Looking up
I realize that
the closest we've come
to time travel
is staring at these
burning balls of gas
and that should mean something
it does
although I'm not quite sure what
When I was younger
I never really got the hype about
space
now that I'm older
I still don't really get it
but I could see why
people dream about it
name planets after gods
There is something alluring
about the endlessness
the realization
that maybe we aren't so important
after all
or maybe most of us
are struck with wanderlust
and I am happy to stay at home
I'm not though
and I plan to wander
just not to space
Ad Astra
to the stars
but I am happy here on Earth
observing them from the ground
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139,382 Literary Works • 672,542 Reviews
Hello, I am here to review the poem. I find the theme of the poem to be lovely and the name to be a fitting one. I loved how you seem to talk about planets in the first stanza with incertitude towards their importance and yet knowing that they do mean something. It's endearing. I wasn't really hyped about stars when I was younger either, I preferred poems and cartoons and unhealthy food. Human curiosity I endless, I believe that is what drives people to find stars and to name them. And of course , as you said, wanderlust I a factor. Travelling has fascinated many people and travelling to other wilds would be the epitome of adventure and an unforgivable one. I'm happy to observe them from the ground too. My favorite stanza was "There is something alluring
about the endlessness
the realization
that maybe we aren't so important
after all
or maybe most of us
are struck with wanderlust
and I am happy to stay at home
I'm not though
and I plan to wander
just not to space " because it talks about the reasons people are enamoured with space.
Thanks for the review!
Hello Shadeflame!
I happened across your poem and I really enjoyed it. I have always had a fascination with space. I love stargazing, I loved learning about the planets in science classes.
It is really cool that you write about the fact that humans fear the idea that we are not more meaningful or important than we are. It is always cool to write about universal fears and wonders. Good job.
The only critique I would say is to maybe add punctuation. It would make it easier to read. Also it is a little confusing that you go back and forth between the fact that the narrator is okay with staying on earth and the narrator wanting to explore. It is contradictory. But if that is what you were going for then cool.
Good job and keep writing!
<3
Well, I was trying to say that the narrator wants to explore places on Earth, but not space. Thank you for the review though, I'm glad you liked my poem.
Hello, Shade, it's been a while!
To begin with, I'd like to say that this poem has managed to convey the sense of wonder one has when looking at the night sky, but also the uneasiness at the thought of being out there, all alone. I just watched The Martian last night, so finding this poem was a pleasant surprise.
That aside, I'm going to give you my thoughts on how it can be improved. Feel free to take whatever you find useful and discard the rest.
The lack of any punctuation wasn't a good idea, in my opinion. While it makes the poem almost dreamy and vague, slightly adding to the image of space, it also confused me several areas where words seemed to spring out of nowhere and I couldn't tell where one meaningful sentence began and another ended.
This was the first part which confused me. I also don't approve of taking one or two words out of a sentence and keeping them on the next line unless there's any actual reason behind it; it just makes the poem look a little silly. So in this stanza, the second and third lines could become one, with a semi colon after "something" and a comma after "does."
*can, not could.*
I loved all the diction in this stanza; words like "alluring", and "wanderlust" have been used well. However, this sentence also lacks punctuation to the point of being a bit confusing, and aggravating. I really don't see why some sentences need to be really long and others have to be extremely short.
There's no real flow in this poem, it kind of meanders to the end without punctuation or arrangement.
Why would you say "to the stars!" and then state you're happy on the ground? I mean, the effect produced is nice, but a little shaky.
Well, that's it!
You did a fantastic job expressing the feelings in your poem, like I said, but I think with punctuation this could become really good otherwise as well. It has plenty of potential, don't get me wrong, and you're a wonderful poet!
If my review was too critical, I'm sorry! Just trying to help.
Good luck, and keep writing.
- Lee
Thank you for the review. Don't worry, you weren't being too critical.
Heyo! I like this poem. I conveys a certain awe and wonder that I (at least) can relate to. I've always kind of been one of those people who's been a bit hyped by space. I like how you put your perspective on it here.
It's sort of a simple poem, but I think in this situation that's okay. Not that's it's bad to have simple poems--sometimes simple poems are better than flowery ones! This poem doesn't have a lot of flowery language, but because of the way you're presenting your idea, this is a good way to do it.
I think I like this poem a lot because of how I can relate to it. I've often been kind of in awe of how small we are compared to the universe. Humans are already so small compared to the planet Earth; think about that in comparison to the size of the universe. I find that pretty awe-inspiring. Which is why I really related with these lines:
I like how you expressed your perspective on this. Simple, kind of short, yet full of ways to show how others can really be in awe of space. I think your poem helped remind me how much I like planets and stars and all the other celestial beauties in our universe. Thanks for that.
Thank you for the review and I'm glad you liked my poem!
Hi @Shadeflame!
VioletFantasy here to review your poem. I think we are on the same page when it comes to space. It’s cool and all, but I don’t plan on becoming an astronaut. This isn’t because I like to stay close to home though as I have already planned a trip to Europe next summer. You mention a lot of things that I can relate to.
“ There is something alluring
about the endlessness
the realization
that maybe we aren't so important
after all
or maybe most of us
are struck with wanderlust
and I am happy to stay at home
I'm not though
and I plan to wander
just not to space”
This stanza is definitely my favorite. It’s crazy to think about how minuscule we are in relation to space. You explain this concept very well and it makes you think.
One thing that I saw that seemed a little out of place was in this line: “ Now that I'm older”.
Throughout the whole poem, you don’t capitalize anything except the “I”s and the first letter of each stanza. However, “Now” isn’t the first word in a stanza. It would help keep the structure of the poem the same if you didn’t capitalize it. I don’t have any comments other than that!
I enjoyed this poem so much! Congrats on doing such a good job!!
Thank you for the review and I'm glad that you liked it! I fixed the word, so it should read better now.