z

Young Writers Society



DUET :Chapter 12:

by SereneSimpliciT


“Good to see you, Isugoro,” Kasami says as I walk off of the craft, walking with me as I continue forward.

“Good to be back, I suppose,” I answer as we exit the main hanger space, “Have I gotten clearance to go down yet?”

“You’re in luck, the request was accepted about five minutes ago. The officers down there don’t seem to understand why we’re coming so late,” Kasami replies as he reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a familiar key card, “Here, this will get you down there.”

My eyes widen in surprise as he hands it to me, “You’re not coming?”

“Well, I suppose I could if you’d like,” Kasami says with a chuckle, “I just thought you’d like your privacy with her.”

I don’t answer quickly. Oh yeah, Maggie and I left on bad terms, I had completely forgotten about that in the rush to get back to Gelus. As soon as we made contact with Kasami, they ordered a craft take flight within an hour to get me back here as soon as possible. That was about four hours ago. I glance at a clock on the wall; 10:43 p.m.

Oh joy, past curfew for the Detention Sector. This should be interesting.

Kasami looks over at me, then smiles, “Isugoro, would you like to stop by your room first?”

I’m perplexed by his words, glancing at him, “Why would I do that?”

Kasami laughs, “Son, you’re still in your dress uniform.”

“Oh,” I say, looking down to see he’s right. I had been in such a hurry to get my things together, I didn’t even think to change. I sigh, and shrug, “Nah, I’m comfortable enough.”

Kasami grins, “If you say so.”

“Kasami,” I start.

“Yes?” he replies.

I pause, realizing that I don’t have a very adequate way to ask my question. I ponder the thought a moment, then decide just to speak normally. “Does the Commander know I’m back?” I ask.

“No, he has already gone to bed for the night apparently,” Kasami replies, “He will be informed tomorrow. I also already made plans as Swami directed to make sure you’d be present at his meeting tomorrow with LAPIS.”

“Good.”

I can tell by the expression on his face that Kasami is concerned. He looks back down the hall as we turn down the private hall that leads to the elevator, his face heavier. Then, he falls a bit, “Isugoro, do you believe that the Commander really is planning something like Swami suggested?”

“I can’t say for certain,” I reply honestly, “I’ve always gotten a weird vibe from him, but I’ve always been told that my instincts are unreliable.”

Kasami doesn’t respond quickly, organizing his thoughts. Then he replies, “What have your instincts told you about him in relation to her?”

“Keep him away,” I say, my brow falling.

“Ah,” Kasami responds.

With that, our conversation ends as we reach the elevator. Like I’ve experienced before, upon entering the cabin, I swipe down the card, allowing us to make our way down to the Detention Sector. Before the doors open, Kasami says to me, “You know what happened, don’t you?”

“Yup,” I answer plainly.

“Plan on making up with her?” he asks.

“That’s the idea,” I say as the doors open, revealing the booking area. As we step out, a familiar officer walks up to us, his eyes reading his surprise as he registers who I am. “Sir,” I say.

“My God, are you really the same person from all those months ago?” he asks through his Veteres accent, “You’ve gotten bigger.”

I chuckle, “Yes, it’s me.”

“Well then, you left a bit scruffy, but you’ve cleaned up quite nicely,” he says with a grin, “So you’re here-“

“Can you take me to where LAPIS is being contained?” I ask.

He looks surprised, “You’re here for the Princess?”

“Yes, he’s her Partner,” Kasami explains, holding out a paper, “He’s received clearance to meet with her.”

The officer takes it, his eyes bulging as he reads the document. Then, he looks back at me, “Well, I had heard you were connected to her, but I thought they were rumors.”

“No, Sir,” I reply, “May I see her?”

“Oh, yes, yes, just give me a moment to open the back doors-“ he starts.

“No, I’ll go the normal way,” I interrupt, “It’s faster that way.”

He looks surprised, “You want to go through?”

A laugh escapes my lips as I comment, “I mean, I was in here too, I don’t see why it should bother me.”

The officer looks puzzled, but shrugs, “Your choice.”

