z

Young Writers Society



DUET :Chapter 8:

by SereneSimpliciT


Never could I have imagined that having Maggie meet Sammy would go so . . . well. It’s been a good two weeks, and I still have yet to see Maggie and Sammy detach from each other. Although Sammy doesn’t attend normal training, Maggie puts aside all the free time she has to catch up with her. Maggie has even considered coming to breakfast, but it seems HERA is oppose to her involving herself too closely with other Jeweloids. The argument was fascinating, with HERA stumbling over her words as Maggie fought harshly against her.

“It is a Class Zero’s duty to take care of the other Jeweloids, right?” Maggie questioned.

“Yes, but by being a Class Zero, you have to be very careful not to lose your reverence-“ HERA retorted.

“How can they have “reverence” for me in the first place if they don’t even know what my real name is?” Maggie interrupted, “They should know me to trust me.”

“That will make you look weak-“ HERA started, her voice losing its confidence that farther Maggie pushed.

“Creating a barrier between myself and the others will make me look like another narcissistic powerhead,” Maggie snapped, staring down HERA as she walked closer to her, “I don’t deserve power if I just use it to get a God complex like you do.”

HERA went silent, a mix of anger and uncertainty consuming her as she glared down Maggie. It was obvious by then that HERA really didn’t have a good reason to oppose Maggie’s wishes, but even so, she was going to stand her ground. She has way too much pride to give in to Maggie. Another battle of shouting commenced, but in the end, it came out as a deadlock, with me just standing there as the two huffed and walked their separate ways.

I’m beginning to see that HERA and Maggie may have more similarities than I first imagined.

With that, the training of the day was finished, and before I could even speak one word, Maggie was sprinting down the hall, a warm smile plastered on her face. I watched her go, smiling myself as I knew she was going to go see Sammy.

I’m glad she’s got her best friend back.

“Isugoro?”

I jolt slightly, looking over to see Savannah staring at me. She holds her hips, looking amused as I straighten up. “Y-Yes?” I stutter.

She laughs, “Well, you were sure out of it. I didn’t even have to use my abilities to distract you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just . . . thinking,” I say, unable to find a good excuse.

“I can tell,” Savannah says, stepping forward a bit, “I’m guessing you’re thinking about Miss LAPIS?”

“Maggie?” I comment.

Savannah blinks, “Oh yeah, that’s her name. Heh, I should know, considering how much Sammy has been hanging out with her recently. . . . The two really did seem to hit it off, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, well, they actually already knew each other-” I start.

“That’s right!” Savannah gasps, moving her arms in animated gestures as she speaks, “To think, being reunited with your long lost best friend after 1,000 years! It seems impossible, yet, they did it!”

She basically skips around me as she tries her best at a one person reenactment of Maggie and Sammy’s reunion, her actions almost choreographed to my voice as I point out her flaws. She laughs after a few minutes of performance, leaning against me as I chuckle. Though, it’s short lived. In the most amazing display of turning the tide of a conversation, Savannah lifts her head so she can meet my eyes. “You seem worried,” she comments, “Why are you upset, considering that she’s finally so happy?”

My eyes widen, unsure how to react to the sudden change in topic. “What do you mean?” I ask.

She watches me a few moments longer, then she deflates a bit. It’s obvious she’s looking through my thoughts. I can feel her presence in the back of my head, her natural curiosity shuffling through to find something of interest. Then, she goes straight, her eyes widening as she apparently comes across something, something even I’m unaware of. “You’re jealous of Sammy?!” she shouts.

“W-What?!” I shout myself, shocked by her claim, “I am not!”

“You’re upset that Sammy is getting all this attention from Miss LAPIS,” Savannah continues, “You’re sad that she isn’t as happy to see you as she is to see her!”

“Savannah, that’s ridiculous!” I retort, “Maggie and Sammy haven’t each other in a long time, it makes sense that they spend all their time together-“

“And that’s what you keep telling yourself to keep from getting upset at either of them, because you know it’s selfish,” Savannah interrupts.

“No! That’s not it!” I say.

Again, Savannah goes quiet, though it’s because she picked up something else in my thoughts. I’m getting so aggravated. Me, jealous of Sammy? That makes literally no sense! There’s no reason to be upset, none at all-

“You’re afraid she’ll choose Sammy to be her Partner instead of you.”

