A Fleeting Eternity - Chapter Three

by Shady

Published January 10, 2020

In A Fleeting Eternity

Ky un-hitched the carriage in the small shed next to the stable, then led the geldings into empty stalls. The one that’d been hitched to the left was ever so slightly taller, and had a heart-shaped splotch on his right shoulder. He was by far the most affectionate, nuzzling Ky as she thoroughly wiped him down. The one that’d been hitched to the right was also sweet, though he kept falling asleep as she brushed him.

Her work was as meticulous as ever, but her mind was far away. She didn’t like Aleth. The exchange with him left her feeling unsettled, and she still couldn’t seem to shake the vague sense of danger that still clung to her as she thought back on his threat of seeking her out after their ride. She desperately hoped that he didn’t actually intend to make good on that promise.

His interest made no sense. High-born men didn’t care about stable boys.

And yet it almost seemed as if he was making a game of figuring her out. She didn’t like it. There was far too much at stake for anyone to begin prodding at her assumed identity. She had to be careful, if she didn’t want to risk a quick date at the gallows.

She grabbed a shovel and began mucking out the stalls, putting her anxious energy to work. Soon sweat beaded on the back of her neck and trickled down into her tunic, and her breathing became labored. Her arms burned slightly from the effort, but she enjoyed the work out, and welcomed the distraction.

“Excuse me?”

Ky looked up in surprise at the voice, shovel in mid-pass towards the wheelbarrow, and turned to find a barracks boy standing in the door. Zivyn stood behind him, waiting obediently. Ky raised an eyebrow in surprise. “They’re back already?”

“Yes,” he answered. “They’d like both horses to have a bath.”

“Alright,” Ky answered, dumping the shovel into the wheelbarrow and then propping it up on the wall. She stepped forward and took the reins from the boy, then reached out for the reins to Aleth’s horse as well from the second barracks boy who stood a few steps away.

Ky led each horse to an empty stall, quickly unbridling and unsaddling both, then put a halter on Zivyn and led him out to the wash bay. She enjoyed giving the horses baths, even though she always ended up just as soaked as they did.

She doused Zivyn with the first bucket of water, worked up a later with the soap, and then used a curry to dislodge the dirt that hid deep in his goat. She undid her braids from earlier in the morning and washed his hair as well, then rinsed him off and used a squeegee to dry him off. She grabbed an old towel and gave him a quick rub-down, then put him back and went for Aleth’s horse.

Aleth also rode a large stallion, his gray and white coat sleek and gorgeous, despite the sweat lathered on top. Ky repeated the bath process with him, being just as thorough to wash away every speck of muck. She finished the quick wipe-down with the towel, then pulled a small metal comb out and began working on the knots in his mane.

“Ky!”

Ky started, head snapping up. Aleth stood just on the other side of his horse, eyes locked on hers, still filled with the same dangerous gaze he’d given her earlier. His voice was just a bit too cheery. It filled her stomach with butterflies.

“Sir.” Ky hesitated a moment. “May I help you?”

“I just wanted to see how you were getting on with Kalrey.” Aleth patted the horse’s neck affectionately. Ky was silent, turning her eyes back towards his mane as she resumed running the small comb through it. Aleth nodded approvingly. “He looks nice.”

“Thank you, sir,” Ky murmured, keeping her eyes fixed on her work.

“Where’d you learn to tend horses?”

Ky looked up suspiciously. Aleth’s eyes were fixed on her, critical, as if he were evaluating her answer before she’d even given it. His pale skin was slightly pink from his time in the sun. She looked down again. “On my farm, sir.”

“In the Mountains, right?”

“Yes, sir.” Ky took a deep breath, mind racing for a way out of this mess. What she wouldn’t have given in that moment for Broer to step out of the stable to bark an order at her. She’d muck a thousand stalls if it meant getting away from Aleth.

“And how old were you then?”

“Twelve, sir,” she answered reluctantly.

“I see,” Aleth answered. “So, you’re what, fourteen, fifteen, now?”

Ky’s eyes snapped up again to meet his challenging gaze.

