How do you fight those tiny little feelings?
You know the ones I am talking about,
The ones that make you feel like you are next to nothing.
That any action you try to make for yourself ends up
Blowing up in your face,
Bringing about your defeat.
How do you convince yourself,
That you are doing everything that you can?
Why is it that you can’t trust the ones around you
Telling you that everything you are doing is okay?
~
Instead you listen to the voices in your head.
You listen to the dark thoughts.
The “I’m not good enough”
The “ I can’t do anything right”
Others just don’t understand.
They try to boost you up
But they don’t understand.
How can they understand those
Dark little thoughts
just crawling around your brain?
~
No, the feeling isn’t simple.
It’s not the “I’m not good enough”
Or the “I’m just screwed up”
Those are just the masks.
It’s the fear of being forgotten
Becoming a faded away face
The one that makes nothing out of
this useless life.
This utterly pointless life.
How would they understand?
~
They are the ones that are
always noticed and shown.
They are the ones that are made
into examples and showered
in so many high praises.
They don’t know how it is
being lost in the shadows
of their greatness.
I have tried time and time again
but all I ever do is fall.
~
I listen to the voices because they are always there
They are the only things I have left now.
For I will be the Unknown Girl.
The girl everyone thinks about occasionally
Saying “ I wondered what happened to her”
When there is ever a reunion.
They don’t understand
At some point you just learn to not get back up.
Because the pain from failing is too much
and just being forgotten is so much easier.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello, RedHood! I'm Artemis28, and I'm here for a review. I like your username, by the way. ^.^
Okay, so first off, the mood is really obvious. Helplessness, or something, right? Feeling like you can't do anything right and that the people can do anything are too magnificent for you. Let me tell you, that feeling's really common among many people, and you captured it really well. Nice job on that.
Some things you might want to look at: maybe you could add on something about people comparing you to those people who can do anything. Maybe something like, "They say, 'Look at her--why is she not more like him?'" You know, something expressing the frustration of this main character about being compared to the good people.
Overall you did an amazing job writing this poem. You have a large potential, RedHood!
XOX,
Artemis28
Hello there ^_^ I'm here to review your awesome poem!
You really capture the feeling of depression in this poem, and the flow of the poem is nice and consistent all the way through. You really have vented here, from what I can see!
I like how you use questions in this poem, questions that only you ask to yourself, yet they're ones you can't really answer either.
You really show how you feel left out and unknown, and I find that really cool, because it shows you've had this experience and are able to share it in a creative format.
This is a really cool poem! ^.^ Keep writing!
Huggles, BornLoser
Hi!
I don't have time for a massive review but I just wanted to comment because this poem is absolutely amazing! I think you've really capture the depression people get from incompetency and I could definitely relate personally. Well done - I hope you keep writing.
Tick tock