My mind stops dead in its tracks. Savannah doesn’t do anything to save me from the thought, allowing it to burn into my brain. The only thing I can hear is my heartbeat, steadily picking up rhythm.

She’ll choose Sammy . . . over me?

I fall a bit into myself, faltering under the idea as it continues to sink in. Savannah sighs, resting her head against my chest. “You silly boy . . . you’re scared and you didn’t even realize it,” she comments.

I don’t say anything. I can’t. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the notion that I had subconsciously constructed. To think, I could be worried that Sammy would try to take the position I have been assigned. I can’t imagine that that is what Sammy is trying to do, and I don’t believe Maggie is even aware that she is allowed to pick another Jeweloid as her Partner due to her status. . . . But still, to think for even a second that I may have done all of this, worked so hard . . . for nothing . . . it’s a horrible pill to swallow. My chest is tight, my heart still pounding as I continue to ponder. Savannah looks up at my face, making a troubled expression as she watches me.

After a few more moments, I hear an exhausted groan, and a pull on my wrist. I look up in surprise to see Savannah is hauls me close behind her, walking us quickly towards the exit. I try a few times to ask her where exactly we’re heading, but each time, she shushes me immediately. After the sixth silencing, I keep quiet, allowing her to lead me down familiar corridors until we’re right outside the Jeweloid cafeteria. I’m perplexed as she brings me to a halt, turning towards me as she instructs, “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

With that, she walks off, leaving me utterly confused as she disappears into the colorful array of people eating and conversing. I watch as the Jeweloids enjoy their dinner, some larger groups, laughing and reminiscing on the training of the day, while a few couples enjoy the other’s company, speaking of romantic things, I’m sure. Everyone looks so happy, so relaxed. I grin as I watch. I hope I’ll be able to stay with these people.

“You, follow us.”

I blink, looking over to see Savannah walking past me . . . dragging Maggie and Sammy behind her. My mouth drops a little, and I instantly connect eyes with both girls. They’re both completely lost.

I sigh, following after the girls as Savannah takes them into a private eating room nearby. I shut the door behind us and lean against the door, unsure what to do as Sammy and Maggie stare at me. I put up my hands, “Don’t look at me, Savannah is the mastermind behind this.”

Instantly, the two stick their eyes on Savannah, Maggie speaking, “What the hell, Savannah? This was the first time I was able to eat in the cafeteria-“

“What are your intentions with Sammy?” Savannah asks.

Maggie looks perplexed, as does Sammy. I facepalm.

Really?

“What?” Maggie questions.

Savannah groans, “Do you just plan on being friends with Sammy like before?”

Sammy and Maggie meet stares, both of them obviously not understanding. Sammy shrugs, then looks at Savannah, “Savannah, could you please explain what’s going on-“

“You,” Savannah says, pointing straight at Sammy, “Tell me, if Maggie was to offer you the position of Partner, would you take it?”

Maggie looks confused, “Partner? Sammy is a Jeweloid, she can’t be-“

“Yes, she can,” I interject, catching everyone’s attention. Maggie’s brow furrows as soon as she meets my eyes. She opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off, “Since you are of the standing of Class Zero, you have the privilege to choose a Jeweloid below the first class. And Sammy is of Class Three, so she is a perfect candidate to be your Partner.”

Maggie goes speechless, looking between Sammy and I. I can tell she’s thinking, making my stomach sink as I realize I’ve only dug the hole deeper for myself. I chuckle bitterly, and Sammy steps up to me, looking concerned. “Isugoro-“ she starts.

“I can never match up to you,” I interrupt, looking Sammy straight in the eye. Her eyes go wide in shock, as do Maggie’s.

Instantly, Maggie starts to stutter out some kind of reply, her mind tumbling over itself. She lets out only a few words before she’d pause and restart, unable to catch herself or explain clearly. Savannah pouts, her plan apparently not working out exactly as she planned out in her head as she watches like Sammy and I.

“I don’t, I mean I didn’t know- Well, I never thought that-“ Maggie stuttered until Savannah finally signaled to her to be silent, Maggie looking beyond flustered as she looked at each of us.

