DUET :Chapter 9:

Maggie has been quieter since the conversation at the lunch table over a week ago. With the date of the memorial approaching, she’s become much more nervous, and whenever she’s with Sammy, the topic of whether or not she’ll perform will come up. She has abandoned Sammy a few times, somehow finding me, whether I be on my way to my room or training with Marcus or Savannah. Marcus seems amused by Maggie’s actions, still a bit bitter towards her since the incident before Maggie left. Savannah on the other hand is becoming annoyed by Maggie’s bipolar emotions. Just yesterday, the last of five situations in which Maggie came to find me, Savannah excused Maggie and herself to the hall. It was then Marcus and I had the displeasure of hearing Savannah basically discipline her. Of course, Maggie argued back, but still, Savannah had the higher word it seemed, and Maggie left without uttering a word to me.

It didn’t stop her from finding me later in the day. As I was turning the corner to exit the Jeweloid Sector, Maggie crossed my path. She looked relieved, as if she had been searching for me. “Isugoro-“ she started.

“What did Sammy say now?” I asked, crossing my arms.

Maggie looked perplexed, but then her face fell, knowing that she had exhausted the conversation. She looks away, her eyes reading that she’s thinking, but it fades when she moves her eyes back up to mine. She looks tired, “. . . I never imagined I’d be scared of singing.”

“I really don’t see why you don’t at least try, Maggie,” I replied honestly, “No one will hate you if things aren’t perfect.”

“I’ll hate myself.”

Her comment caught me off guard, her eyes becoming hard. The blue cooled the yellow to a matte tone, causing the usual fire of her gaze to choke. My brow furrowed, and with that, I spoke against my gut, “I’d like to hear you sing, Maggie.”

Immediately, her eyes widened, her expression shocked. Then, she quickly adverted her eyes, and turned. “That doesn’t help, Isugoro,” she commented, her words annoyed, but her tone something more of hesitance.

I chuckled half-heartedly, “Maybe not, but it is the truth.”

She went a bit more rigid, and commented coldly, “You act as if your opinion is major in the matter.”

For some reason, I’m unphased by her words, and replied, “That doesn’t change the fact that I do. Besides, it’d benefit you in the long run.”

She whipped around, looking perplexed by my words, “How would shattering what’s left of myself help me?”

“If you were to sing at the memorial, you could connect with the other Jeweloids,” I explained, “You’d no longer be the intimidating LAPIS that stays away from everyone. They’d see that you’re just like them. I believe it is better to be loved than feared.”

She stared at, speechless. Then, she chuckled, “You’re turning a memorial into a political advantage, are you mad?”

“Not as mad as you for not taking advantage of it, “Princess of Gelus,” I said, causing her face to fall, “Though I wouldn’t even say it’s political.”

“What then?” Maggie asked, her voice colder.

I grinned warmly, “It shows your humanity. No Jeweloid enjoys the separation of humans and Jeweloids, and you being a Class Zero makes you almost as unapproachable. For you to let yourself be vulnerable, to let them in . . . let them see you’re scared . . . Then you will gain real comrades.”

Maggie watched me for a minute or so, put out a little by my usage of her nickname that has been going around more and more lately. Sammy hadn’t been joking about people calling her the “Princess of Gelus”, they speak of her like she’s the descendent of an ancient kingdom, describing her beauty as that of royalty. I will admit that it did make me uncomfortable when I heard it, but now, I find it rather intriguing. The stories some of the human soldiers have strung together are quite fantastic tales, telling of Maggie’s time in the capital when she attended galas with the Vivrex and high aristocrats, her debates with the Generals of Vesperia and her eloquent ways of manipulating the officials. It’s quite fun to hear, considering that none of it is true.

Though, to my luck, she huffed and walked away, mumbling, “You know nothing.”

I grinned to myself as I continued walking to my room; I’d won.

Now, the day of the memorial, the Jeweloid Sector is alive with activity. Due to the memorial, the Commander has allowed all Jeweloids off work for the day. Banners hang around the cafeteria and down the halls, and some Jeweloids are at work in the kitchens, allowed only once a year to cook ancestral dishes. In the recreational portion of the Sector, the rooms have been set up into dance halls and game areas, music of all backgrounds flowing in and out of the doorways. Maggie is left to investigate with me, as Sammy and the others are all wrapped up in preparing separate activities.

Of course, she was still a bit annoyed considering the previous day’s events, but as soon as we started to explore, Maggie’s entire presence melted into happy curiosity. She pulled me along through the crowded hallways, wanting to see any and everything that was being offered as part of the day. Other Partners were walking around as well, looking at me with a bit of empathy. One of the older ones even came up to me to tell me that all first year Jeweloids act like Maggie on memorial day.