“Suspicious little lad, aren’t you?” Aleth mused, smirking slightly. He trailed his hand down Kalrey’s back as he walked around to the side where Ky stood. “I asked Makata about you, you know?”

Ky tensed as Aleth’s hand landed on her shoulder, breath catching. His touch was gentle, but the threat was clear as he looked down the length of his nose at her. He put his hand on hers to stop her combing, smirking at her discomfort.

“You know what he said?”

“No, sir,” she answered breathlessly.

“He said he had no memory of you whatsoever,” Aleth said. Ky nearly snorted. That sounded about right for Makata. “But he did recall that the last time he brought children to the palace it was from sectors nine and twelve, which was about two years ago, as far as he recalls. Does that sound about right to you?”

Ky swallowed hard. Her heart was racing so hard she wondered if it’d burst free of her chest and go running down the cobblestone. Her mouth was so dry, chest so tight. “Yes, sir.”

“So, does that mean you’re fourteen? Fifteen?”

“Nearly fifteen, sir.”

“A fun age.”

“Yes, sir.” Ky barely resisted the urge to bite her lip, staring straight ahead of her at Kalrey’s partially-combed mane. She didn’t know what he meant by “fun” but she was certain she didn’t care to find out.

Each moment seemed to last an eternity. Aleth’s hand resting on her shoulder, his other hand grasping her hand and the comb, his breath warm against her neck as he looked down on her. She could feel the hardness of his chest against her shoulder, and desperately hoped he couldn’t feel her binding through her tunic.

“You’ve got a beautiful horse, sir,” Ky said, hoping to divert the subject away from herself. “Where’d you get him?”

“Atraya,” Aleth answered, smirking slightly, as if he recognized her game of trying to deflect his attention and found it amusing. He removed his hands from her, taking the comb, still standing a bit too close. “They breed the best war horses I’ve ever seen in that country. Princess and War Lord Ainsley are both excellent equestriennes. Have you ever met them?”

“No, sir.” Ky untied Kalrey and began leading him back towards the barn, carefully positioning herself so that the horse stood between her and Aleth.

“Pity,” Aleth answered. “You and the princess would make quite the pair.”

“I doubt she’d take much notice of me, sir,” Ky said, wishing she could also point out that he also should not be taking notice of her. “I’m just a stable boy.”

Ky led Kalrey into his stall and took the lead off of him. She stopped short as she turned back to the door, and found Aleth taking up the entire entrance. He leaned casually against the doorframe, brushing his thumb across the teeth of the comb. “Take me to the tack stall.”

“Yes, sir.” Ky stepped forward, hesitating slightly to see if Aleth would move out of the way. He stepped back slightly, but still stayed squarely in the way. She turned away from him, back brushing across his chest as she slid through the doorway in front of him.

Ky briskly strode down the hall, Aleth trailing close at her heels. She stepped into the room and hung Kalrey’s halter and lead rope on the hooks on the wall. She hesitated again as Aleth once again blocked the entire entrance with his body. He was silent for a long moment, his eyes flicking around the room, before he slowly nodded and looked back towards her. “I assume you know how to care for saddles?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Excellent!” Aleth said brightly. “I have a special cream in my room I’d like you to use on my saddle.”

“Yes, sir,” Ky answered, eyes fixed on his face as she continued nervously. “If you send it down with a palace boy, I’d be more than happy to use your cream on your saddle.”

“No, I’d like to supervise, what with it being your first time with this cream,” Aleth answered. “You’ll bring the saddle up to my room and do it there.”

She wanted to scream. Her entire body was tensed, each breath a battle to draw past the knot in her stomach. She wasn’t allowed to decline the requests of anyone who outranked her. And yet, she would have given literally anything to do anything but go up to Aleth’s room with him again.

“Bring it now,” Aleth instructed tersely.

“Yes, sir,” Ky answered, turning and walking to the far wall where the saddle racks were lined up. She grabbed Aleth’s saddle and put it on her right hip, grabbing the cantle with her hand. Saddles weren’t particularly heavy, but they also weren’t light, and this was the easiest way she’d learned to carry them.