“Maggie,” Savannah says, grabbing everyone’s attention, “Tell me, have you really been hanging the title of Partner in front of Isugoro’s face?”

Sammy’s expression of shock turns to complete disbelief, her brow furrowing as she looks over at Maggie. She breaths, “Are you serious Maggie?”

Instantly, Maggie looks guilty, her expression contorting oddly. Her eyes fall to the floor, unable to meet anyone’s stare. She starts mumbling the same nonsense as before, her thoughts crashing into each other. The sight is almost depressing, but I know I can’t change anything. After a moment as this thought lingering, I laugh, catching everyone off guard. I rub my forehead, then turn slightly, taking the handle of the door. I gesture at the three as I open the door, “I think we all know where this is going. I’ll see you guys around.”

“Wh-What?” Maggie stutters, finally looking back up at me, “Wait-“

I walk out. I don’t know why, I guess I just didn’t want to hear Maggie say she really had changed her mind about me. I don’t want to hear it.

I don’t want to be rejected by her.

I stop mid-step, only making myself more upset as I think over the relationship between Maggie and I. She doesn’t need me anymore. . . I’m no longer the only person she trusts.

I’m no longer important to her-

“GORO!”

I’m shocked as I’m tackled from behind, falling to the ground with a thud. I let out a short shout, but it’s drowned out by the repetitive sound of “no”s that I can hear from behind. I look over my shoulder and blink in surprise to see Maggie clinging to me. Her face is buried in my back, her knuckles white as she grips my jacket. I turn over slightly, and she releases me long enough that she reattaches to the front of me, her arms wrapped tight around my neck. Although her grip is strong, it’s gentle, her face tucked comfortably in the crook of my neck. After a moment of allowing her to calm herself a bit, I sigh. “Maggie, what are you-“ I start.

“Stay.”

I blink, surprised by her frightened tone. She shakes a bit, and continues with a shaky voice, “Please . . . don’t just walk away. . . . That scares me, Goro.”

I’m unsure what to do, puzzled as I listen to her continue to call me by my nickname, a taboo that’s only broken in her moments of weakness. After her mumbling has become too unbearable, I finally wrap my arms around her, holding her close as she tears up some. I’m sure the sight would be an odd one to anyone just walking by, yet our luck holds strong, and nobody passes through the back hallway, allowing me to have my first moment alone with Maggie since the day of the final test.

I stay quiet as she composes herself, slowly pulling away to be sitting. I stare down at her as she wipes her nose and rids her cheeks of what tears are falling, her cheeks a bit flush. After a moment, I lean over slightly so I can be eye level with her, whispering, “Are you ok?”

She nods, avoiding my eyes as she clears her throat. “Y-Yeah, I just . . .” she trails, her expression changing slightly as she places her hand on my arm. I see a short flash in my mind’s eye of my conversation with Savannah, as well as some other lingering thoughts I hadn’t recalled. I feel a lump forming in my throat.

She knows my thoughts.

It’s only a moment before she seems to crumble into herself, the tears at the rims of her eyes falling over. I can’t help myself from trying my best to shush her, wiping the tears away as I tenderly pulling her back into an embrace. She watches me, saying nothing as she searches my face.

Then, she grimaces, chuckling half-heartedly as she says quietly, “Did you really believe I was serious?”

My eyes widen, unsure how to respond as her brow furrows. She lifts her hands up to my face, holding my cheeks gently as she leans her forehead against mine. I swallow hard, my heartbeat picking up as she chuckles again. “When I said it, I suppose part of me did mean it. . . . I was still very bitter,” Maggie continues, her voice a nostalgic tone I haven’t heard for a long time, “I told myself to hate you, that you were awful. . . . Saying that though, it appears my stubbornness has cracked.”

I don’t respond quickly, allowing her words to sink in as she releases her hold, her head still against mine as she sighs. Finally, I speak, “What did I do to change your mind?”

Immediately, her eyes meet mine, her expression more serious. “I never said I fully trust you yet,” Maggie comments.

“So what then?” I ask.

She deflates a bit, “I’ve changed my thinking because in the end . . . you showed me why I had doubt in my own hatred.”