“She seems exceptionally excited, but I guess that’s to be expected,” one of the Partners who joined the first comments, a young man maybe a few years older than me.

“True, Class Zeroes normally don’t participate in Jeweloid activities,” another, a female in maybe her mid-thirties, add, her grin honest, “I’m glad she could join the festivities today.”

“So am I,” I say with a smile.

“Isugoro, Isugoro!” Maggie calls as she breaks through the crowd, “I found Sammy and she’s made Gumbo for today! C’mon, c’mon!”

She takes my forearm, and tries to pull me away from the group rather forcefully, catching me off guard. “M-Maggie?! Hold on a second!” I say, “I’m talking.”

“No, go!” the first Partner says, patting me on the shoulder with a short laugh, “When the lady wants to go, you go. It’s the natural way of things.”

Before I can reply, Maggie pulls at me again, dragging me behind her as she takes me from the group. The last thing I hear is the female chuckling, saying “No wonder those two have been a big topic. They really are a handsome pair.”

With that, her voice was consumed by the hundreds of other voices around us. The statement leaves me a bit perplexed, as I wasn’t aware Maggie and I were being talked about. I had heard some talk of Maggie, but I had never been involved, except for the occasional, and annoying, talk of the Power Processor that still lives on for some reason. But as, as a pair? Never had such words crossed my ears, leaving me at a loss. Though, Maggie soon pulled me from my thoughts, releasing my arm then taking firm hold of my hand, so not to lose me in the dense crowd.

I glance down at our interlocked hands, and am flustered by the sight. To everyone else, it may simply be an act to keep Maggie and I together, but in the larger scheme of things, it leads to other interpretations. I loosen my grip a bit, hoping I may be able to just slide my hand out, but it’s in vain. Almost instinctively, Maggie’s hold tightens, making up for my lazy grip by doubling her own. She looks over her shoulder at me moments after, her expression that of slight concern.

Once we round the corner into a less congested hall, she stops us, turning towards me with a questioning countenance. “What’s wrong?” she asks.

“Nothing, now, what were you going on about?” I reply, trying to move on to a different topic.

She watches me a moment longer, then sighs, picking up that the topic isn’t worth investigation. “Sammy is helping with the cooking, and she’s making Gumbo!” Maggie says, her aura brightening immediately, “We need to go have some, it tastes amazing!”

I laugh as she again pulls on my sleeve, leading me down the hall back towards the cafeteria. Upon entering, I smell countless styles of food. It’s as if the many cultures of the world have been placed in one room, enticing our tastes buds as we look on at the numerous stalls. Looking around, I finally spot Sammy, overloaded with multiple customers. I nudge Maggie, gesturing over to her, “Found her.”

Maggie smiles, then takes my hand and pulls me around to the opposite side of the stall. Some Jeweloids in line send us a glare, not fond of us cheating, but Maggie seems completely oblivious as she’s locked on Sammy. After a moment, Sammy turns and sees us, her smile brightening. She says something to the other Jeweloid helping, before she gestures over to us to come back. Once we step in, the spices of the food hit my nose, surprising me by their color and intensity. Sammy seems to notice my reaction, and laughs, patting me on the back, “Goro, you look like you just got punched by the smell in here.”

“It smells really good, what is it?” I ask.

“Good ol’ Southern cooking,” Sammy says with a wink, before she turns and grabs two bowls filled with a steaming mixture of some kind. Maggie’s eyes twinkle with excitement as she takes the bowl, apparently one that has tried it before. I, on the other hand . . . am a bit more hesitant. I take the spoon she hands me along with the food, and stir the concoction, trying to figure out what exactly is in it. After a minute or so, Sammy groans, and takes the bowl and spoon from me, before digging out a big spoonful and holding it out to me. “Try it,” she instructs.

I blink in surprise, though Sammy isn’t stopping, holding it closer. I sigh, then take it, cautiously taking the bite from the spoon. As soon as it enters my mouth, I’m shocked by the amazing combination of rich taste. Without thinking, I take the bowl back from Sammy and take another bite, again, filled with the greatness of whatever this is. “Holy shit, this is amazing,” I say in between bites.

Sammy and Maggie laugh. “Well, it seems we’ve got a gumbo lover,” Sammy comments.

“Yeah, I’ve missed your cooking, Sammy,” Maggie replies as she scoops up what’s left of her own, “Hasn’t changed a bit.”

Sammy grins, “I’m glad you like it, Hon.”

Maggie smiles and continues to eat, as do I. Though, when I look back at Sammy, she looks a bit unsure about something, making me curious. I swallow before I speak, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

She looks up at me, her brow furrowing slightly before she looks back to Maggie. “So . . .” Sammy trails, “Did you make a decision . . . about the open mic?”

