Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
10/21/19
Dear Arizona,
I lied and called off work. I don't think I'm ready to work full time yet, but I need full time money.
I wish I didn't think about Justin the second I wake up every morning. I know he doesn't think about me. I've checked to see if he's text me back like twenty times, even though I know he won't until the evening when he's at work. I want to get rid of my brain that still loves him, but what people don't understand is that, yes he locked me in a hotel for eight weeks and isolated me away from all of my friends and family, but he was the only human contact I had. Every thought I had or feeling I went through, I vented to him, and sometimes he cared about me like I was something more than a cum rag. It's the good times, those kind of memories that keep that small part of my brain in love with him.
Maybe one day, I can write about my Arizona adventures and actually become an author. I've always wanted to do that. I wish I could find the charger to my laptop, cause I would start using that, but I guess there's nothing wrong with using an old fashion pen and paper.
Why do I have the need to share everything I do? Especially with Justin? I think my whole issue with Justin is that he's inconsistent. So, he text me around his time (12pm), and I just sent back emojis because he never actually wants to talk to me. He answered immediately, so I thought he would be up for conversation, but every time I text “How are you?”, he never answers back, and I'm like why is that so hard to answer.
There's a million packages at our front door, but I'm too lazy to bring them in because it's so damn cold in this house.
Justin just text back saying “Don't talk to me like I'm just another friend :(”, but he is just another friend at this point. Still, it pulled at my heart too, so we had a five second conversation, and it always puts me in a better mood. Ugh. I wish he didn't have that effect on me. I wish I could brush him off as easily as he brushes me off.
Just saw a commercial for a show called Dollface. OMG, it's totally about my life right now, and it has one of my favorite actresses from Two Broke Girls in it!
I wish John was patient because if I was in any position to date, I would totally pick him. He said my smile radiates joy. And, it definitely makes me smile more thinking about that.
I find myself listening to worship music more and more. I'm afraid to jump back into religion- it's always been something that I fail at and something that overwhelms me. But, I do miss the quiet nights at my old job, listening to online sermons.
Well, I said I'd go to bed early and here it is 10:52. WTF is wrong with me. Also, Truth Is by Fantasia = life.
<3 Tiffany
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137,507 Literary Works • 672,040 Reviews
This chapter is very striking! We continue to see the conflictedness within Tiffany.
- that is so hard to wrap my head around, and definitely sounds a bit like stockholm syndrome, but you explain it really well.I think this is really insightful:
Just like in the last chapter sometimes it feels like the speaker is diverting away from the main subject either because they're distracted themselves or don't want to face what they really are trying to say. For instance, in the section trying to explain why Justin is inconsistent, in the middle of it we get this detail: - that's totally unrelated, and could be inserted anywhere else! I'm not sure if you're trying to show her distractedness or avoidance but in some ways it does under-cut the drama of some of the piece.
side-note... "Dollface" is a super entertaining show, and you should watch the whole season if you haven't! I loved it.
- here it isn't clear whether Tiffany means she wishes John would wait until she's in a position to date, or just wishes he was patient in general. Also Tiffany hasn't disclosed anything about why John is or isn't patient so it's hard as a reader to understand the logic here.
- Ah I think a lot of people can relate to this, but I appreciate your willingness to put a bit of spirituality into the character too. I think that religion is probably a big comfort for a lot people who've been in abusive situations - because God says we're worthy even in our brokenness, even when the world would reject us for it.
This is a good chapter, but I feel a bit of whiplash from the back and forth emotion in it - a few times Tiffany is silly, then without any transition it's back into sorrow and longing.
Good luck in your continued writing!
- alliyah
Thank you so much!
EverLight here with a review! This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned you may feel offended anyway
My Thoughts
Your subject was well chosen. I wish more people actually had the courage to write about this kind of thing. Plus...this idea couldn't have come at a better time for me, if you get what I mean.
Nitpicks & Grammar
Here you misspelled (unless that was intentional) the word text as texting in this two sentences-
In this sentence you missed the s for the word kinds-
Over all this was a neat story! Tag me when you get the next one written!
EverLight Out
Thank you so much! I am sorry this is relatable, but I will definitely tag you when i get the next one up.