“Doubt?” I repeat.

She nods, “While yes, I did have an idea that I stood by . . . there was something nagging me in the back of my head, telling me that something was off. Considering everything I already knew, what I had come to believe didn’t fully make sense.”

“Know about what?”

“About you, Goro,” she states plainly. My nickname falls naturally from her lips, making the entire situation shift in a way I was never expecting.

I blink in surprise, “Me?”

“Yes, you!” she said, “Literally nothing about the predicament matched up with the personality I knew you had, but at the time, having all those voices screaming their theories . . . I guess I can say I was influenced by their words. . . . But none the less, the image that I had painted in my anger of you . . . that LAPIS had created . . . it didn’t match Maggie’s.”

I can’t speak, and it seems Maggie has caught on to my inner confusion. She sighs a bit, then wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me close. She moves her face so that now I’m leaning against her, her heartbeat steady and strong in my ear. My hesitance melts the longer we sit there, and it’s a minute or so later I realize I’m holder her tight. She giggles a bit, whispering straight into my ear, “Goro . . . were you really jealous of Sammy?”

I tense, causing her to laugh. My brow furrows, and I bury my face in her neck, not wanting to see her expression. “I wasn’t jealous,” I answer simply.

“Oh?” she says, “Well, even though you say that, I’ll still say this; It made me happy in an odd way.”

“Huh?” I say without thinking.

“It made me happy . . . to know you care about being involved,” Maggie explains, her tone cooling as she seems to get embarrassed, “Even through all the bull crap I’ve put you through. . . . Heh, you’re even more stubborn than me.” I don’t answer quickly, causing her to squeeze a bit tighter, “But I need that stubbornness. Sammy would be a great support, but she can’t take the position.”

“Why?” I question, pulling away enough so that I can look her in the face, “Just because I’m stubborn doesn’t mean I’m better-“

“Sammy would never be able to convince me to do anything,” she says simply, “She’s never had the backbone to stand up to major issues.”

“So-“ I start.

“You act on your gut. That’s the kind of Partner I need,” she interrupts, “I’ve seen it for myself, you can stand up for what you believe in. . . . Plus, it helps that we fight well together.”

“And with each other,” I comment.

Maggie doesn’t say anything for a moment, just watching me. Then, she seems to think up a good response, grinning, “But you still want to be my Partner. I know that much.”

I chuckle after a moment, unable to stop myself from speaking, “Of course I do, you’re my main concern. I wouldn’t have done all of that training for just anyone.”

As soon as my words leave my lips, I freeze. Maggie’s expression falls into one of shock, her cheeks flushing immediately, despite covering her cheeks. I myself can feel heat rising in my face, but I ignore it, looking away and clearing my throat. My arms fall a bit so that she can move, but it seems she’s so stunned that she doesn’t even notice, her face still inches from mine. I hear a racing heartbeat, but at this point, I’m so perplexed by my own thoughts that I can’t tell if it’s mine or hers. After another minute of awkward silence, Maggie starts to giggle. I meet her eyes, and before either of us can stop, we burst into laughter.

Her laugh is bright and innocent, making the awkwardness shatter as I laugh with her. She smiles, covering her mouth as she actually lets out a snort, which makes me laugh even harder. She hits me softly in the shoulder, her face red as she continues to giggle. After a few minutes, the laughter has died down and we’re now just sitting with each other, the tension gone as we speak normally.

“So. . . .” Maggie trails, catching my attention, “Will you stay my Partner Candidate?”

I don’t answer quickly, then grin, “After all this, I really have no choice, right?”

Maggie smiles, then basically tackles me again. I laugh, but hug her back, glad that my worries were nothing after all.

“Aww, how sweet.”

Maggie and I jerk, separating immediately at the sound of a different voice. Though, when we look over, both of us relax as we see Sammy and Savannah watching us with smiles on their faces. Savannah raises an eyebrow, “Everything ok now?”

I nod, “Y-Yeah.”

Sammy steps forward, “Maggie, why-“

“You weren’t a choice, Sammy,” Maggie says as she stands up, holding a hand out to me, “I need someone who can keep my ass in check.”

With that, I laugh, taking her hand as she helps me to her feet. Sammy laughs too, “True, you’ve always been too unruly for me.”

