Are you watching me tonight?
Can you feel the pain in me?
I lie with my cheek against ice
As tears drip on the linoleum
Stay with me, I’m begging
Till the darkness fades away
I know you’re busy all the time,
But can’t you just hold me?
Three weeks and it’s still hard
Wavering, wondering if this is truth
Just take the pain away, is that okay?
‘Cause I’m unable to breathe
Does the rain mimic your tears
Or am I just holding on into something
Something that is not there?
I’m still caught and wondering
Three weeks and the pain is there
Tried to look at the petals, not the thorns
Weight on my shoulders’ increasing
And I’m not strong enough to hold it in
Three weeks and I’m holding on to cobwebs
Will someone pull me up?
Three weeks and I’m trying to hope
But the light is getting fainter and fainter
Three weeks and I’m able to hold my head high
Three weeks and I hope I will believe in you
Some time please and I know that I will be okay…
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,552 Literary Works • 673,424 Reviews
Why did you write the last stanza in just three verses?
The repetition isn't quite helpful too.
4/10