With that, Kasami chuckles as the officer walks around the desk and presses some buttons into a machine. A loud crank noise sounds, and the nearby door opens, leading to the waiting area with the strange lights. I grin to myself, feeling a bit nostalgic as I hear the officer walking around to open the other side. I hear other voices, probably detainees wondering who’s come so late. My thoughts halt as the door in opens, and Kasami and I walk inside. The sight of us inspires whispers among those in the shadows, muttered too soft for me to make sense of most of them. Then I hear one, “So he’s back?”

“Why is that guy back?”

“Wait, isn’t he a Partner now?”

“He looks tougher now.”

“Heh, looks like the Knight is here to get the Princess.”

I say nothing. I follow the officer easily through the darker halls, looking back occasionally to check on Kasami, who appears to be having more issues. As we make our way deeper in, I begin to realize I know this pathway a little too well. Then, I make a realization. “No way,” I say with a small grin.

“What is it, Isugoro?” Kasami asks.

I chuckle, looking over my shoulder at him, “This was my group cell.”

Kasami looks surprised as we come to a halt in front of the familiar door. The officer unlock it with a loud clank, and inside I hear a familiar aggravated voice. “What the hell, man?”

I smile. Eriks.

“Sir, let me go in with Kasami alone,” I request as the officer flips on the lights, which in turn calls out annoyed sounds from the inside. The officer looks a bit hesitant at first, then he nods. I grin at him, then open the door. “Kasami, let’s go say hi,” I say.

“Alright,” he chuckles, following me.

“Sir, why did you turn on the lights? Has something happened?”

My heart picks up as I recognize the voice.

“Mally. . . .” I trail.

With that, we walk around the cork hallway, opening up to the cell. As soon as I come into view, the familiar faces break into shock. The first person I see is Mally. She drops the book in her hand. She had probably gotten that nightlight she wanted so she could read before she went to bed. I smile, “Long time no see.”

As soon as I speak, Mally breaks, tears falling from her eyes as she laughs. She runs towards me with open arms as I walk towards her, “Goro, you foolish boy!” She basically jumps on me, causing me to laugh hard as I wrap my arms around her, lifting her off the ground. She pulls herself up so her head rest against my neck, one her hands gently stroking my hair. She continues to chuckle as I set her back down. “Oh dear, why do you always have to make such an entrance?” she asks, her voice muffled as she’s still pressed against me.

I chuckle, “Sorry Ma’am.”

“Isugoro.”

My eyes widen, and I stand up straight to see Maggie staring at me, standing in the doorway of the private cell which I recognize as mine. Her hair is down, longer than normal as it reaches to her knees. Her expression is surprise, her cheeks slightly flush. Mally loosens her hold, staring up at me as I watch Maggie. Then, Mally smiles, “Ah, I see.”

She looks over at Maggie too, and giggles, “He’s here for you, Honey.”

Maggie looks a bit perplexed, but says nothing as she walks out of her cell, past Eriks (who honestly just looks really confused) and right towards us. Mally steps away from me, and before long, Maggie is standing directly in front of me, her arms crossed. She looks over me with an interesting expression, her face still red despite her lowered brow. Then, she looks at the ground, finally speaking again, “I thought you were going to be gone for at least ten more days.”

“I was supposed to,” I say with a grimace, “Then I got a tip from Sammy.”

“Seriously, she contacted you?” Maggie says, looking up at me with annoyance in her eyes, “Dammit, I told her to keep quiet.”

“Well, she really had no choice, considering that she was facing all the Class Zero Jeweloids and Swami,” Kasami comments as he rounds the corner.

Maggie’s expression changes to concern, looking back at me, “Did she get in trouble?”

I shake my head, “No, she’s fine.”

She sighs in relief, “Good. She doesn’t belong down here.”

“Neither do you,” I comment, “Or half of the people down here honestly.”

She looks back at the wall behind me, apparently thinking about something. I watch her for a moment, unsure how I should go about what I want to say. My gut wants to go out on a limb, and ask her about the invitations. I want to clear the air and finally prove to her that I didn’t know. I want us to finally be the way we used to be. But . . . the churning I feel in my stomach detests the idea. My hands are a bit clammy, though I clench my fists to hide it.

