Young Writers Society

Hi, Bullet here to review.

As a fellow runner, and having just recently written a poem about running myself, I really liked this poem . The imagery is really good, especially the bits about the rain and the gravel; it really sets the scene of where you're running.

There's no real flow or rhythm to this piece, though; it just seems to go and go with no real defined balance. As well, the ending feels a bit lacking, as if you just cut yourself off; again, the poem doesn't feel balanced. It feels heavy on the top half, really really great, and then it kind of just tapers off and loses that momentum.

This is a really great piece with lots of potential, but I feel like you finished it prematurely. Try to get more into the details of it, more imagery, more sensations. This is a great start, but it left me wanting more.

Keep running and keep writing,

- BJ.

Greetings, I'm Thorn and I'll be reviewing for you today.

The first thing that made me think was how the words form on the mouth. All of it's very basic with a few syllables being rarely stressed. When syllables are calmer it is preferred by some to keep the stressing to as little as possible as it can affect the overall flow of the poem. I have an example of what I mean by stressed syllables:

the thud of my feet

hitting the gravel

almost skidding out of control

one misplaced step

could be the one that leads

to my fall

living on the edge

I really love simple poems such as these. They contain few words that really carry the moral, plot, story, etc., but somehow make it work without being too... what's the word? Ah, boring. This poem isn't at all boring despite its simplicity in nature.