Maggie goes still, obviously not expecting to have yet another conversation about whether or not she’d sing. Though, to both Sammy and my surprise, she quickly relaxes, meeting Sammy’s gaze. “. . . I’ll do it,” Maggie says finally.

Sammy gasps, and my eyes widen. Sammy grabs her hands as Maggie puts down her bowl and jumps a little, apparently excited. “Y-You will?” Sammy says, “You’ll actually sing?!”

Maggie sighs, “Yes, I will. You and the ass beside me talked me into it.”

Knowing she’s referring to me, I grin, then take another bite of my gumbo. After another minute or so of Maggie and Sammy speaking about the details, Sammy tells us to go ahead to the music hall to let them know that Maggie plans on performing.

We leave, though as we walk away from Sammy, it’s easy to tell from Maggie’s face that she’s still very worried. As we turn down the corner towards the music hall, Maggie’s steps falter, and she comes to a stop. I pause soon after, looking after her to see her eyeing the floor. I deflate a bit, then step back to her. She meets my eyes after a moment, her eyes reading her fear, “Do you really think this is going to go well Isugoro?”

I nod, “I don’t see any reason besides your own fear that could hold you back.”

She falls quiet, pondering as she looks back down at her hands. Then, to my surprise, she laughs. I raise an eyebrow, and bend over so I can look her in the face. Though, instead of a content expression, she looks a bit off, tears forming at the rims of her eyes despite a wide smile. “Dear Lord, I haven’t even thought of anything to sing . . .” she laughs to herself, “I’m going to make a fool of myself-“

“Stop.”

Her eyes widen, meeting mine. She looks confused to see me so close, but I ignore it as I speak, “This is a memorial for your family, right? Sing something your family would love to hear.” She looks speechless, her stare swimming as she tries to put together a thought in response. I sigh, then take her hands firmly in mine. “Sammy and I will be right there if you need someone to watch, I’ve heard that that can help when you’re scared,” I say, catching her off guard, “You can do this, ok?”

It’s as if a lightbulb went off in her mind, because it’s only seconds later that she nods, breaks my hold and walks past me into the room. I follow soon after to find Maggie speaking with the organizer of the open mic portion, a Jeweloid named Katie. Her emerald eyes light up when Maggie says she wants to be a part of the event, and quickly, she hands her a paper so to give instructions to the MC on what to say. When it comes to naming a song, Maggie halts, her brow furrowing slightly as she thinks. Though, it’s a moment or so later that she seems to catch an idea, and quickly writes it down. Katie looks over it, and smiles, apparently approving of Maggie’s choice.

After, well, is a bit of a blur. To keep herself distracted, Maggie drags me to almost every other activity room open. I enjoy watching her as she laughs with other Jeweloids, comfortable as she makes new friends. Some are a bit wary at first, but like all the others before, they eventually realize Maggie is an ordinary person. I grin.

I’m glad she’s happy.

Then, about a half hour before open mic opens, Maggie and I come to the final room; the dance hall. It seems we’re both a bit hesitant to enter, Maggie peering in to see that at the moment, they’re dancing ballroom, swing specifically. She looks uncomfortable, and I try to lighten things, “Want to skip this?”

She looks back at me, “Are you sure that’s ok?”

I chuckle, “Yes, we don’t have to do something you don’t want to do.”

She turns back to gaze in one last time, before she shakes her head and leaves the door, “No, I’m not interested.”

I breathe a sigh of relief as I follow. I didn’t want to have to deal with that, thank you God.

Before long, it’s time for open mic to start. It seems that this event is the most popular, considering that the Jeweloids got permission to use the auditorium. I’m surprised to see so many Jeweloids lining the rows of seats, chatting and laughing. Maggie and I are shown into a box near the front of the stage, gaining the more private seats with Maggie’s status, although she requests that Sammy and Savannah be sat with us. Just as the lights go down, Marcus and Savannah appear, taking the seats right behind Maggie and I. Maggie almost starts into a charade about Marcus, but I quickly tell her that if Savannah comes, especially when both are free, Marcus will surely follow. She huffs, but says nothing more about it.

The show begins. One after another, Jeweloids come onto the beautifully decorated stage, dressed with ribbons and flowers, to sing a song. As we watch, it becomes clear that with each performance is also a look into that Jeweloid’s family. It seems the stage has a scanner on a floor, reading the Jeweloid and then transferring the memory of their family into holographs on either side of them. Savannah leans forward, whispering to both of us, “This is the emotional part. Many Jeweloids don’t have pictures of their loved ones, so it’s only during memorial that they get to see images of their families again.”