Aleth nodded approvingly, then stepped into the hall. Ky followed close behind him, eyes darting around the stable in a desperate attempt to find something – anything at all – that she could use as an excuse for why she couldn’t come with him just then. And yet every door was closed and every stall tended, just as it should be.

“Makata has a bit of business he needs to attend to before he and I can meet,” Aleth explained as they walked. He led her across the courtyard and into the palace. “Which should give you and I plenty of time to chat.”  

Comments & reviews · 4
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mellifera
Review
mellifera wrote a review Review · May 3, 2020

Shady! :D


though he kept falling asleep as she brushed him.


ahaha this is very on point for some horses and it's very funny <3 also after you tighten their girths?? horses are goofy

She didn’t like Aleth


NOBODY DOES

She desperately hoped that he didn’t actually intend to make good on that promise.


Shady I have Bad Feelings.

His interest made no sense. High-born men didn’t care about stable boys.


oh,,,, that's not always true,,,,

She had to be careful, if she didn’t want to risk a quick date at the gallows.


oh whoa heck?? So, she's concealing her identity because her life is being threatened? Is it because she's a girl, because she's masquerading as a girl, or because of whatever she ran away from after this attack that she escaped from? I have so many questions.

Her arms burned slightly from the effort


a very, very nitpicky thing but also your core gets pretty tired from cleaning out stalls!

Zivyn stood behind him, waiting obediently. Ky raised an eyebrow in surprise. “They’re back already?”


OH NO

worked up a later with the soap, and then used a curry to dislodge the dirt that hid deep in his goat


wow what a party trick I've never seen a horse turn into a goat

Aleth also rode a large stallion,


OOF RIP ALETH but also literally rip Aleth because I Don't Care for him At All


also you've done such a good job with all the horse related stuff and it makes my heart warm and happy!! <3


“Ky!”

Ky started, head snapping up. Aleth stood just on the other side of his horse, eyes locked on hers, still filled with the same dangerous gaze he’d given her earlier. His voice was just a bit too cheery. It filled her stomach with butterflies.


who let this gross, stinky man over here

“Where’d you learn to tend horses?”


this is such a specific question?? why do you CARE go AWAY

“A fun age.”

“Yes, sir.” Ky barely resisted the urge to bite her lip, staring straight ahead of her at Kalrey’s partially-combed mane. She didn’t know what he meant by “fun” but she was certain she didn’t care to find out.


EW why are you so good at writing creepy characters!! it's delightful to read and so well-written but also EW YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT

Aleth answered, smirking slightly,


The smirking is getting a little repetitive? It could also just be that it always seems like the bad guys Smirk constantly in anything, and I'm just hyper-sensitive to it, but I also believe he smirked while they were in his room as well. In this instance, you did already mention he was smirking, so I don't think you have to go into it again.

“They breed the best war horses I’ve ever seen in that country. Princess and War Lord Ainsley are both excellent equestriennes. Have you ever met them?”


!!!!!! AINSLEYS!!!!

“Pity,” Aleth answered. “You and the princess would make quite the pair.”


what does that even MEAN, ALETH

“Excellent!” Aleth said brightly. “I have a special cream in my room I’d like you to use on my saddle.”


you,,,, you don't use,,,, cream on saddles,,,,, ????? GROSS MAN ??????????

“No, I’d like to supervise, what with it being your first time with this cream,” Aleth answered. “You’ll bring the saddle up to my room and do it there.”


EW GROSS NO I'm so uncomfortable about him this man is nasty and I dislike him greatly!!!!

“Which should give you and I plenty of time to chat.”


I still genuinely can't tell if he's acting this way to off-put her and make her uncomfortable specifically because he knows something about her past and he's going to suddenly do a 180 or something where he's like "aha! it was a ploy! I KNOW THINGS" or if he is genuinely this gross and weird and creepy. OR BOTH??? I have a feeling he Knows things.


I obviously don't know the formatting for this story yet, or the over-arcing plot or anything, but I'm kind of wondering if there could be a little more of a buffer between when Aleth leaves and when he returns? It feels like such a short time, and I think it would add a lot to the general unease of the chapter if Ky had to wait for a while and you could see the dread rising in her as time passed, not knowing when he would return, you know?

