I place the pill in my mouth, swig some water and swallow. At first, I feel nothing. My friend assures me to wait a few minutes.
So, I do. I take in my environment. I hear the low hum of the air conditioner, the cacophony of the outside world.
I watch the walls that surround me, a small basement. Nothing impressive, some heavy metal poster on the wall. Crumpled beer cans litter the floor.
My friend squeezes my shoulder.
‘I think Im starting to feel something now,’ he tells me. I chuckle. I start to feel the same.
It feels like Im slipping away from my body. I have become liberated from the boundaries my suit of flesh has limited me to.
I feel invincible. A gun fired at me and bullets would bounce off. A car strikes me and the metal crumples against my titanium skin.
I feel… at peace. For the first time, I feel the undeniable blanket of happiness. I sink into the couch, into darkness, into joy.
I am brought through a technicolor land of magnificent creatures and mushroom houses and big titted fairies.
My bliss is short lived as I am suddenly ripped from my fantasy world, back into the desaturated, miserable reality.
The high is over, already. I thank my friend for the wonderful experience. That feeling, I’d never forget it. That world, I want to go back.
I ask my friend where I can get the high, he tells me a place. I go and inspect the prices. It’s expensive, but my world misses me, I need to go back, at any cost.
I buy some. I give the dealer a stack of bank notes and they lodge a packet into my palm. I head back to the basement.
I pour myself some water, place the pill on my tongue, and drive that magic pill down my throat, the currents pushing it deep.
I wait, patiently. I shall revisit my world, with its technicolor shades and virgin fairies. It needs me, and I need it.
Then I feel it. That sinking feeling, my soul ascending from my body. I am ready, ready to be taken to my promised land.
Something is different though, it’s less magical. The shades of vibrancies have lost their brightness, it feels drained.
I need my original high. I take more. I still don’t get that mystical feeling, nothing beat the first time. I must keep taking it, I crave that magical feeling.
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140,017 Literary Works • 672,879 Reviews
This is one of my first proper reviews so it might not be as amazing as some others, but I hope it helps!
Ok.. my original thoughts straight after reading it are, it’s an interesting depiction. I say this because I personally haven’t been high before but I’ve obviously heard descriptions of it and none of them are quite as detailed or even similar to this. I think that this is a great describing piece and it does a have a great depiction of addiction. What I’d do to improve is making sure grammar is correct, maybe describe what the characters fantasy is before showing the reader bliss, because it might come across differently, that might not make sense. If not please feel free to disregard. Anyway the only other thing would be to extend the end of it to show the addiction more so, otherwise this is great. Most of my feedback is basically just you could do it if you feel like it but it’s great with or with. I would love to see an extended version as well… good job!
Thank you, I did feel like structurally I wrote it a little weakly but I appreciate your praise
Hellooo!! This is a really interesting depiction of addiction because I like that the story doesn't begin with the character necessarily wanting to destroy themselves or even trying to escape some HUGE dramatic tragedy...
The basement feels dull before you explicitly describe reality as "desaturated" later on. So when the narrator enters this ridiculously colorful fantasy containing "magnificent creatures and mushroom houses," there's a big contrast between where their physical body actually is and where they emotionally perceive themselves to be.
And honestly the slightly immature/random nature of the fantasy works for me, LOL. It makes the experience feel indulgent rather than presenting intoxication as some profound enlightenment, since it really isn't like that.
& then:
I really like this development from "flesh" to "titanium." Their ordinary body is restrictive and vulnerable, but their intoxicated imagined body is practically indestructible. I love how that comes across!!! So the experience removes their sense of human limitation, which interests me on if this is against addiction OR portraying it positively.
That makes
pretty significant because suddenly the attraction isn't just the hallucinations!! The narrator has discovered a version of themselves that feels safe, invulnerable, and somehow happy despite what else is going on. THAT gives me much more reason to understand why they become obsessed with returning there.
However, I think this is also somewhere the story could go deeper. "For the first time" implies that this character has basically never experienced this degree of happiness before, which is a pretty enormous character detail!! But we don't really know anything about why normal reality is so miserable to them. What makes their reality miserable? Loneliness? Depression? Boredom? Poverty? Alienation? Simply being ordinary?
You don't necessarily need some tragic backstory! Actually, I think it could be interesting if the narrator's normal life really isn't extraordinarily terrible. Addiction doesn't require a character to have the saddest conceivable life. But showing a little more about what feels emotionally empty to them would make the fantasy world's appeal much stronger.
Overall, great concept!!!
Take care,
Ulyana xoxo
Thank you, Im glad you liked it, and thanks for the feedback!