I once believed - so silently, so deep
That maybe your heart was mine to keep
In fleeting glances, your voice so light
I found the smallest stars in simple sight.
The way you glanced did it mean more?
Or was it just a dream I was hoping for.
The way you said my name soft & slow
It set my heart aflour
A single smile was a sudden spark
And suddenly I got lost in the dark
But now I see what was hidden
You were never mine & I was never yours
You were The admired , The perfect , The one above...
While I stood there simple & small
With a silent love that would never fall.
I soon realised I was just a passing face:
Easily lost , Easy to replace.
And something broke so sad so true
The day the silence replaced you.
No goodbye, No smile
Just an unsaid ending like a mile
Some stories you know...
Fade without a close
Some questions linger like a ghost
But My Dear
If you ever knew
The quiet way I fell for you
No matter what , no matter where
A tiny part of me is forever tied to
You
Not loud , not for the world to see
But softly, endlessly, parallelly...
Just yours,
Yours Parallelly.
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140,939 Literary Works • 673,761 Reviews
Hello! Hope here,
this is going to be a bit short since I don't see too many issues, but mostly I just want to point out that all of the stanzas are grouped together. YWS automatically gets rid of empty lines, and i'm not sure if thats what is going on here, but you can have a blank line by just adding a space in the line you want to remain blank. Your dashes and commas also have an extra space between them and the word.
other than that? I like the symbolism of parallels for a poem, i've never thought about that before, but it works nicely here.
FELLOW YWS MEMBERRR!!
Literally my situation Ily you already :3 Here are some tips
-try adding moreish bolded or italic wordings to the poem or line to enhance the depth or emotion of the line .
-to at least most of the lines, try to add more punctuations and not end with nothing and at least a comma, period, exclamation point, etc. .
- try not to use "..." too often (I don't know why I like it but it's a tip I've gotten to a poem like this).
Anyways I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! Your range of words are large and it gives it more feeling and specificness for me to imagine it (well to me I think I can image it very well). And the poem itself is very relatable and I think this might even be my new favorite!!
-Klee 2.0 :3
Nataleee