Color Photographs, Chapter Ten

by Shady

Published December 22, 2015

16+ Language Violence

In Color Photographs

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

The arrival of the car chased away all thoughts of sleep. Sadie was on her feet in an instant, checking her pistol as she walked toward Ronny. He smirked as she approached. “I told you he’d come for me.”

“Shut up.” She pressed her gun against his head, hoping her hand wasn’t trembling enough for him to be able to feel it. Her heartbeat was so loud it was almost deafening as she stared at the door.

A sharp rap at the door made her flinch slightly. A moment later Meyer’s voice made her relax. “Open up guys, it’s me.”

Sadie flicked her gun to safety mode and breathed a sigh of relief. She stood by Ronny’s chair, ready to smack him in the head when he needed it again. Karson moved to the door and opened it.

Ronny cursed. “You assholes are going to pay when my Uncle Karl finds—”

“Shut up,” Sadie said. She smacked his head. “No one’s scared of your Uncle Karl.”

“Uh, babe?”

Sadie turned towards Meyer’s voice as he walked in, followed by a man who seemed to be seven feet tall carrying a large pistol in his hand. A moment later Karl Reneve appeared, his gaze fixing on Sadie. Her eyes went wide and she stood slightly taller as she took a step away from Ronny.

“Yeah, not scared of my uncle my ass,” Ronny muttered. “I knew you—”

“Shut up, Ronny,” Reneve said.

“Yes, sir.” Ronny murmured, dipping his head, suddenly subdued.

Sadie glanced at Ronny then back at Reneve. His gaze hadn’t left Sadie. He was trying to analyze her bruises and how stiff her movements were, to see how much Resnick had actually hurt her. Her face certainly had seen better days. He crooked a finger. “Come here.”

Sadie looked at Meyer, where he stood just to Reneve’s left. Reneve was a man who commanded respect and his command made her feel compelled to obey—but she wasn’t going to do anything unless her husband said it was okay. Meyer nodded, silently telling her to do as he said.

Reneve watched the exchange, then watched as Sadie awkwardly set her pistol on a nearby table and walked until she was standing just in front of him, doing her best to draw herself up to her full height. She was paler than normal and swaying slightly. His voice was as empty of emotion as his expression was as he spoke. “Did you just hit my nephew?”

She wet her lips, wondering which answer would cause the least amount of trouble. She knew lying to a man like Reneve was a mistake, yet she figured that admitting she’d hit his nephew wasn’t a good move either. She decided on a softened truth. “Not that hard.”

“Do you feel bad about it?” Reneve questioned, keeping his jawline hard. Sadie didn’t know what he was leading up to, or how she was supposed to answer. She wished she could hide behind Meyer, and make him answer for her.

“Not particularly.” She realized it was a stupid answer as soon as she’d said it, and a glance at Meyer’s disapproving flinch confirmed her fear. She needed to fix it. “I mean, not yet… er… I mean… I regret having done it now.”

Reneve smirked. Sadie was a long way from being convinced that he was amused. His smirk was mirthless and looked vicious. He crossed his arms, lifting an eyebrow. “Interesting… but I don’t hear you apologizing.”

Of course I’m not apologizing. The little jerk deserved it—I’m only sorry you saw it. She clenched her fist, focusing on keeping her breathing even. Her pride was bucking against the thought of apologizing to the little brat. Still, she knew Reneve’s help was much too valuable to throw away for pride’s sake. “I will if you want me to.”

“Aren’t you just a good wittle girl?” Reneve said, leaning down to pat her cheek. Sadie’s entire body went tense as she clenched her teeth, desperately willing herself not to do something stupid. Every fiber of her being wanted to deck him. He straightened, then jerked his head towards Ronny. “Untie him.”

Sadie looked to Meyer for confirmation. He nodded, so she moved towards Ronny, fists still clenched. She was tired of men; tired of having to take their arrogance and pride. She pulled out her knife and roughly cut the boy’s restraints, not caring that it jerked on his shoulders, then turned and took a few steps away again as she folded the knife and put it back in her pocket.

