To you with emotions that swirled through your head. Whose eyes are bloodshot red
from the alcohol and remorse.
Whose hands are uncontrolled and clueless
swerving and shifting at the wheel.
Whose back that has to bear and carry
the burden of being the cause of someone’s death.
You whose heart needs to discover something new
and bring back what has been lost.
Your crash may have prevented new memories
but I still have a few old ones stashed.
In a hidden place there is a dusty, worn shoebox
that hold videos capturing
her illuminating smiles and bubbly laughs
replaying the passionate and gorgeous tunes on her violin
letting me experience her company once again but only for brief moments.
You don’t know her funniest joke she told
that made peoples smiles grow wider and eyes glow brighter.
You don’t know I am the only keeper of her old jerseys,
all of them a faded color blue
and all of them insistently signed by her beloved teammates and coaches
at the end of each season.
I’m sure you were never so devoted and diligent as Lea was.
I’m sure you never had so many people love you.
I am gracious our last moments
together were pleasant and happy.
We enjoyed our breakfast together chatting about our plans for the day
and our events yesterday.
She left with her usual cheerful grin and left us with goodbye kisses stuck to our cheeks
looking forward to the day ahead oblivious to her dark fate.
I was braiding Lea’s sister’s, Lily’s hair was when
about the time when everything abruptly went dark, black, and cold.
What do I want in return?
I want that you keep your car perfectly on the road.
Never swerving off the coarse.
Never going down a street
with dark clouds ahead.
Especially to never interfere with the innocent cars around you.
How many attempts do I have to make to get my heart working properly again?
I request that you bring back Lea’s spirit
to those all over the country
by bringing the joy and smiles to people like she did.
I ask that you go out and travel to the four corners of the United States,
Washington, Main, Florida, and California.
Create four vibrant, stunning whirligigs in her likeness
with your own hands and place them at these locations.
Then let them spin and be displayed
Let people’s spirits be lifted by Lea’s.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,776 Reviews
It's a really nice poem. It dragged my heart down in sadness -
Amazing.
Thanks for the comment.
Although, how did you find this work?
Okay so this was a great poem. But there were a few grammar errors. You kinda spelled Murder wrong. However, this is a well written poem, and the flow is great. It kinda brought back things that are going on throughout the country. Your poem brought tears to my eyes, but it was great.
But I would suggest going back in the poem and fixing words that weren't spelled correctly. Other than that this was a great poem. Keep writing because you are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok firstly the heading, I believe you spelt Murder wrong. Anyway i really love this piece, it is a well written poem, and it flows nicely, though it did make me very sad
.
Anyway I congratulate you on a well written poem. Though I have a few things that I suggest that you could fix.
Firstly: Whose hands are uncontrolled and clueless s
I think you don't need the extra s in clueless. Maybe next time before posting carefully read through your poem and it will make more sense.
Secondly:
I suggest that you split the poem up into paragraphs, which will make it easier to read, and not so bulky. When I looked at it first, I was like man, that will take a bit to read, it would be different personally if you split it up.
Thirdly: I don't believe in this sentence that:
werving and shifting at the wheel.
That werving is a word, I think you meant swerving or weaving.
well over all I really enjoyed this, and with a few fixes, this would be a great story!!
Thumbs up!!
Jack
I am sort of embarassed that I spelled murder wrong. The reason for the weird words is because I was trying to put it into chunks. I need to be more careful.
Don't be embarrassed its fine, you did a really good job!!