z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Amoung the Living

by Redbox275


INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

Students are sitting in class, bored, and listening to a student presenting a keynote.

JOEY, 16, rushes into class.

JOEY (panting)

Sorry, I’m late.

People ignore his entrance including the presenter who keeps talking. Joey takes an empty seat in the back.

JOEY (CONT’D) (v.o)

All my life I’ve always been alone. Nobody talks to me, and I don’t talk to them. However, recently I have new company.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Joey leaves the classroom and walks into the hallway. Around him there are many students and some other people who seemed to be wounded. One person has their face burned, another has a rope around their neck, and another has a gun wound through their shirt.

The one with the noose around their neck, MEREDITH, a mischievous, spunky girl, swings an arm around Joey’s neck.

MEREDITH

So, how was Mrs. Silvia’s class or

Mrs. Saliva’s. Oh you got a little....

(gestures to problem area) ...there

Meredith goes to wipes the bit of moisture off his face. Joey leans away.

JOEY (V.O)

Not to say I enjoy being able to talk to dead people.

Joey unhooks her arm and makes a beeline for the next class. Meredith chases after him. 

MEREDITH

Awe, Joey, why do you have to be

like that? No wonder you have no friends.

Joey ignores her. He continues down the hallway. He stops when he sees a Karly. Karly, 16, is a pretty and popular girl. Her friends surround Karly as she is weeping over her breakup with her boyfriend.

FRIEND 1

Awe, Karly, a Jake is an idiot.

FRIEND 2

Yeah, you were a great girlfriend.

I’ll kick his butt for cheating.

FRIEND 3

He doesn’t deserve a girl like you.

Jake looks upon Karly concerned.

MEREDITH (teasingly)

Go on, comfort her.

Joey walks away and continue down the hall.

MEREDTH

(smirking, knowing he will

fail)

Talk to her. Don’t be a wimp. At least try.

Joey sighs. He turns around and goes up to the group of girls timidly.

JOEY

Uh, h-hey, K-karly. Are you okay?

The girls ignore him. Joey whirls around and walks to his next class.

MEREDITH Better luck next time?

INT. LIBRARY - DAY

Joey is watching Karly and her friends from afar and behind am upsidedown book. Meredith appears beside him. 

MEREDITH (sarcastic)

You definitely don’t look like a stalker right now.

JOEY (absentmindedly)

Good

Meredith grabs his book and flips right side up.

MEREDITH

Why are you even into her? She’s

just another one of those stuck up popular girl.

Meredith touches her noose around her neck.

MEREDITH (CONT’D) Trust me, I would know about

popular girls.

Joey notices Meredith pained look on her face.

JOEY

Meredith? How did you die?

MEREDITH

(wrestles harshly with her

noose)

Geeze, what do you think?

JOEY

No I mean why did you kill

yourself?

MEREDITH (mutters)

Because sell-centered monsters like her.

JOEY She’s not a monster.

MEREDITH

How would you know? Sorry to break

it to, you but you only learn little things from watching afar.

JOEY

I know more things than you think.

She’s really observant about her surroundings and wants to be a

zoologist. (MORE) 

(MORE) 

JOEY (CONT'D)

When we would wait for the bus

together, we would talk she’d to point out different kinds of birds to me but then her boyfriend started driving and we don’t talk anymore.

She’s not just pretty but she’s nice and knows how to talk people. I wish we’d talk again.

Meredith smiles as idea comes to her.

MEREDITH

I’ll help you get her to notice

you.

JOEY

Glad to hear you don’t consider

your pestering help but wait how will you get her to notice me?

MEREDITH (smirking)

With my special skills. (winks)

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Karly is walking down the hallway. It is quiet, and she is alone. Suddenly Karly feels colds and hold her books up to her chest. She looks behind her but nobody is there.

Meredith suddenly pops into view behind a post behind Karly. She is smiling deviously as she eyes her

MEREDITH (whispers)

Finally I can get out of here.

Meredith runs from behind the post and charges at Karly.

CUT TO:

EXT. KAWAIAH’O COURTYARD - DAY

Loud screams can be heard from inside the building.

EXT. KAWAIAH’O COURTYARD - MORNING

Karly is walking to school. She is sees the Kawaih’o building and hugs her books to her chest and turns away afraid. 

She goes over to a table and sees her friends crying and wearing black.

KARLY

Hey, guys what’s wrong?

Her friends ignore her.

Emma?

KARLY (CONT’D)

She goes to one of her friend and tries to touch her friend’s shoulder but stops when she hears someone talk to her:

JOEY H-hey Karly.

Karly whirls around and sees Joey standing behind her awkwardly waving. Karly jumps back shocked.

KARLY Joey! Is that you?

JOEY (confused)

Yeah, it’s....me

KARLY

But this-this is impossible. If I

can see you...

Karly’s eyes widen. She looks from her friends to Joey.

JOEY What’s wrong?

KARLY

What do you mean ‘What’s wrong’?

Joey still doesn’t understand.

KARLY (CONT’D) Joey, you’re...we’re dead.

Joey comes to the realization. He looks over to Karly’s friends, and Meredith is standing there too. She is smiling wickedly. She says to Joey:

MEREDITH Now you know.

Joey stares helplessly as Karly’s murderer fades away. 


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User avatar
20 Reviews


Points: 566
Reviews: 20

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Wed Nov 23, 2016 7:48 pm
horseswrite wrote a review...



Wow, this is really great! Please, Please, PLEASE write more! The only thing I have to say is that there was a lot of times where there were run-on sentences or sentences were missing a comma. I suggest going back and act like you are talking the part and fill in any natural pauses you were missing. I have to say this again, but this is such an amazing story! please write more, I can't wait to know what happens next! :D




User avatar
12 Reviews


Points: 311
Reviews: 12

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Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:18 pm
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milabales11 wrote a review...



Wow. Just wow. This was really good and I couldn't keep my eyes away from it. At first I didn't want to read it because it was long, but I'm glad I read the whole thing. It was very clever to have Meredith kill Karly so that she would notice him. You did a good job not revealing that Joey was dead, but still making it interesting.

I did find a typo in, "Joey is watching Karly and her friends from afar and behind am upside down book." I think you meant from afar and behind AN upside down book.

You did a great job and I can't wait to see more from you. Keep writing!





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