z

Young Writers Society



seminole trees

by RandySavageElbowDrop


seminole trees
smell like death,
however,
my spirit shall live.


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621 Reviews


Points: 4984
Reviews: 621

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Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:39 am
Rook wrote a review...



Hmmm
I am curious what "seminole" you're referring to, because I can't seem to find a tree type with that name.

This is a very short poem, and while I like the tiny message it's trying to covey, I don't think it conveys it well. It sounds like the caption to something else. Why does the narrator so firmly assert that his spirit will live? Was there a question that his spirit wouldn't live? What's threatening his spirit?
How exactly does something smell like death?
The comparison seems cliched anyway. It's not a new concept.
All we get from this poem is questions, and while that can sometimes be good depending on the questions, I don't think it is good in this case. I think you need a little more detail for your readers to have a little more understanding.
As this is such a short poem, I don't have much else to say. More's the pity.
hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions! Keep writing!
~fortis




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9 Reviews


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Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:33 pm



So why must a poem make sense in order to have an effect? What I see here is a clever paradox. Perhaps a tree represents shade or a dark shadow, referencing death. But...maybe the spirit will climb to the top of the tree to live in the sky? I like to interpret poems, here's my tidbit.
Enjoyed
-Oracle




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213 Reviews


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Thu Aug 13, 2015 9:02 pm
dark wrote a review...



This is a… Very difficult poem to understand, for me at least. I've never heard of a seminole tree… And through research, I haven't been able to find such a thing exists… Let me go off what I DO know, so this isn't completely pointless.

I know a Seminole is type of Native… Annnd that's about it… Sorry, this is just too confusing to make any sense of… If this was your intent, good job, because I am stumped. :D






>barelyanythingtodowithpoem



dark says...


Well, I'm sorry, but I could not make any sense of with? You want me to make something up?





Well, you could also not review it if you didn't understand it. That would be cool.

Also, try googling "Randy Savage Seminole Tree" and you'll find a lot more answers.



dark says...


'Twas worth a shot%u2026 If you don't appreciate me at least TRYING to make an effort, then it doesn't matter to me.




Everything’s edible if you’re immortal.
— Feltrix