Maggie smiles, looking between Sammy and I, then towards Savannah. She raises an eyebrow, “You really like to test the waters, don’t you?”

Savannah laughs warmly, stepping closer and patting Maggie on the back. Maggie looks surprised, not used to anyone being so forward with her. “Little Miss LAPIS, it takes a lot more than a glare to get me nervous,” Savannah comments, before she gestures to me, “I mean, I saw this boy take out some of the most violent Jeweloids in the Detention Sector, and I still wasn’t scared to face him.”

Maggie looks surprised, not expecting Savannah to be aware of my . . . less than pleasant experience in the Detention Sector. Thinking back, a chill runs down my spine as I recall being surrounded by Jeweloids, all of which who thought I had hurt Maggie. They beat me to the edge of death, before I was saved by Nathan. I look away, but Maggie grabs my attention. She nudges me, her eyes wide as she stares up at me, “She knows about that incident?”

I chuckle half-heartedly, “Maggie, Savannah was there.”

Maggie gasps slightly, before she turns her attention back on Savannah, “Why didn’t you help him?!”

Savannah’s brow furrows a bit, showing that she does still carry some guilt. “Because, at the time . . . I thought the same thing as every other Jeweloid that was there,” Savannah admits.

“Which was?” Maggie asks, her hands propped on her hips.

For the first time in a while, Savannah looks surprised, and meets my eyes. After a moment, a grin rises on her lips, “You never told her?”

“What?” Maggie questions.

Savannah moves her eyes from me to Maggie, a lump formed in my throat as I listen, “Little Miss, there was a rumor going around that he had raped you.”

Maggie and Sammy look stunned, Maggie’s face going pale as Savannah’s words sink in. I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I watch the floor. Slowly, I pull my eyes back up to see Maggie staring at me, an expression of guilt set on her face. I sigh, taking her hand as I walk past her and Savannah. She looks surprised, as does the Sammy, her expression shock as continue forward. “Can we get lunch now?” I say, “Seriously, this is getting too dramatic.”

Sammy and Savannah exchange a glance, but they both grin and shrug, following after Maggie and I as we enter the cafeteria. Once we enter, I can instantly sense eyes on us. Maggie’s hold on my hand tightens, as she’s probably on edge due to being around so many Jeweloids for the first time. Though, her anxiety doesn’t hold back those who are curious, as some I’ve spoken to before come up to us.

A Jeweloid with bright pink hair appears beside me, eyeing Maggie even though she speaks to me, “Hello, Jintez.”

“Hi,” I say with a grin.

She grins back, before her attention turns to Maggie, “Who’re you, I haven’t seen you before.”

“Uh, I-I’m. . .” Maggie stutters, trying to sound calm, “I’m LAPIS.”

The Jeweloid looks surprised, backing up slightly at the sound of the Class Zero name. I intervene quickly, “She’s rather be called Maggie though, correct?”

Maggie nods, “Y-Yeah, that’s preferable.”

“Ah, ok . . .” the Jeweloid trails, before she shrugs, grinning at Maggie, “Well, I’m Amber then. Born and raised in the USA.”

“You too?” Maggie looks surprised as she asks.

Amber beams, giggling, “Yes, what year are you?”

“2015,” Maggie replies.

“2015?!” Amber repeats, looking shocked, “Why, I was 1945!”

“1945?!” both Maggie and I shout, flabbergasted.

“Yes, we’re not all from the same time period, shocker!” Savannah interjects, appearing on the other side of Maggie, “I mean, I’m not American, and my year was 2073, so calm down.”

“Wait, you’re not American?” Maggie asks, “You don’t have any kind of accent I recognize.”

“That’s because I’m Canadian, Little Miss,” Savannah answers, “Born and raised in Toronto.”

“Oh, ok,” Sammy says as she also appears, “Makes sense.”

“Can we get food now?” I question.

The girls all look at me, then, they each start laughing. Amber nudges Sammy, “My, a man’s appetite sure is entertaining, I wish Thomas was here.”

“Thomas?” Maggie asks.

Amber smiles, “My Finance.” With that, she raises her left hand, and low and behold, a gold band in around her ring finger.

