born a cardinal, some say i can still fly
but i feel awfully low. subject to pain
just to make others happy
is a daunting task not much others can do.
wrestling is fake, my job is fake
my life is fake,
i've heard it all.
maybe everything is fake
as i stare at my wall,
but the last person to deny passion
ended up heartbroken.
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140,071 Literary Works • 672,991 Reviews
WOW. I really like your poem! Very real, and I love the first line! This poem progresses beautifully. I will check out some of your other work! Wonderful poetry, RandySavageElbowDrop!
-ChloeJoelle
This poem has a lot of potential! I would start by maybe capitalize the beginning of each line, I think it makes it look more professional. However, many writers choose certain capitalization styles based on personal preference, so if you did it on purpose, by all means keep doing it. I also think you maybe over used the word fake, so the word loses its meaning. By only using it once, the word has more power and stands out a little more, and won't sound redundant.
I really do like the idea of this poem, I would love for you to expand and write more!!:)
Hi! this is a really promising bit of writing! Just a bit of constructive criticism, I would capitalize the start of every line, and maybe refrain from the over use of the word "fake'" as it can make the word seem redundant. However, I do like the juxtaposition between flying and feeling awfully low. Keep up the good work!
El x