Ronny sprang out of his chair with a resentful huff and began clawing at the knots around each wrist. Sadie turned her attention back to the boy’s uncle, fully aware that Ronny wouldn’t have the guts to try anything unless Reneve commanded it. Reneve watched his nephew for a moment. “You okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Reneve nodded once then turned back to Meyer. He suddenly pulled the pistol out of his jacket and trained it on her husband. The entire room got tense as it seemed like everyone yanked a gun out and pointed it at someone. “Luckily for you, that means you get a quick death.”

Sadie felt like her heart leaped into her throat. All the fear and panic she’d experienced over the last few days suddenly was climaxing with her worst nightmare playing before her eyes. She couldn’t bear to lose Meyer. He was the most important person in her life, and she didn’t plan on living longer than he did. She didn’t care if that meant she died tonight.

She didn’t have time to plan how she was going to help him. Meyer was pointing a gun back at Reneve and a second pistol at Ronny; Ronny snatched her gun off the table and was pointing it at Karson; Karson had a gun in each fist, covering both of the guards.

Sadie was the only person without a gun pointing at her—yet she didn’t figure pulling her back up one would do any good. Instead she quickly stepped forward until she was mere inches in front of Reneve’s gun, between him and Meyer. He narrowed his intense eyes and looked down at her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Losing all claims to sanity. She took a shaky breath, mustering up every speck of courage she could find in her weary body in the absolute silence that followed. “If you want to kill one of us, make it me. I-I’m the reason you’re here. I’m the only one who could possibly make M-Meyer call you for help.” She sniffled, disgusted at how weak her voice sounded. She hated the fact that she was stuttering; that she was trembling so badly she knew everyone in the room could see it. She swallowed hard and bit her lip to keep it from wobbling, as she slowly reached her hand up and moved his gun to the center of her own forehead. “So go ahead and get your-your revenge, if-if you must.”

His expression slowly changed from harsh to curious as he stood considering her for a long moment. “That would hardly be revenge.” Reneve moved his gun slightly, so that he was aiming over Sadie’s shoulder.

Sadie could feel droplets of sweat forming on her head and slowly sliding down her neck. She knew everyone was staring at her. Everyone was waiting to see her next move and Reneve’s response to it. She took a step to the side, so that his gun was pressed against her forehead once again. “It’s the p-perfect r-r-revenge.” She swallowed hard again. The room was starting to shift slightly under her feet, and her head felt so light. “K-kill me and M-Meyer had n-no reason t-to kill Res-Res… He…”

“He what?” Reneve’s gaze finally moved from Sadie’s eyes to look over her at Meyer. “You’re really going to let your old woman act as your shield, coward?”

“I-I’m not his dog,” Sadie said, her voice still trembling. “H-he doesn’t control me.”

“Sades…” Meyer didn’t sound pleased. Sadie didn’t turn to look.

“H-he came to you f-for hel…p… b-because I was d-dumb… and… Res… I got in t-trouble. And-and if y-you k-k-kill my-my husband then he will come back and he’ll r-rape me ag-again and… I won’t.” Sadie started breathing rapidly, unable to draw a deep breath. The room was spinning. “D-dying is… is better than… just put… me… out of my misery and-and go away. L-leave my-my love al-alone.”

Reneve looked into her eyes for a long moment. “You really mean that.”

“Y-y-yes.”

He looked at her for another long moment before slowly letting the hand holding the pistol fall to his side. He nodded once and extended a hand. “Fine, then. Partners, is it?”

She swayed slightly, looking down at the pistol in one hand, then at the other hand stretched towards her. She couldn’t breathe; couldn’t think. Relief washed over her. Suddenly the muscles in her legs relaxed all at once, and she fell backwards into a warm darkness.

Meyer saw her swaying half a moment before she fell. He dropped his gun and dove headlong towards her, arms outstretched in front of him. He caught her head and shoulders just before they struck the crumbling concrete floor. His own chest and arms smarted from sliding across the concrete, but he barely noticed as he sat up, pulling Sadie into his arms.