Maggie swallows hard, and I can sense the air going still. After, Maggie is as tense as a rock. She gets a bit better when Sammy appears from the darkness, but it’s hardly noticeable. She taps her foot due to nerves, her eyes searching the space as if she wanted to escape. Considering that no one can see, I secretly interlock my fingers with hers, grabbing her attention from her web of anxiety. I lean over and whisper in her ear, “We’re right here, ok? Everything’s going to be alright.”

Her hand relaxes, and she nods shortly, her cheeks flushing a bit as she turns her head away. Although she appears like she doesn’t want to be associated with me by her body language, her hand holds firm onto mine despite us not speaking.

Then, an attendant appears to take Maggie backstage. Instantly, her gentle grip tightens on me, and her breathing gets rougher. Again, I lean over, whispering, “You can do this.”

Her shoulders fall some, and she looks at Sammy, who looks just as supportive as I am. She hugs Maggie some as she speaks, “Show them just how amazing you are.”

With that, her hand slowly releases mine and she stands, walking away with the attendant. Sammy scoots over to take Maggie’s seat beside me, her eyebrow raised. “You sure are magic, aren’t you?”

I blink, “Huh?”

She chuckles, “Maggie is one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met, used to be first.”

“Who’s first now?” I ask.

She grins, “You. You’ve tamed Maggie better than anyone I’ve ever seen.”

“I think that’s going a bit far,” I reply, “I mean, she has her own mind-“

“Yes, but you’re the first person that has successfully convinced to do something she was so scared of,” Sammy replies.

“You were part of it,” I comment.

Sammy shakes her head, “That’s what she wants you to think. Tell me, did you tell her that you wanted to hear her sing?”

My eyes widen, surprised to hear her ask such a question. “Um, yes-“ I start.

“That in itself changed her mind,” Sammy says, “She wants to impress you.”

“What?” I breath, “But, she-“

“She what?” Sammy interrupts.

I don’t say anything, my words caught.

“You act as if your opinion is major in the matter.”

My brow furrows a bit. She got very irritated when I said I wanted to hear her sing . . . but Sammy claims it changed her mind.

That doesn’t make sense.

“Ladies and Gentleman, what do you think so far?” The MC, Katie, calls from center stage, catching my attention. The audience roars, clapping and shouting nonsense. Katie laughs, before she brings the mic back to her lips, “Well, I’m glad you think so! Now then, to end our night, we have a special performance. Our last participant is the newest member of the Jeweloid Sector, as well as the strongest, Class Zero LAPIS!”

A mixed response comes from the crowd, but to my happy surprised, the majority is positive, clapping and hollering. Katie smiles, “Miss LAPIS will be singing the song “I’ll Stand by You”, a favorite of her family. Enjoy!”

As the rest of the crowd claps, Sammy nudges me. I look over, and tears seem ready to stream down her face, catching me off guard. “Sam-“ I start.

“That’s her sister’s favorite song!” Sammy says, her voice a bit weak due to emotion, “She sang it whenever she was upset . . . Her favorite song. . . .”

I look back at the stage as clapping ensues, seeing Maggie walking down stage to the standing mic. I smile and clap with Sammy. Maggie’s eyes trace the audience, stopping as she finds our box, and she sneaks a grin. Her eyes fall, and she takes a deep breath as the music begins, the stage lighting as it starts to scan her.

Then, she opens her mouth.

My mouth falls a bit as her voice hits me. It’s a beautiful tone, one that I swear I’ve heard before. Sammy grips the seat tightly as Maggie’s voice floats beautifully over the words, her melody intoxicating to the ears as she fastens with the music. The audience is quiet, in awe. Though, I’m caught from the vision as the holographs start to form. Like the others, the first to appear seem to be Maggie’s parents, father on the left, mother on the right. Maggie looks surprised for a moment to see her parents, but turns her attention back to the front, probably to keep from becoming too emotional. I grin.

Maggie looks very much like her mother, sharing petite stature and facial features. Her father on the other hand shares her pale complexion, and something about the intensity in his eyes reminds me of her. Though, I will say that he is definitely more intimidating at first glance, for some reason making me a bit on edge. Sammy seems to notice, and chuckles, “She was Daddy’s little princess. He would’ve loved to meet you.”

I don’t respond.

As Maggie goes into the first chorus, her parents vanish, replaced by two new people. On the left stands a young man, maybe two years younger than me, with dark brown hair and a larger stature like Maggie’s father, looking like him in the face. On the right stands a teenage girl, probably fourteen-fifteen, looking very similar to Maggie, except her face is a bit thinner, and her hair a dirty blonde. Sammy leans over again, “That’s her older brother, Charlie, and her little sister by two years, Sarah.”

“This song was her favorite?” I ask.

Sammy shakes her head, “No, her other sister.”

