Maybe We're Alike

hi rose.prithamrittika here for a review. your poem is nice. i like the starting "i am a girl. i am a girl
my name is anne. my name is
marie
my dad is a nazi;my dad is dead
my mom is dead;my mom is in the resistance....
the two lines are really very emotional and touching.
the total poem is very sweet and touching. in this poem do you want to tell about tow friends or two sisters. this thing i dont understand. but every line of the poem is sweet and touching. i love this. i like the though of the poem.i like your imagination and emotion......... keep writing poems........

I really like this poem. In short its fantastic. But there are a couple of errors. In the line of the German girl she said "I just eat food without ask" I think that you meant 'asking' not "ask" and the word "just" makes the line seem to long in comparison with the Jewish girls response. This poem also left me with a lot of questions which it kept me reading. The underlying emotions were portrayed well. One more nit-pick. In the line "But we have to fight the Jewish Resistance" you may have been able to shorten "Jewish Resistance" to 'Jews' to keep the length relatively the same through out.

Thanks for writing this captivating piece.

I would like to say thanks to everyone who has commented, reviewed, or liked my poem. Thanks Again!!!

~Rose

Andy here for a little review. All I can say at the moment is.. Wow. This was absolutely amazing in my own opinion. I've never actually seen or heard of a two voice poem and I loved this. I also loved how deep it was with only very few words. There's no need for corrections of any kind. I just can't get over how heart whelming this was. I don't even have many words because it left me quite speechless. Great work you have here.

Hey there! I really like this poem, poems with two different viewpoints are always very entertaining to read.
I love how you adopted a solemn tone, although at first it seemed like there were just going to be two nine-year-old girls. The poem really showed that they were more than that.
In the line "I just eat food without ask" did you mean "asking" instead of "ask"? It seems like it doesn't really fit, unless it was intentional.
Overall, I just really loved this poem. I hope you do more of this kind!

-Falconer

Hey there! I really like this poem, poems with two different viewpoints are always very entertaining to read.
I love how you adopted a solemn tone, although at first it seemed like there were just going to be two nine-year-old girls. The poem really showed that they were more than that.
In the line "I just eat food without ask" did you mean "asking" instead of "ask"? It seems like it doesn't really fit, unless it was intentional.
Overall, I just really loved this poem. I hope you do more of this kind!

-Falconer

Do you know CHRISSY321? She wrote something a lot like this. Same topic, same format... are you guys doing this for school?

Awww! This is so cute! I apoligize... I can't think of anything to change... but I can sugest that you write more poems in this format!
~ Authorian

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that i love two-voiced poems since they show different people but at the same time, they rejoice at the end with the same thought. Like i said before, i love the ending of this poem since they are saying how they feel or how their feelings rejoice after.

Whenever I read a poem, i try to look for mistakes that could be anyway but sometimes a poem could not have any mistakes and praise it; that is like this poem since this poem has a great tone, rhyming is somewhat found within this poem, also there is a little beat to it like a heartbeat beating against a nimble chest, talking to the enemy or something.

I read about the Holocaust in 8th grade and am (trying) to read Anne Frank's Diary before I leave spring break. Also, from what i remember from the Holocaust, is what you have write which is pretty fantastic if i do say so.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling of my forever speech but that is my way of saying i love this poem so much.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

Hey there RosePetal8965! CelticThunder1438 here to review your work! Let me just say I really liked this poem/ story! I am new at poetry myself, so I am inspired by the smallest things I am and Irish-Canadian myself and love foreign countries. I loved how you port trade how everybody is the same. The English always thought of the Irish as slaves, cattle to be sold. Nothing more. Yet in reality they were human beings. The same God created the English and the Irish, even though they are nothing alike. If the world would just realize we are equal and all should have the same rights, this world would be a better one. \

I loved how you said the whole "I'm sorry" at the end. That was just beautiful. And I loved how they were young still kinda innocent little 9 year old girls. It shows the world still has some innocence to it, even if that is very little.
Anyways, GREAT POEM! Keep up the fighting for peace, words can do GREAT things!!

~ Selina or CelticThunder1438

Hello, RosePetal, I'm Bella - here to review, as promised
Well... what can I say? Wow! This is a rather poignant example of dual voice poetry (please be aware that I am a prose/narrative writer myself.) The way you handled the topic of the Holocaust was also commendable, which made it all the more moving.
I liked the way some of the lines matched, to show that the girls were ultimately the same at heart. It's a lovely message. The "I'm sorry" was a brilliant ending. Genius!

One thing I would say is that the title needs an apostrophe for "we're" because it's the contraction of we are. So, it would be "Maybe We're Alike", but that's very much fixable.

I see that you have already capitalised Jew, so I don't need to say that anymore.

Okay, I think that's it from me. Let me know if you have any questions. I'm very intrigued as to what you will post next...

First of all I really liked this poem. I loved the idea of a two voice poem. I will try it one day. I can tell that your poem takes place in the holocaust. I like the part where you say that they are missing the same people. I also loved the part where you put at the end I am sorry. This poem was really touching to me. I like where you put the opposites and then you went to there similar. I really did like this poem. Keep up the good work.

Write On!!!

~Marie