I don’t know what to do.

“Hey Jintez, what’s wrong with you?”

My eyes widen, looking up to see another familiar face I didn’t expect to see.

“S-Savannah?” I stutter as she jumps off her bunk and walks out.

She steps up right beside Maggie and smirks, looking over, “Well look at you? Don’t you look all fancy.”

I grin, raising an eyebrow as I gain my bearings, “Why’re you back down here?”

Maggie looks a bit upset, saying quietly, “Because she helped me. . . .”

My eyes widen, looking over at her. It’s very clear, Maggie feels guilty about what happened. It seems she believed she would be the only one punished. I put a hand on her shoulder, catching her attention as she looks up at me. “Hey, don’t blame everything on yourself,” I say, “Savannah wouldn’t have done anything if she didn’t want to.”

“True,” Savannah laughs, “But to think, I would be acting as bodyguard for you, when our first meeting was during that fight.”

I chuckle, but Maggie appears confused, still looking up at me, “Wait, what fight?”

I meet her gaze, and suddenly realize that I hadn’t ever told Maggie about Savannah’s involvement in the beating. Oh dear.

“The one that landed him in the hospital section,” Savannah states simply, crossing her arms, “I’m the one that knocked him out in the first place.”

Maggie expression turns to shock, and Mally shakes her head. “Dear, you’ve not changed a bit since you left,” Mally comments.

Savannah blinks, looking over at Mally, “What? I’m just being honest. I mean, I wouldn’t do it now, but at the time everyone really thought he had hurt her.”

“Hurt . . . her?” Maggie trails, “Who?”

Savannah groans slightly, face-palming, “Oh my Lord, you Maggie!”

Immediately, her cheeks flush, and she looks back at me. I grimace, and chuckle to lighten the mood, “That was a while ago, we don’t need to keep bringing it up.”

“Yeah. . . .” Maggie trails.

Yeah, she feels even worse now. I really don’t have anywhere to go but up with her at this point. “Maggie,” I say without thinking.

Her eyes meet mine, her expression shaded in sadness. I pause, clearing my throat before I just speak, “I know.”

Her brow furrows, “You know what?”

I don’t answer for a moment, looking over at Mally. She reads my gaze and nods, walking quickly to remove Savannah from Maggie’s side. Savannah seems perplexed, but doesn’t fight, sensing that a serious conversation is about to take place. Maggie tenses as she notices everyone’s actions, her eyes becoming harder. “What?” She asks again.

I sigh, and finally, I reach into my inner jacket pocket, and pull out the infamous slip of paper. As soon as she sees it, she goes rigid, her eyes bulging. Though, it only lasts a moment before whatever hatred resurfaces, and she glares at me. I ignore it as best I can, but I will admit, her eyes sting. “This,” I say as I hold it in front of her, “The reason why you hated me.”

“That?” Savannah questions as she raises an eyebrow, “It’s just a piece of paper-“

“This isn’t just any piece of paper,” I interrupt as I look over at Kasami, “This is a formal invitation from the Capital, asking if I would come to join Maggie during her training.”

Kasami’s eyes widen, “What? When did that get here?”

“When did you get an invitation?” Savannah questions, “I never heard about you getting invitations to go to the Capital.”

“That’s right, you didn’t,” I say as I look back at Maggie, “That’s because I never received any of them.”

Maggie’s eyes flare for a moment, anger rising. Here it comes-

“You’re complete bullshit!” she yells, “Every week I sent you at least eight invitations, but every time you sent me a God damn refusal, hand written even!”

Kasami looks concerned, quickly joining my side, “Miss, Isugoro never got any mail from the capital, I would’ve seen it-“

“Not the way she did it,” I interrupt, still staring at her, “She used the normal mail system because she wanted it to come directly to me. It went through the normal mail ways, and was checked by human soldiers.”

“So?-“ she starts.

“So, Maggie,” I interrupt, “Someone in the mail system replied for me and sent them directly back. SUN told me herself that you received the refusals the very next day normally.”