I turn my head as Maggie sings the second verse, the two visions of her siblings vanishing, two more appearing. At first I’m a bit confused, as on either side of her are the same boy, looking about the age of twelve. Sammy sees my confusion. “They’re twins,” Sammy explains, “On the left is Dawn, and on the right is Shawn. You can tell by their eye colors.”

I blink, unsure how Sammy could differentiate their eye colors from so far away, but then again, maybe it has to do with her Jeweloid abilities. Maggie is smiling as she sings, her voice strong as she hits the wide spectrum of notes going into the bridge. As the song builds, the twins vanish, and suddenly, Sammy’s expression becomes concern. I look between her and Maggie, before I lean over. “What is it?-“ I start.

“Maggie.”

Everyone is caught off guard when they hear a little girl’s voice. The music halts, as does Maggie’s voice. I look back at the stage to see what has happened, and to my shock, standing as a hologram beside her . . . is a little girl, no older than five or six. She’s an adorable child, with a tanned complexion and big warm brown eyes, offsetting her lighter brown hair. As if she was truly alive, she looks around the audience, then up at Maggie. My eyes glance back to Maggie, widening as I see her look completely drained of life, her face paled and her eyes big at the sight of the girl. Beside me, I hear Sammy struggling to breathe normally, before whispering in sync with Maggie on stage. . .

“Alice.”

A bright smile forms on the girl’s face in response to the name, saying, “Maggie, can we go to the lake before you leave? Pleeeeeeease?”

Without warning, the stage’s hologram systems begin to go crazy, the digital background flashing crazily. Maggie cringes some, gripping her head as the hologram of Alice shakes. Immediately, I stand, but for some stupid reason, Sammy pulls me back into my seat. I pull away, looking her in the face. “What the hell is wrong with you?!-“ I start.

“Stop! You don’t understand what’s happening!” Sammy shouts.

“Alice, it’s still partially frozen, it’s dangerous.”

Everyone goes strangely quiet, Maggie’s voice speaking through the holograms. I look back, Maggie stock still as she looks at the digital background to see it playing back something like a home video, but from Maggie’s point of view. The little girl, Alice, is pulling on her arm, her mother standing in the background with a puppy in her arms. The image jerks, then sets back to normal with a new setting, a snowy mountain scape, a frozen lake leading into a bay before her and the girl, who holds the puppy by a leash. Maggie’s mother and other sister, Sarah, stand nearby, laughing as Maggie plays with the little girl. Without warning, the little girl loses grip of the puppy, and in its young spirits, I starts running all over the place. A bit more serious, the four shown race after the young animal, trying to catch it before it finds its way onto the ice.

Of course, it does. Ignorant of the dangers, the puppy runs out onto the icy terrain, slipping some before it comes to a halt. Maggie’s mother has stopped her and the siblings, turning and looking at Maggie with an annoyed expression. “Let’s get another dog,” says your father, “It’ll be fun!” her mother mumbles.

Maggie laughs, “Oh, puppies are puppies, they learn with time.”

“Still, I now have to get a rope and all that stuff to retrieve the idiot,” her mother replies.

“MOM! MAGGIE!”

Another voice, I’m guessing which belongs to Sarah, screams, causing Maggie’s view to turn back to the lake.

And the little girl who’s running out to fetch the dog on the ice.

Instantly, a sinking feeling consumes me as Maggie’s shrill voice rings out over the video, “A-ALICE! Come back here now!”

“Sarah, go get the boys and your father! Now!” her mother yells. Sarah nods quickly, and sprints up a path into a treeline.

“No, I’ve got Timber!” the little girl replies, still skipping as she looks back at Maggie. Tension builds as she goes out further, Maggie and her mother sharing scared looks as they watch helplessly. She makes it the puppy with a bit of sliding, taking the leash, before she turns back, holding the handle with pride written on her face. “See? I did it!” she calls.

“Alice, don’t move a muscle, got that?!” Maggie calls, stepping cautiously onto the edge of the iced over lake, “I swear to God, you’re gonna pay for my heart attack!”

Alice huffs, “I got Timber, don’t be a meanie!”

Then, the puppy jumps to lick at Alice’s face, and there’s a disturbing cracking noise. Maggie’s mother gasps, as does Maggie as Alice’s face goes blank, then fearful. “M-Maggie-“ Alice starts.

CRACK

The ice cracks louder, causing the puppy to begin to lash around in panic. Alice does her best to keep him still, but her youthful strength is in vain, as the dog pulls from her, causing the breaking to worsen.

Then, in a strange perspective, the world goes strangely mute, and we call can do nothing but watch as Maggie seems to sprint as the ice breaks way around Alice. The puppy pulls out of her hold and runs past Maggie back to the shoreline. Alice falls a bit, unable to run fast enough that she could possibly escape falling into the frigid water.

