I wrote this awhile back...Tell me what you think!
Perspective
Life is perfect,
and you do not think
that it could be
any other way.
You go along,
uncaring,
of the problems others have.
They come to you for help,
or understanding.
Instead you give them,
"Not my problem."
Continuing like this,
you are happy.
That is,
until,
say,
a loved one dies.
Suddenly,
you care with all your heart.
You go to others,
seeking comfort.
And all you get is,
"Not my problem."
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An interesting subject to cover. The selfishness of human nature and also the need for comfort and love. These are tough subjects which I think you have tackled fairly well. I was particularly impressed by the structure, highlighting keywords, and also allowing the reader to see your perspective (no pun intended) about aspects of human nature which is a subject I love to write about. If you have time have a look at a poem of mine called sick obsession. I think you will like it. Anyway I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem. Your a talented young poet and I look forward to seeing more of your work!
-Matt
Why, thank you! I didn't expect that! Although I am going to make some edits...
Yeah. I agree with EpsonBelenus. You're really good too. I never would imagine your 14. Aaanyways, this brings up a good point about society nowadays. There's nothing grammaticaly wrong with this I don't think.
Good job anyways!!
You bring up a good point of our tendencies to maintain a strong perpetual focus on selfish nature as we are constantly using the fight or flight part of or cognition which leads one to ask, are we as humans also frightened?
This is a good piece quick to the point yet hold deep meaning that most of our age group can over look. good job.