He hugged her head close to his chest, pressing his hand against her cheek and forehead. They were burning hot, and he wished he had cool water to dab on her face to cool her down. He easily lifted her off the floor and looked around for a soft place to lay her. He walked over to the fading blue recliner and gently laid her down, letting her legs dangle over the arms of the chair.

If they were home he’d probably just strip her down so that her clothes wouldn’t trap the heat in—but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate being stripped to her tank top in front of this many men, especially not after what Resnick had done to her. Meyer tenderly caressed her cheek.

Reneve walked over and stood behind Meyer as he looked at Sadie, frowning slightly. He didn’t know why, but a small pang of guilt was plaguing him. He’d done much worse things to people without regretting it in the least—he didn’t know what it was about this girl that was so different. He couldn’t afford to get sentimental. “Some hardened criminal she is.”

“No, she’s not,” Meyer agreed, standing up and whirling around suddenly. All the tenderness in his eyes vanished as a dark glower suddenly clouded his brow. He grabbed the front of Reneve’s suit threateningly and jerked him down to Meyer’s own eye level. “She didn’t choose the life we did. She doesn’t deserve to have guns pointed at her. And she won’t have to put up with it again.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Ronny was gaping, the pistol in his hand nearly completely forgotten as he stared at Meyer. The guards and Karson all had their guns still trained on their targets, but they too were staring at the men in the center of the room.

People didn’t often live long after they messed with someone Meyer loved—but people died even sooner if they dared put their hands on Reneve. A battle was brewing, and it was hard to say who was going to be alive at the end of it. Reneve glared as fiercely into Meyer’s eyes as he could, trying to intimidate him, but Meyer’s gaze was unwavering.

After an agonizingly long moment Reneve broke the stand-off by jerking himself away and resentfully smoothing his suite down. He glared at Meyer for another moment, as he snapped his fingers—calling off his guards. He briskly walked towards the door, his goons and nephew in his wake, and paused just before he exited. “If you desire longevity of life, I suggest you don’t do that again.” 

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
TimmyJake
Review
TimmyJake wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2015

Timmy hereee

I should be going to bed. Yes, I should. Buuut I'mma review this real quick before I do. After a three day hiatus, I feel lazy anyway. :p

To be honest, after reading this... I don't know what to say. There's nothing to critique I can find from a first read, and when I say nothing, I mean just nothing. Your writing is phenomenal, your characters perfect in their performance, and the entire plot is building so perfectly. Also, Sadie became my favorite character in this chapter. She was just... gah. I'LL TAKE TWO. She's so amazing! She has a soft heart, but even though she's so scared (that stuttering, tho), she's still out there in Reneve's face, trying to protect those she loves. She's a cool chick, and you done good. ;)

Lemme look this over and see if I can find any superfluous critique, at best, for me to give you before I slink away.

her hand wasn’t trembling enough for him to be able to feel it


Erm, you could omit be able to. Yes, that's my nitpick. xd

A moment later Meyer’s voice made her relax.


So this is something I do just as much as you. I see it as a type of telling when you should be showing. You do better in the previous sentence, telling us she tensed up, although you kinda spoiled it with the made her, which is redundant with the following sentence. That's actually my biggest nitpick of your whole chapter, I think. I do this all the time, and it's just weak. So the sentence you have above... look it over. You're telling us that she relaxed - that the sound of Meyer's voice made her relax. If you think about it, that's saying that his voice forced her to. xd Made is not the word to use here, even though I know I may have, too. Instead, you need her to show she's relieved. Something like: Her shoulder slumped forward in relief when she heard Meyer's voice a moment later. Crappy example, I know, but there you go. It's showing her relief, and I think that's what you're missing here.

not scared of my uncle my ass


A note: This kid's favorite word seems to be ass. Is that intentional? xd

I'm confused. How does Sadie know Reneve? She didn't even know much about Meyer's job before this, much less who he worked with... right? Now this is probably just me being forgetful because it's been a while since I read the previous chapters, but I thought I'd throw it out there. I don't remember Sadie knowing Reneve.

He suddenly pulled the pistol out of his jacket and trained it on her husband.