It’s a blur-

“M-Maggie!”

“Alice, come here!”

Maggie’s vision glances to see the ice falling in. Someone is going to go into the water. Without warning, her pace quickens to a spring, and with all her strength, as the ice gives way beneath the little girl’s feet, Maggie’s arms reach, take the girl under the arms, and with all her strength, throws her closer to the shoreline.

Then nothing is underneath her.

“Ack!-“

“MAGGIE!-“

A sharp splash of water consumes the sound systems, and the video goes murky, grey.

Then black.

The auditorium is eerily silent. Tears are falling down Sammy’s face, Marcus is stunned, as is Savannah. I don’t know what to do. The systems return to normal, leaving Maggie dressed in a spotlight as she stands still, facing the screen. Then, without warning, she drops the mic, allowing the strange piercing noises to distract the audience as she runs fast off stage.

I break into a sprint out of the box, followed close by Sammy, Marcus and Savannah bringing up the rear behind us. I round the corner at great speed, trying to recall how to get to where Kasami took me for the introduction as I run. Without warning, I impact something, sending me to the ground along with the other person.

“W-What the hell?!”

I recognize the voice instantly.

Cent.

We meet eyes for only a second before I’m back up and running. He calls my name, sounding worried, though he’s drowned out by my own concern. I hear less footsteps behind me, telling me someone stopped. Who, I’m not sure.

At the moment, I don’t care.

Then, I hear quick running coming from the hall ahead of me.

Maggie.

I pick up the pace, and to my luck, I make it right as she starts to run out. I wrap my arms around her, halting her instantly as we both fall to the floor with a sharp thud. She basically crumbles into me, starting to sob instantly. She doesn’t even adjust herself in my arms, too mentally destroyed to notice. My brow furrows. I can’t help but feel some kind of empathy for her as I hold her tightly, pulling her up a bit so her head rests on my shoulder. She wails loudly, catching the attention of those who’re exiting the auditorium down the way. None try to investigate except for two; Anna, and the MC, Katie. Sammy pushes past them, joining my side. Tears are still falling down her cheeks as she strokes Maggie’s head, her face pained. Marcus and Savannah stand nearby, Savannah holding onto Anna as Katie tries to question Marcus to see if he knows anything, showing that the two apparently know each other.

I shush her as her cries occasionally grow, nuzzling her gently. She responds with quieter whimpering, hiding her face in the crook of my neck. I meet Sammy’s eyes, and she grimaces, mouthing, “Thank you.”

“Where is Miss LAPIS?”

All of us except Maggie go still, holding our breath as all turn to see none other than the Commander himself standing behind the small group. All Jeweloids bow their heads, making a pathway so that the Commander may walk up to Maggie, Sammy and I. Sammy bows slightly, then quickly stands and joins Savannah and Anna, her face blank. I simply stay quiet as the Commander kneels in front of me, his eyes focused on Maggie, who’s still so consumed in her grief that she still hasn’t picked up that the Commander is right in front of her. He glances up at me, someone he hasn’t seen one on one since our . . . odd conversation before I went to the Detention Sector.

He makes a look at me to signal I leave Maggie. For the first time, I send back a strong gaze, relaying I’m not moving. His brow furrows a bit in annoyance, but he says nothing as his eyes move to Maggie, his expression attempting to look comforting, “Miss LAPIS? Can you hear me?”

Maggie jerks slightly, turning a bit so she can see the Commander. Tears still fall in streams down her face as her eyes widen, and immediately she grips tight to my jacket. I can sense she’s already far over the edge, anything more may break her. I instantly adjust, ever so slightly so that Maggie is closer to my chest and that my arms full encase her. My actions calm her some, but the Commander does not look pleased, sending me a menacing look. I’m unphased.

The Commander returns his attention to Maggie. “My dear, I’m very sorry that something like that happened, it appears something in the scanner malfunctioned,” he says with a strange calming tone, “Please accept my deepest condolences.”

Maggie nods, unable to speak. The Commander smiles at her kindly. “You have a beautiful voice my dear,” he says, before his eyes trail up to meet mine. Unseen by Maggie, his expression changes, harder and more intimidating. He grins, speaking, “I hope I get the opportunity to hear you again soon.”

His eyes read a completely different message to me, saying simply, “Watch yourself boy.”

With that, he stands, taking his cap from where he holds it at his side and adjusts it on his head as he turns and walks off. As soon as he’s gone, the Jeweloids relax, Sammy fast to rejoin my side as she stares at me in disbelief. “Are you daft?!” she says, “You did you defy him?”

“He was trying to separate me from her,” I reply honestly.