Maggie gasps, “You’re engaged?”

“Yes, have been since 1945,” Amber comments, “He’s still too stubborn to tie the knot, but I’m content to wait as long as we’re together.”

I raise an eyebrow, “Wait, what do you mean?”

She looks over at me, her eyes bright, “We’re both Jeweloids. We were frozen together.”

Maggie and I look at each other, but Maggie lets out a sigh, “Awe, that’s great! You still have each other, even after so long.”

Amber nods, “Yes, and once all this war stuff is over, we plan to settle down and start a family.”

I can feel tension building, but Amber is oblivious, laughing as she waves to us, leaving us with her words. Savannah sighs, “The optimism of postwar America truly was ignorant.”

I follow Amber with my eyes, then look down at Maggie, who appears lost in thought. I take a deep breath, then pull on her a bit, grabbing her attention. “C’mon, you look hungry,” I say.

She watches me for a moment, then nods, allowing me to lead the way as we get our lunches. We all sit and try to speak about happy things. We laugh as Sammy and Savannah tell stories of past experiences, telling of humorous times. Occasionally, some Jeweloids will come up to investigate Maggie, but as soon as they hear the name of LAPIS, they go on edge. Some immediately walk away, but some stay around, curious to see what she’s like beyond the gossip. Maggie is awkward at first, but she gets used to it, enjoying the conversations after a while. I grin, happy to see she’s relaxing. Sammy grins as well, looking to feel the same. Then, her expression brightens, as she appears to remember something. She nudges Savannah, “Hey, when is the memorial this year?”

Maggie looks over, curious, “Memorial?”

Savannah turns to Maggie, “It’s a day in which the Jeweloids remember their loved ones. We get the day off, and there’s normally activities and such.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Maggie says, her expression turning bittersweet.

I gesture to Sammy, “Why do you bring it up?”

Sammy looks to Maggie as she takes a sip of her drink, “Maggie, there’s an open mic portion.”

Maggie is caught off guard mid-swallow, causing her to start coughing. I watch her with concern as she regains her bearings, breathing slowly as she looks up at Sammy, “No. Way.”

Sammy’s expression fades, obviously disappointed by Maggie’s words. “Why? You love to sing-“ Sammy starts.

“It is out of the question, Sammy,” Maggie interrupts, meeting her eyes, “Stop.”

The table is silent for a moment, before Sammy’s brow furrows, and for the first time, she fights back. “What the hell? You lived to sing, and now you’re just gonna abandon the thing you sed to love most-“

“Does it look like I live to sing now, Sammy?” Maggie says.

“But now you have a chance to have your voice heard again Hun!” Sammy argues, “Your voice has haunted me for over three years, that’s how much I’ve missed it Maggie! What could possibly be holding you back?!”

Maggie bites her lip, and looks away. Savannah looks between the two, then at me. I nod slightly to her. I’ll let her handle this part.

“Well Little Miss, what is it?” Savannah asks.

Maggie looks up at her, then back down.

“Maggie. . . .” I trail.

She meets my eyes, and I grimace, saying calmly, “Just say the truth.”

After a moment, she sighs, and looks back at Sammy, “I won’t sound the same. . . .”

Sammy blinks, “What?”

Maggie plays with the food on her plate. “I mean, the ice changed me so much . . . who’s to say that I still have my voice?” Maggie says, “I mean, I haven’t really let out a note since I woke up, so for all I know, I sound like a tone deaf whale.”

The rest of us watch her as she continues to fidget, and I comment off the top of my head, “You’re scared of that?”

Maggie meets my eyes, and after a moment, she nods. “That, and if what I said is true . . . than that will really mean I’m no longer Maggie Smith-“

“That’s bullshit!” Sammy says, “You’re Maggie Smith no matter what the system tries to tell you, like I’m still Sammy Jackson, and Savannah is still herself! You only lose your identity when you allow them to take it, and being afraid of this will just spark the flame all the more.” Maggie says nothing, obviously upset. Sammy fumes a bit, and sighs, “The Maggie I know, she has a voice that rivals some of the best singers we used to hear on the radio. . . . She sounds like an angel and moves like a badass. She got to L.A., she made it to the Finals of 50 States Sing! She was the favorite to win and she deserved that place.”