Maggie’s expression breaks a bit at the sound of SUN’s mention. She grumbles, “Dammit Maleah.”

My brow furrows, “She was fearsome, she came right at me and called me out in front of all the Class Zeroes. . . . Though once she saw this . . .”

I pull out another piece of paper; the same message written in my handwriting. I hold it out to Maggie, right next to the invitation. Her expression shatters as she sees the very clear differences in the script. Kasami looks at it as well, nodding as he gestures to the second paper, “Yes, that’s Isugoro’s handwriting, LAPIS.”

The color in Maggie’s face drains, her hand shaking as she raises it to her face. Her eyes dart between the pages, obviously confused. I drop both of them, and without thinking, I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a tight embrace. She’s caught off guard, but doesn’t fight. Kasami, Savannah, and Mally look surprised, but do nothing. I whisper gently to her, “I can understand why you’d hate me for that. . . . I’m sorry I didn’t come for you.”

My words cause her to break, and silently, tears start to fall down her face, and her arms wrap around my back, gripping tightly at my jacket. Kasami grimaces, “I feel so guilty. . . . He asked everyday about you, and yet you were reaching out for him the entire time.”

Her hold tightens, as does mine.

Savannah’s voice cuts through the bitter silence, her tone sharper, “So if Isugoro didn’t send those refusals, who did? And why?”

“Why is obvious. A rift between LAPIS and her Partner would’ve kept the two from becoming closer and becoming a threat to both the higher-ups and the human soldiers. None of them want an uprising.”

Everyone goes still as the familiar voice flows through the room. Maggie pulls from me a bit, and I look over my shoulder, seeing exactly who we both feared.

HERA.

“HERA. . . .” Maggie trailed, before her face contorted into a familiar expression of anger as she pieces something together, “Did you set this all up?! You hated him anyway, did you really want-“

“Whoa, whoa, I didn’t do it,” HERA says, “Sure, I’m a bitch, I know that, but I’m not that low that I’d use such a dismal method to separate you two. I have some class.”

My eyes narrow, turning and keeping Maggie behind me, “So if you didn’t do it, why did you say that just now?”

HERA smirks a bit, “I may not have done it, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t figure out eventually that the refusals were a hoax-“

“You BITCH!” Maggie yells, her power spiking slightly. Mally looks shocked, and Savannah seems a bit taken back. I immediately turn back to try to calm her, but instead, she gets past me, somehow getting in front of HERA. HERA looks stunned for a moment, not having time to react as Maggie back hands her across the face, sending her flying into one of the private bunks. Kasami gasps, Mally covering her mouth to halt a scream. Savannah looks concerned, meeting my eyes as we both hurry to restrain Maggie. Though, it’s in vain, as HERA comes back at her with a vengeance.

“What little girl?!” HERA shouts as she flies at Maggie, “Can’t think on your own?!” Instantly, HERA throws a right hook at Maggie, but she dodges before HERA can land, flashing and reappearing above her. HERA turns back and catches Maggie’s forearm, throwing her across the room and into a wall. To all of our shock, the rock cracks upon impact as Maggie lets out a pained grunt. She falls slightly, and HERA laughs, running at her again. “You’re pathetic!” HERA shouts, “You couldn’t even see the obvious in front of you! I had no choice but to let you ruin your own life! It made you a better soldier! Besides, what can-“

“Enough.”

I don’t know how exactly I did it, but the saber I wore adorned at my side is now tight in my grip, and I have the blade pointed at HERA’s neck. She looks utterly confused as she’s stopped within an inch of the steel. Maggie looks surprised too, as I got in between the two in record speed. HERA’s eyes slowly move from the sword to meet my eyes. “What are you-“ she starts.

“I don’t care if you’re another Class Zero, or a Jeweloid, or Human,” I say as I glare her down, “Don’t. Touch. Her.”

Maggie’s expression goes blank. HERA’s expression falls into a frown, a strange version of fear reading in her stare. “You’ve gone mad-“ she says.

“It’s my duty as her Partner to protect her,” I say with an unusual edge to my voice, “That was the most important thing I was told while I was there. If you have a problem with that, step forward.”

