You are the world in our eyes,
You are the smile on our faces,
Your innocent, free from lies,
Your joy takes us to heavenly places.
You are wrapped with love,
drenched in purity.
A wonderful gift sent from above,
To fulfill your destiny.
You are so delicate and graceful,
Filled with cheer and glee.
Your mind is so playful,
And you soar like a bird ever so free.
You are a precious stone,
In the sight of all.
You are the strength to our bones,
Whenever we fall.
So my dear child,
You are my angel in the night.
Out of love and joy compiled,
You are the future, you are the light.
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140,613 Literary Works • 673,552 Reviews
Wow. That's awesome! All in all I couldn't find anything wrong with it. The rhyming is perfect, the rhythm is pretty good although in the first stanza when you use the word innocent, I might change it to innocence just to keep the rhythm consistent. I find this poem describes the joy a child brings perfectly. The main reason why I decided to read it is because I love children, and love it when someone is able to describe the love and joyful emotions children inflict upon people. Keep it up! I can't wait to read more of your work!
Thank you so much for your review!
Flame here, with some quick thoughts!
. In some instances, as well, commas were unnecessary (for example, the part above should run "...precious stone/In the sight of all./You are strength to our bones/Whenever we fall.").
Sorry for writing so little; there's not much to say about your poem! It was sweet and true (although, to be honest, I don't work well with little kids), you had perfect fluency, and the rhyming worked well!
My favorite lines:
"You are a precious stone,
In the sight of all.
You are the strength to our bones,
Whenever we fall."
As one of the grammar police, however, I am obligated to remind you that "you're" is the contraction of "you are", not "your"
Happy writing! Can't wait to read more of your work!
thankyou ill take a note of that!
Hey there RoseCrown!
Wow, I really like your poem
The rhythm is perfect, I love your usage of words and I agree with the concept too
I love how you portrayed children's innocence. It's a beautiful poem. <3
I don't think there is anything that needs to be changed or any mistakes. It's amazing
Well done!
Love,
Me :3
thanks a ton!