Another general note: are there no other stable hands? I don't know how big this stable is, but I'd imagine if it houses the royal steed/s and whatnot, there would be more staff around besides just Ky and Broer? I say that like I wasn't the only one working besides the barn manager and one other kid, all separately, when I was working at a stable BUT I IMAGINE THIS ONE IS PROBABLY BIGGER AND NICER AND HAS MORE STAFF TO EXPEDITE THINGS

Also I'm definitely wondering why Aleth is noting that the King doesn't know of Ky?? I don't,,, expect the king to make a lot of notice of his servants or staff or know of them or their names in most circumstances?? Unless this is a very small palace??


I think that's all I've got for you today though! Hopefully it was helpful <3 I'm EXCITED and NERVOUS for the next chapter knowing the way you write this man will get what's coming for him though so LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT EVENTUALLY HOPEFULLY

I hope you have an amazing day <3

Shady replied · May 4, 2020

Ahaha thanks for the review! I appreciate it!

Your horse critiques are endearing and much-appreciated. @ExOmelas has had to deal with having a biologist reading their novel and all my "You can't PET a frog!" comments and such and while I've had some experience with horses, I'm certainly no expert and I appreciate the corrections with which muscles burn and also the fact that they don't magically turn into goats *face palm*

I haz question tho. So like the saddle cream, I was meaning like... leather cream? That's a thing, yeah? It's been a lot of years since I've dealt with tack but I could have sworn there was like a paste or something to keep the leather from cracking?

And also! Re: size things... Jabber has also commented on that and I am trying to think of a compromise lol. I originally dreamt up this story as it just being Ky and Broer (and briefly Alcan) in the stables, but I see how that can seem to small. Do you think like, it might be feasible if this is the king's Personal Stable so there's only a handful of horses here and then there be a bigger stable elsewhere? idk... it seems like the targeted attention wouldn't hold up as well if it was a bigger stable operation, but also I'm not sure how to reconcile those things lol any ideas are welcomed ^.^

Thanks again for the review!

the fact that you can't pet a frog is truly heartbreaking :P i just want Treego to know he's loved yknow

Shady replied · May 4, 2020

ahaha <3

I think that would work, if you had two separate stables! You might want to mention then, that Ky had like... earned her way to the King's Stable? Because I imagine that Broer/any other overseer would want to make sure that exactly the right person is caring after the king's personal mount/s.

generally you use saddle soap and then a bar of glycerin, but there's also stuff like mink oil (which is for conditioning), and neatsfoot oil (which I've only used once when I had to clean someone else's tack, but it worked very well!). it's mostly variations of some kinds of oils! maybe he could mention that he has some like, rare or exotic oil or something?

can you pet a frog if you try hard enough

Shady replied · May 4, 2020

Okee thanks!

you can pet a frog but not without hurting it. They breathe through their skin broski and have to stay damp, which your hand would ruin

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looseleaf
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looseleaf wrote a review Review · Jan 13, 2020

**My Thoughts**

Chat? CHAT?! Aw hell naw. I really hate Aleth, as you can tell. This chapter is good, even though not much happened (except Aleth being a creep).

**Formatting and Grammar**

Same as last time, I didn't notice any mistakes in formatting. But in grammar, I found one mistake. In the 11th paragraph (counting quotations), you say:

dislodge the dirt that hid deep in his goat


I believe "goat" is supposed to be coat.

**Capitalization and Punctuation**

No mistakes again!

**Characters**

Ky: I like her! She seems like the kind of person I would spend time with. Just one question, you might of covered this, why is she pretending to be a guy? Would they fire her if they knew she was a girl?

Aleth: What a bastard, I don't like him. At all. He doesn't exactly seem like an awful person, he just has a bad personallity.

Makata: Not a lot of info on him, but you said it was like him to not have memory of his servants.

**Quick Review**

All was fine except for one spelling mistake.

Keep on writing (I really enjoy this book), and have a good 2020!!

User avatar
JabberHut
Review
JabberHut wrote a review Review · Jan 13, 2020

NOOOOOOOOOO ALETH GO AWAAAAAY.