For the first time, I see her gulp, and she relents, stepping away. I don’t move, my gaze locked on her. Though, oddly enough, her fear fades to amusement, and she chuckles, looking over at Maggie as she stares up at me in utter shock. “Well then, this experiment seems to have turned against me. Instead of seeing you fall apart, I think you’ve just become more resilient,” HERA comments, “You’re actually quite menacing when you’re serious, Isugoro Jintez.”

With that, she raises her arms up, laughing in a way, “I give. If you want the assailant, then why not look through your memories, Jintez. Someone so small in your mind has made such a huge impact on you.”

“My memories?” I question, “I don’t know anyone who would’ve done this-“

“Did you ever speak to a human who wasn’t involved in the Jeweloid Sector?” HERA interrupts, “Anyone that didn’t agree with your thoughts?”

My expression falters a bit as I think through my memories. The only humans I’ve ever spoken to outside of the Jeweloid Sector are Cent, and that group I sat with once at lunch. I never learned much about them, but none of them knew me well enough to truly want something like this to-

“You're playing a dangerous game. Pick a side before you damn yourself."

My mind stops.

No way, it wasn’t. . . .

HERA smirks, “Figure it out?”

Suddenly, I recall her uniform. The patch she was wearing; It showed the wing insignia of the Communication Sector.

I grit my teeth, “God dammit Gillie!”

“Bingo,” HERA comments.

“Gillie. . . .” Maggie trails, before she looks over at a bunk I hadn’t noticed was preoccupied.

I look over as well, and to our shock, sitting there with the palest expression of fear; Gillie. Savannah looks over as well, her eyes narrowing, “You said you’re in for tampering with personal affects, correct?”

Gillie says nothing, looking absolutely petrified. She clings to her bunk, tears forming at the rims. Then, Maggie moves, her eyes locked on her. Gillie whimpers, then cries out in fright as Maggie flashes. Then, when Maggie appears beside her, Gillie begins to scream, falling from her bunk as she tries her best to run away. She stumbles out of the private bunk, only to be stopped by HERA with Savannah at her side. She’s pinned to the wall, panting hard. Then she glances at me. Once she meets my eyes, I start toward her, my sword still drawn. Her eyes bulge in fright as Maggie joins my side, her power radiating. She crumbles to the floor, crying. Then, we stop in front of her, I being the one to speak first, “You did all of this . . . for what reason? What did you gain?”

She can’t accurately answer through her tears, only getting out, “I-I wasn’t thinking. . . ! I thought I was h-helping! You, a decent human, screwing around with the worst of the worst-!”

“Oh, you haven’t seen the worst,” HERA comments, her eyes daggers despite her sweet tone, “The Jeweloids down here respect Isugoro for what he did for LAPIS. What do you think they’ll do to you once they hear that you tried to force them apart?”

Sweat drips down her face, her breathing more ragged, “I-I was just doing what I thought-“

“You thought wrong,” Maggie says, her voice ice, “You made me hate the only person that had treated me like a human-“

“You’re no human!” Gillie screams.

“Shut it.”

Everyone is caught off guard as I put the tip to her neck. She goes silent, mortified. Everyone else is surprised as I speak, “These people are far more human than the likes of you. They didn’t ask to become what they are. They didn’t have a choice, unlike you who did it because of the most idiotic vice. You slander for nothing, and don’t deserve the life you’ve been given here.”

She shakes, but I shock everyone even more as my expression suddenly shifts, my brow furrowing as I sheath my sword. I sigh, “I chose this path because that’s what I truly believe in. And I will continue that path as her Partner.” I turn away, and see Kasami standing with Mally and Eriks, looking concerned. I look at Kasami, “What do her actions get her?”

“I don’t know at the moment, but interfering with Class Zero relations is a high crime,” he says as he glances at her a quick moment, “Though, let us see what the Jeweloids decide.”

He pulls a slip from his jacket, and holds it out to me. I walk over and take it, my eyes widening as I read it.

“A free pass?” I read.

