I'm reading a book at the moment, it reminds me of your writing a lot and has a simliar story line, if you want to check it out, its called "Blink & Caution", by Tim Wynne-Jones. If your interested.

Shady replied · May 28, 2015

Awesome! Thanks for the review. That definitely sounds like an interesting story-- I'll have to check it out! :)

User avatar
Guardian
Review
Guardian wrote a review Review · May 27, 2015

Guardian here!

WOW! Just: WOW!

I haven't read the first two chapters, but I will now! This writing is truly incredible. I am at a loss of words right now. I really felt like I was reading a professional novel. I just have one tiny nit-picky thing to point out. Somewhere near the beginning of the chapter, you have dialogue from Resnick:

" 'Technically Lukas pointed a gun in your face, both times.' "

Here's the thing: You want dialogue to flow. And you are doing a very neat job at that :) . But for this sentence here, I think that it's best to have an ellipse [...] instead of a comma. So your sentence should look like:

" 'Technically Lukas pointed a gun in your face... Both times.' "

Other than this, I'm absolutely LOVING this chapter! I need more! The character development is incredible, along with the imagery... I felt like I was actually there, in the story. I'll say it again: I'm at a loss of words.

This is just too astounding to be true.

Write on!

-Guardian



When one door closes, another one opens. If not, just take out your jackhammer and break through that wall.
— Toast F. Krestvwich