I can't believe he's back so SOON. He really has a strong interest in this girl, and he's clearly very clever to have already figured out she arrived a couple years ago due to some particular event. I had a feeling Aleth got a lot of information out of her, so it comes as no surprise to me that he managed to figure it out. But the fact that he had the gall to ask King Makata himself during their ride about Ky is really saying a lot about his intrigue with her. Perhaps he likes this kind of game, solving these kinds of puzzles about suspicious people, and enjoys manipulating people until he gets what he wants from them. What a sickoooo.

When the barracks boy arrived with the horses, I think my heart sank as low as Ky's did. I also was like "already!?" but then Aleth wasn't there, so it seemed to go alright. Tending horses is peaceful enough, and Ky really needed her normal duties to distract her and reframe her mind after what happened. I was a bit surprised she was the only stablehand available to help with two horses though, that seems a bit much, but it also sounded like later that any other potential help was just really busy with chores. Still, the king's horse and his noble guest's horse would probably have a certain priority in duties there.

At least Broer spitting out words like "everyone else is busy so hurry up" would probably be sufficient. Then he'd probably have a run-in with Aleth and direct him to where his horse was to be cared.

I really appreciated how you portrayed Ky's emotions during this whole exchange. I'm SO glad she's doing all she can to keep away while trying to maintain civility and respect for her higher-ups. It's such a difficult balance to maintain, but her decisions really make sense here, and I can only cheer her on and hope she continues to make smart decisions considering the boundaries put in place.

I also just really adore the attention to horse care. I don't know why, but I just love this kind of thing. I think it shows a real mastery or at least familiarity with her duties, like she clearly belongs here and knows how the world works from here. She's clearly in her element with the horses and at the stables, as opposed to being in the palace -- particularly with Aleth -- where she is the most uncomfortable. You do well balancing these perspectives for her.

I suddenly can't remember how much we know about Aleth. This might be intentional though, as Ky seems to not really know who Aleth is either. We just know he's a noble and friend of the king. I imagine we'll get some background with him at some point, but it feels very convenient that he has time to be with Ky after having just arrived at the palace. He must be here for some reason! Aleth made it sound like he'd have a meeting with the king at some point, so that must be part of the reason he's here. I wonder what they plan to discuss? Will it tie into Ky's background somehow and the abduction a couple years ago? There's just enough intrigue that I want to keep reading more! And I want Ky to be safe! ;_;

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keystrings
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keystrings wrote a review Review · Jan 10, 2020

Hello again! I am amazed by how well you're writing this story, while I am also quite excited by how well you're writing this. ^^ I'm looking over my past two reviews just to make sure of what I've predicted/expected for the next chapter, so I am all armed for this third section, whoop.

Can I just say I love getting all the sweet Ky interactions with the horses? Like, my dream as a child was to be around horses, so I'm getting all the flashbacks right now.

Alas, Aleth has arrived once more. It's very interesting having only Ky's view here because there are far too many possibilities for this king's interest in her. I am going to try to be positive and not think that he's "weirdly" interested in her since she does appear as a thin, short fifteen-year-old boy, (no offense to her), especially because he thought of her and the princess together for a minute. I love grasping onto random strings, so I wonder if there's a clue coming from that casual mention.

I also like getting some of the plot progressing as I'm going to think of Ky meeting Aleth as like the first "big event" or even the "opening event" for this novel to start with. He's still super creepy though. Aleth setting up this conversation though does say a lot as well, specifically of the fact that he asked Makata about her (who I guess if he's a king, he's her highest ranking boss), so what does he want from a boy who's supposed to be from the mountainside? I suppose we will hopefully find out soon!

One observation I have seen is that I think you really like names with "y" in them. Ky, Atraya, Zivyn, Myrond, but I really like this cause I think it adds to like the world-building, when there's names with similar letters/sounds.

A little less happens this chapter plot-wise, but I do like getting the build-up to the next dialogue scene between Ky and Aleth, and getting some more thoughts/description from just Ky, so this was a very nice chapter as well! This next one makes me nervous though :E



The important thing is never to stop questioning.
— Albert Einstein