Memories

by ScarlettFire

Published March 19, 2010

In Poetry 2010

This could either be song lyrics or a poem. Tell me what you think. Also, this was written in memory of my Nan.
Memories.
I touched a fragment of your memory
I felt you drift near me & I couldn’t move
I could hear your love, a sweet, enchanting melody
A fragment of your memory

I want to tell you to stay near me
But I can’t speak the words
So I touched a fragment of your memory
And suddenly, you were there, beside me

You were whispering words to me
Of your love and your memories
I smiled and closed my eyes
I felt you near me

But I still couldn’t speak those words
I could feel your radiance, a light shining in the darkness
And I knew that you would never leave me
Because you were already there, beside me

So I touched that fragment of your memory
Felt you there, beside me
That sweet, enchanting melody
Forever a fragment of your memory

Comments & reviews · 7
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Skydreamer
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Skydreamer commented Comment · Jun 24, 2012

Hiya!

This was beautiful! I really loved the pattern you had! I honestly have no critique, but I have to say that it was truly inspirational.

Thewritersdream

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eldEr
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eldEr commented Comment · Mar 23, 2010

Wow! Really good! I might seperate where you placed a comma in the middle of the lines into two seperate lines, but that's just me!
It flowed so well!!
I loved it! You have a gift!

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ScarlettFire
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ScarlettFire commented Comment · Mar 23, 2010

Thank you. I'm glad you like it. And maybe I'll review... I don't review often, but I'm definitely checking it out.

Thanks for reviewing.

~Scarlett.

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callmeLily73
Review
callmeLily73 wrote a review Review · Mar 23, 2010

I Love you poem very much! It is very creative and inspiring! I like your choice of wording, its unlike many others and i love it! You have loads of talent keep on writing!

and please check out and review my Romantic Fiction story, a new home a new love. I would greatly appreciate it!

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ScarlettFire
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ScarlettFire commented Comment · Mar 23, 2010

Thank you. Sometimes I'm nearly in tears or actually crying when I read this. Yeah, it is a little jumbled and it's meant to be... And sometimes my poetry is jumbled and such, it's mainly on purpose though. Thanks again, for the review. I wasn't expecting any.

~Scarlett.

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Davidmartin
Review
Davidmartin wrote a review Review · Mar 23, 2010

Hey, Scar or Red! (I hope I'm right) I really liked this poem especially the softness of the narrative, for once I just couldn't find a parallel between between the poem I read and a poet I love (it's very individualistic). I also liked how you repeated 'fragment of your memory' it gave the work a sort of wholesomeness. The only real criticism I can give is that the thread of thought towards the end seems a little jumbled. Though I still love it.

Hope to hear from you soon :D
David



Life is like a bag of potatoes, it starts out rough, but can turn into something beautiful (and yummy).
— Ley