Kasami nods, “Yes; Three times a year, I’m allowed to pardon a Jeweloid for small actions.” He glances at Maggie, “Come LAPIS, SUGILITE, you’re being released; right now.”

Savannah and Maggie look surprised, but Savannah smiles, patting Maggie on the back, “Ah, yes! C’mon!”

Maggie looks a bit stunned, then her expression falls, looking back at Gillie, who’s still in shock. She lowers to be eyes level, and meets her eyes. “You’re lucky, I could’ve splattered you across the wall, and gotten away with it,” she says quietly, before she leans forward, putting Gillie more on edge, “Don’t go near any Jeweloid, you won’t leave untouched. Just stay low and don’t let them read your thoughts.”

Maggie whispers in her ear, “You don’t deserve that much emotion.”

Gillie meets her eyes as Maggie pulls away, whispering so only she hears, “Why him?” Maggie looks a bit surprised by her words, listening as she stutters, “What did you do to make him want this?”

After a moment, Maggie’s eyes narrow, slowly leaning back in, “I was myself. I did nothing to sway him.”

“You must have-“ Gillie starts.

“Say another thing about him,” Maggie interrupts, staring her down, “Say something else about my Partner . . . and I will take care of you myself.”

“Why? . . .” Gillie trails.

Maggie grimaces, putting her hand to Gillie’s chest, “Because unlike you, I have a heart.”

Something transfers to Gillie from Maggie’s palm, as she completely falls apart as Maggie stands, wailing as she walks back to me. She meets my eyes, and I grin somewhat. A flush falls over Maggie’s cheeks, and she manages a grimace. Just by reading her eyes, I can see the weight of her guilt. My face falls as I glance at Gillie, then back to Maggie, who seems torn about a lot of things. I sigh, and do my best to calm her as I take her hand and wrap it around my forearm so to escort her. She seems taken back, but a small grin creeps out, and she leans against me a bit.

I grin and look over at Mally, who looks sad but happy somehow. We walk over to her, and as we stop, my countenance turns to a saddened smile, “I’m sorry about this.”

She shakes her head, “No, that girl deserved it. She came in with a horrible mindset, she needs to learn that it’s not right, one way or another.”

Maggie lowers her eyes, “I’m sorry-“

“Don’t you apologize too, Honey!” Mally interrupts, leaning in to give Maggie a hug, whispering in her ear, “You’re in good hands, my Dear.”

Maggie nods, smiling a bit as she loosens, “I know. . . .”

Mally smiles, looking over at me as she opens her arms and embraces me. I wrap my free arm around her, and lean over to whisper to her, “Thanks for keeping an eye on her.”

She chuckles, “She’s a sweet girl, Isugoro. Keep both of you safe, ok?”

I nod, “Of course.”

She squeezes me a bit tighter, “Isugoro; I don’t think it was originally Gillie’s idea.” My eyes widen as Mally continues, sounding much more serious than usual, “This sounds like a very similar situation that got COBALT down here. She may have carried it out, but she couldn’t have gotten away with mishandling all those documents without someone knowing about it.”

My brow furrows. I should’ve known there was probably something deeper to this. She loosens her hold on me, and looks me in the eye. She grimaces, putting a hand to my cheek. “You’re a good man, do what’s right,” she says simply, before she glances over at Maggie, “And you’re a strong-willed young woman, I know you’ll succeed Dear.”

Maggie grins, then looks up at me as Kasami gestures at us that it’s time to go, “Goro?”

My mind is tumbling with all the incoming information. Maggie notices that I’m thinking, and nudges me gently, breaking my concentration. I meet her eyes and she shows me a warm smile, one I haven’t seen for some time. Her eyes are relit with a light I recall from a long time ago, and it makes me relax. I nod and with that, we start forward leaving the past behind.

Though, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to let go easily.


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Fri Feb 19, 2016 6:30 am
Mea wrote a review...



Hey there! I'm back. Let's get into this.

Overall, I thought this chapter was good. I think you pulled off what is clearly a pretty important reveal fairly smoothly, and it made sense.