My brow furrows as I watch them. I had never heard anything about Maggie being a singer, not to mention how advanced she was. Though, from how Sammy is reacting, Maggie must have dedicated a good part of her life to get that far. She looks in pain to see Maggie like this. Maggie can see it too, her expression saddened as Sammy stares at her. “Sammy-“ Maggie starts.

“Please, if not for me, let your family in Heaven hear your voice come back to life,” Sammy interrupts, catching Maggie off guard, “Sing for your mom, your daddy. Sing for your brothers and sisters. . . . Let them hear you again, because let me tell you, that’s all they wanted.”

Maggie’s eyes become glossy at the mention of her family, her hands going to her face as her cheeks start to flush. She doesn’t break eye contact with Sammy though, holding her stare. Sammy looks serious, but sad, “I know you can still sing.”

With that, the table goes quiet, the tension still as Maggie thinks. Her eyes move, and strangely, she makes contact with mine, her stare tired and worried. I watch her, then slowly place my hand over hers as a way to comfort her, and mouth simply, “Don’t doubt yourself.”

Her expression lightens some, and then she looks back at Sammy, starting us down a new route as she says simply, “I’ll think about it.”


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Sun May 01, 2016 5:32 pm
LittleFox wrote a review...



Hey there here for another review, getting caught up slowly!

I have to say I loved this chapter! In fact I think it is one of my favorites. I can't exactly put my finger on what makes it one of my favorites, but I suppose it is the overall tone of this chapter as well as dialogue and amount of suspense and drama. It is a really well balanced chapter! I enjoy seeing Sammy and Maggie's relationship revealed more and more as well as seeing Isugoro and Maggie's relationship move closer to where we all know its going :D. No nit picks here!

Keep on writing!!
LittleFox




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Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:41 am
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Vervain wrote a review...



Hello, Serene! I'd just like to let you know that I haven't read the other chapters of this work, so I will only be commenting on what I see in this chapter.

So in your first paragraph, the first thing I noticed is that you use your character names a lot. And while that's not always a bad thing, as it carries through the rest of the chapter, I figured I should comment on it: It's okay to use pronouns more than once in a blue moon. I understand you're trying to avoid pronoun confusion, but reading "Maggie and Sammy" over and over again started to get on my nerves, and then it didn't get better through the rest of the chapter.

Something that, I think, is another form of that is your syntax. You use very simple syntax, which isn't a problem, except when you get into sections that are very heavy on internal monologue. Then you lapse into sentences that all have to do with "I", and it becomes very monotonous to read; readers don't connect very well to "I did this" sentences, and when those make up a lot of your internal monologue, that can get in the way of the emotional connection you're trying to build.

As for your emotional connection itself, I honestly don't feel much in this chapter, and I don't think it's because I don't know your characters. You express and sweep away emotions with the flick of a wrist, taking us from Maggie and Sammy's happiness to your main character's hesitation towards their friendship and fear of being abandoned, to the stress of the next scene and so on. If you want to build a legitimate connection, let your reader stay and linger on one emotion for a bit; in real life, mood whiplash only happens rarely, and segues are often more natural than you have them here.

After a few more moments, I hear an exhausted groan, and a pull on my wrist.
Also, watch out for sentences like these. While they may make sense inside your head, what you're saying is that your main character hears a pull on his wrist—it would make more sense to say "I hear an exhausted groan, and someone pulls on my wrist".

That's all I have to say for now. Keep writing!




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Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:17 pm
flyingwaves wrote a review...



The novel was good i never felt boring while reading it.the title was great i think it is the eight chapter but after reading this i would like to sweep through all the chapters in the novel ,and i personally feel that a great amount of courage is needed for those who are planning to write it. 'DUET' is completely different from what i expected from the novel .Overall i feel it was a good novel.Let me know when you are planning to write the next chapter






Well if you'd like to read all of DUET, I'd suggest you start with the first book XDD DUET is the sequel to my finished novel on here, LAPIS
New chapters are being uploaded a lot so I hope to see you reading LAPIS and the rest of DUET!
Thanks!
~Maddie



flyingwaves says...


Ok thanks for reply




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