Young Writers Society

This poem's imagery and personification create a melancholic and introspective tone. The imagery of a moonlit stroll, the last tear, and loved ones' graves evokes feelings of sadness and loss. The speaker's request for one more chance before death takes them away adds to the poem's poignancy. The repetition of "just one more" emphasises the speaker's desire for a little more time while also emphasising life's finite nature. This poem is well-crafted and evokes strong emotions in the reader, making it a memorable and impactful work of poetry.he form of the poem is simple, but effective in conveying the emotion of the speaker. The language is simple and direct, making it easy for the reader to connect with the speaker's emotions. Overall, the structure and form of the poem serve to reinforce the speaker's complex relationship with death, creating a powerful and moving poem

Hello @Thediffident here to review your piece<3
This was such a heartwarming read! I loved the concept of the story and was somehow even able to emotionally relate and connect to it. Your writing style was great, the language was simple and concise and I wasn't able to find any major grammatical errors either. Great work!

Let me kneel

Besides loved ones graves

Just one more lavish dinner

One last pray to my god

I enjoyed the story behind this poem and it wasn't nearly as confusing as some poetry I've read.

I am not an avid poet but here are a few things I noticed when reading.

The rhythm in this poetry wasn't always consistent and some patterns didn't quite seem to fit. As for me a beautiful poem flows and pauses by using patterns and spaces.
The middle of the poem was better and felt like it flowed well.

I felt in the first section the line "Oh so long" should have had a connection to the first two lines by either rhyme or semantically/conceptually.

Overall I could still feel the haunting and sorrowful request due in pant to the poetry style of the writing but even more due to the word choice. Good job on that.

I do hope you continue and improve as this looks like you're on the right track to get the feeling and just need some help with the finer details.