The main thing that jolted me out of the story was that occasionally your dialogue just feels really weird or off. Dialogue is one of the hardest things to get right, and it really just required knowing your characters really well and wordsmithing and proofreading. Now, I'm sure you know your characters plenty well by this point, so it really just comes down to the proofreading. Read your work out loud and listen for any dialogue that sounds weird or is hard to read - it will help.

You also have several small grammar errors, but again, those can be corrected through proofreading.

My other main problem was that I'm still having a little bit of a hard time feeling grounded in the story - I think this is largely because I'm starting right in the middle of it, but there are still some things you could do it make it feel more present, and that's description.

Describe the setting to us - what does the place look like? That will help readers get a clearer picture. One reason Harry Potter feels so magical is because of how Rowling describes Hogwarts. But don't just describe setting - use it to set the mood. It's possible to describe an identical room in any number of different ways to convey whichever mood you're trying to promote - use that. Use your tight first-person narrator to color the world around you. It's difficult (I sure can't do it very well) but it will make your writing better.

As far as plot-related things go, really the only thing I have to say is that it seemed odd to me that they didn't notice Gillie until they were working through the implications of what had happened. It seemed a little too engineered for me.

That's all I've got for you for now - if you have any questions, just ask!






Just for the record, I've never read or seen Harry Potter. Mainly because I don't want to steal any scenes or any ideas. I did that once with Divergent and I had to go back and retcon the part because people called me out. I am intrigued to read them, but I am a bit worried about how LAPIS could be affected.
Yeah I'm gonna suggest you go back and read from the beginning, or else you're not going to understand a lot of this, because a lot of these places have been introduced in the first book, LAPIS, as well as many of the characters (like Gillie, Mally, and Eriks)
I appreciate the comments
~Maddie



Mea says...


Ah, that makes sense - I've done that before. I was just using Harry Potter as a general example, though - I don't really think it's similar to what you have here.

And I know I should read from the beginning, and that's my dilemma - I want to review this for you, but I just don't have time to read an entire novel and a half to do it. I wish I did. I'll probably at least go back and read the first few chapters.



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Wed Dec 02, 2015 11:28 pm
JayBlu wrote a review...



So it's more or less back to the way it was between the two before Maggie left for the Capitol. Well, only between them at least, which I suppose is much better than the alternative. Gillie though, should've did more, I probably would have, but eh, I guess that's why I don't make those kinds of decisions. You end up losing you're humanity and becoming the very thing that your vengeance sent you to kill. Not an easy lesson to learn, better to avoid having to learn it altogether. Very few ever do it the easy way though. I sure didn't.

Kasami needs some more prominence in the story for a bit. Just a personal thought, he's always like the ally hidden in the shadows, popping up at random/odd times but always being VERY helpful when he does resurface. Kind ninja-like almost. An Un-sung hero some historians would call it if he existed somewhere in history. Or maybe only I think that way. I just feel like he'll possibly play a serious role soon, even if it's only minor to most, it'll cause a "ripple within the ranks", so the saying goes. Wondering if you get what I mean by that?

Welp, the misunderstanding about the falsified responses to the invitations were cleared up thankfully, seems that so far, everything is on the right path. That last line though:

The past doesn't let go easily. That one line by itself could be considered poetically correct if nothing else. I'm sure someone somewhere else would agree with me. Mally and Savannah and even Eriks, pretty good roster from previous chapters and LAPIS make an appearance. Nostalgic in a way. Gillie's pointless racism, if you could call it that, since both are human and possibly from the same gene pool and ethnic heritage, not sure what to call that exactly, but I'll go with racism. Pointless. It's basically hatred for something that she doesn't understand. Maybe even jealousy. I remember she was attracted to Isugoro at one point in time, if I'm not confusing her with someone else, so jealousy could play a apart of it, and if the Commander knew of something like that, she'd be the perfect dupe with emotions he could quite masterfully exploit to go alongside his whims and desires ya know? Good chapter. Spent a few days catching up not too long ago, I think I mentioned that to you earlier. Well, later yo.




JayBlu says...


Was meant to be a review, but I forgot to click the review option. Sorry.




¯\_(ツ)_/¯
— Someone Incredibly Noncommittal