In response to my words, Maggie pulls herself closer to me. Sammy looks troubled as she watches, then meets my gaze. “You can’t hold her from the slightest discomfort,” Sammy comments.

“I know that,” I reply, “But that man isn’t going to do anything to her if I’m not there. I won’t allow it.”

Sammy and the others look shocked, and unknown to me, Maggie blushes. I look back down the hall where the Commander disappeared, and my eyes narrow. I know there isn’t any real evidence to convince me that the Commander would do anything, but still . . . just the way he eyes her makes alarms go off in my head. I don’t care if he’s the highest official here. I won’t allow him to do anything to her.

Count on it.

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User avatar
LittleFox
Review

Hey there! me again.

This was a pretty well-balanced chapter again and here I am with no nit picks. A run through could edit could always improve the flow and grammar, but that goes for any work.

I admit I was really nervous that this was going to be a filler that didn't advance the plot and simply had Maggie overcome her little stage fright. I was very glad to see that I was wrong and you revealed some new things about Maggie by doing this as well as bringing in some tension and foreshadowing with the Commander.

I'm sorry my reviews are so short lol
Keep on writing!
LittleFox

User avatar
Holysocks
Review

Hey there!

I haven't read previous chapters so I may come off as very confused, but I'll do my best nonetheless! Another quick note: This chapter is a bit long (5700 words to be semi-exact)- long is good! But it also takes a long time to read and is hard to meet all points that you want to mention about said chapter. YWS is sorta designed so that things can get reviewed, and in the process it can be hard to read the works for long periods of times. You've got no way of saving your spot, your eyes get tired, you forget what you were going to say in your review, etc. So this is just a tip, but works tend to get more attention if they're in the 1000 - 2000 range. You'll also have more thorough reviews on your works, as people that have less time to read and review works can spend more time on the reviewing part. Still, it's up to you! And you're not exactly new so you might find this a bit annoying of me saying, which I'm sorry about! :P

“Not as mad as you for not taking advantage of it, “Princess of Gelus,”


This might have been an accident but I feel like you were trying to put emphasis on "Princess of Gelus", which is fine of course but you use a quotation mark inside a bit of dialogue, and then it's at the end of said dialogue and instead of using another quotation mark (which honestly, I understand your dilemma) you simply borrow the quotation mark from the end of the dialogue. I don't like this mainly because it's confusing. I found myself lost for a minute, trying to figure out if it was the end of the dialogue or simply the emphasis. I'd suggest using something like apostrophes, or you might be able to figure something out with italics as well. Just a suggestion though!

She takes my forearm, and tries to pull me away from the group rather forcefully


Forcefully? How forcefully? Does he/she stumble forward from the force? Does he/she trip over their feet as they try to right themselves? I'd like to know! Show us a little more what happens- that's the main thing I wanted to mention in this. Give us a little more. Don't simply say that it had a lot of force to it, show us why your MC found it forceful.

I don't have a lot to go by since I've only read this chapter- plot wise, I mean. I'll be honest; I have no idea what's going on. But I feel like you have a good grasp of what's going on and where your story is going, and that makes me happy. I think it makes me happy because currently I have no idea where my story is going so I feel glad that at least you do... not sure why. :P Anyway, I wish you all the best with your writing and I hope you write more of this!

-Socks

Lol I'd suggest reading the first book first.
Yes, DUET is the second book in a book series I'm trying to published (which is why the chapters are as long as they are, the first book is 362 pages altogether). The first is called LAPIS, and I recommend you read it if you liked this.
I will comment that the way I wrote the "" part was actually how my English Prof told me to because I did see that it was weird. I honestly don't know XD

Thanks for the review!

User avatar
tigeraye
Review

Hello

To start, I'd like to bring up the subject of characterization. Right off the bat, I felt that you developed a strong emotional connection with your characters. I feel that it tends to shine through a piece of writing just how well you know your characters, in answering the question "Are your characters well established or do you make them up as you go?" For you, I feel as it'd be the former; the interpersonal sense of narration you give to your characters goes a long ways to telling us how well you know them.

The sense of friendship between your characters is rather heart warming. The way they relate to each other, the way they generally interact with each other, and their overall emotions and feelings tend to come to life in one way that's very charming and rather entertaining.

But I'd like to see if you can make your characters come to life even more. The main character (apologizes, but I'm not sure if I caught their name) is rather bland, to put it bluntly. Her dialogue is a bit robotic, maybe that's just her personality, though. Because Sammy doesn't have that problem; in fact, I'd say that's my favorite character because of it. She has this certain energy and emotion that these other characters lack.

All three of the main characters have their own differing personalities, but oddly, it doesn't strike out. Maggie is more serious and shy, while the main character is confident, yet also serious. Meanwhile Sammy is boisterous and energetic. But, it's hard to notice this unless you really pay attention. That's why I'd like to see if you can be more vivid with your characters.