I'll be blunt... Meyer should have seen this coming. He doesn't trust Reneve, and the dude was being rude to Sadie and patting her on the cheek, etc.... I'd think his hand would've been close to his own gun, and he would've been keeping a close eye on Reneve, and would've at least been in the motion of pulling his own weapon at the same time as Reneve. That's what I'd think, anyway - from what I know of Meyer.

The entire room got tense as it seemed like everyone yanked a gun out and pointed it at someone.


The room may have gotten tense, but I certainly do not feel it with this sentence. xd And, really, there's only one person left to pull out a gun - Meyer. The guard already had a gun in his hand, so did Reneve because he pulled it on Meyer, and Ronny obviously wouldn't have one because he's been tied up all day. Sadie's was on the table still... sooo the only person to draw one would be Meyer. This sentence makes it seem like there's twenty five dudes in there! xd

Sometimes your stuttering worked - other times not. While I don't know anything about stuttering, it didn't feel... natural, like it always does when you hear it from people. Most of it did, but the stuttering at the ends of the words didn't sound right. I'd suggest you look it up if you haven't already, just so you know you're doing it right. But I loved how you put it in there. It showed how frightened she was so much better than anything else could.

Okay, there's my five cents on this chapter. There was basically nothing to nitpick, as your writing is just too close to perfect. You really need to stop being so good, at least so I can feel like I'm leaving a decent review. Rudeee. xd

As always, loving your writing. <3
~Darth Timmyjake

User avatar
comrie
Review
comrie wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2015

Really. YOU DONE DID GOOD. It's break. School's out. It's a great time to catch up on some writing.

Knock, knock, and look it's Meyer and Reneve. I thought this chapter would be all camaraderie and teamwork and all of the good things in the world. Imagine my surprise when Reneve decided to pull a gun out on Meyer. While I was confused and worried over this, I have to say that it was a good job on your part. In making me guess, Is Reneve really going to help out?

I guess I just took his offer of help for granted and without possible consequences in that other chapter. I took him at his word, and this chapter made me reconsider it all over again. I didn't consider the fact that perhaps he'd be a tad too sour about Meyer and company holding his nephew hostage. Now I have to keep my eyes peeled wide open for these characters throughout the rest of this story.

But having the gun pointed at Meyer had to be the most terrifying feeling for Sadie. She put her trust in Meyer who put (some) of his trust in Reneve to help out in taking Resnick down. And then Reneve went and aimed his gun at Meyer. I can't imagine how betrayed Meyer felt, but he surely should have been expecting it, considering his history with him and his family.

Sadie standing in front of Meyer, defending him, her love for him, was very touching and sad to read. I could tell just how much she loved and cared about him. I just didn't know if Reneve would be able to tell, considering he decided to whip a gun out within five minutes of his arrival. I can't get over that. Here I thought he'd stand in as one of the good guys. He seems to be now, after listening to and watching Sadie, but I can't help but think he'd try and betray them later in the game.

I thought Ronny would get more bearable as the chapters went on, but I was wrong. Looks like the only person that reign Ronny's obnoxiousness in is Reneve (who I'm on the fence about now, even after he backed off of Meyer). I wonder if he's going to be involved in their plans now that he's safe and sound with big bad Uncle Reneve. I have no idea how that would go about, and I don't think I'd want to see, but this is just a running thought in my head.

I'm going to point a few punctuation errors for you. Feel free to disagree:

“Open up guys, it’s me.”


I think you should add a comma after up and replace the comma I set in bold with a period, creating two different sentences. I feel like they can stand on their own.

“Yes, sir.” Ronny murmured, dipping his head, suddenly subdued.


Replace the bold period with a comma so it's "Yes, sir," Ronny murmured, dipping his head, suddenly subdued.

Told you they were a few. I tried rereading so that I could spot them again, but I can't find them. I think I should get into the habit of reviewing as I read because I've been having this problem too many times. But I digress.

That's it for now. I didn't find any issues in the writing in general. I think it flowed well and the dialogue was pretty good. I think you got a good chapter here, Shadow. Thank you for tagging me! I look forward to the next chapter. As always, keep writing!

-comrie



The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
— Groucho Marx