Another thing you can do is describe the location and settings more thoroughly. You give a good amount of detail in regards to actual actions and expressions (I'll get into that a bit more later on), but in regards to where we're at, the locations seem a bit vague. At one point, I assumed Maggie was going on stage to sing, but then the main character was right there behind her. So, as to just where they are is a bit confusing. There was another point where they were at a lunch room, then it just jumped somewhere else. I think you're capable of it, at one point it really shined through, which again, I'll point out later.

You tended to give an absurd amount of detail, almost after every bit of dialogue. Some of this is great, because it really goes to show that you know exactly how each character is thinking at the time, but some of it also distracts from the story. So I'd focus a bit more on determining what emotions you need, and what emotions you don't, and to be more concise with your writing.

Plot-wise, I was a bit lost, but what I got was that this girl was headed on state to perform, and the main character was convincing her why she wanted to do so. Which I found a bit strange, and I wouldn't consider this a suggestion more so because I don't know how much it would alter the rest of your plot, but I'd imagine a stronger story would be the main character being the one to go sing. And the friends are the one convincing them to do so despite their nerves. I think that would leave a lot more room for a strong, emotional outreach. I just feel it came off as a bit...backwards.

Finally, the lack of grammar and spelling mistakes meant there were few distractions from the reading itself, and it also shows that you put in a ton of work to proofreading this. So, nice job ^^

Things:

Maggie has been quieter since the conversation at the lunch table over a week ago. With the date of the memorial approaching, she’s become much more nervous, and whenever she’s with Sammy, the topic of whether or not she’ll perform will come up. She has abandoned Sammy a few times, somehow finding me, whether I be on my way to my room or training with Marcus or Savannah. Marcus seems amused by Maggie’s actions, still a bit bitter towards her since the incident before Maggie left. Savannah on the other hand is becoming annoyed by Maggie’s bipolar emotions. Just yesterday, the last of five situations in which Maggie came to find me, Savannah excused Maggie and herself to the hall. It was then Marcus and I had the displeasure of hearing Savannah basically discipline her. Of course, Maggie argued back, but still, Savannah had the higher word it seemed, and Maggie left without uttering a word to me.


This beginning is eyecatching in a way that I'm not sure how. But you set up the plot for the rest of he chapter quite nicely. I already got into how I think the main character being the one performing makes more sense. There's nothing I would really change, except you could split the paragraph between "bipolar emotions" and "Just yesterday". I think that would let your story breathe quite nicely.

Her comment caught me off guard, her eyes becoming hard. The blue cooled the yellow to a matte tone, causing the usual fire of her gaze to choke. My brow furrowed, and with that, I spoke against my gut, “I’d like to hear you sing, Maggie.”


Although you could once again add a bit more emotion to the main character, I enjoy this paragraph, you have a nice way of conveying the feelings that the characters are going through. It's vivid, imaginative, and very creative, well done.

Everyone goes strangely quiet, Maggie’s voice speaking through the holograms. I look back, Maggie stock still as she looks at the digital background to see it playing back something like a home video, but from Maggie’s point of view. The little girl, Alice, is pulling on her arm, her mother standing in the background with a puppy in her arms. The image jerks, then sets back to normal with a new setting, a snowy mountain scape, a frozen lake leading into a bay before her and the girl, who holds the puppy by a leash. Maggie’s mother and other sister, Sarah, stand nearby, laughing as Maggie plays with the little girl. Without warning, the little girl loses grip of the puppy, and in its young spirits, I starts running all over the place. A bit more serious, the four shown race after the young animal, trying to catch it before it finds its way onto the ice.


This was the description I was talking about that I'd like to see more. It's very riveting and detailed to a fine point where it gives us this strong, immersive image. There are a ton of other parts where it's a bit hard to envision just what's going on, but this one leaves the reader with a perfect visual.

That about covers it, overall I found this moderately entertaining. good job ^^

The main character is male XDDD

His name is Isugoro Jintez. You're the first to call him bland tbh, it's a bit humbling to see someone wanting more from him. As for your timing in the plotline, yeah I can see how Maggie can come off as bland or shy, but I'd suggest reading from the beginning. It's hard to get a full reading of any of the characters when you randomly enter a story. Like for instance, there are actually 4 mains, but one of them isn't in this chapter.

And you're reading a sequel (DUET is book 2 in a series), the first book is up on here too, it's called LAPIS.
I hope I get to see more reviews soon, thanks for the comment ^^

ah, dw about that, I'm horrible with discerning between genders online



The only distinction that makes one a hero is constantly fighting back your villain arc.
— RangerofIthilien