z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Dandelion

by Pokeberry111


The Dandelion flows to and fro 

To and fro

Freely in the wind

The Dandelion is a lovely flower

That doesn't make me sick

I love to pick them and make a crown

And claim to be the Dandelion ruler

The Dandelion is a special flower

Because my dog would eat them

With no care

The Dandelion is a funny flower

As it roars so strong when it gets cut down

The lawnmower hates it

The Dandelion is a calm flower

It makes me think of peace

It makes me think of happiness as it flows in the wind

With it's bright yellow flower as it flows in the wind

The Dandelion is a bright flower

It makes me think of joy

And birth of new and of old


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701 Reviews


Points: 49988
Reviews: 701

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Sun Apr 04, 2021 3:31 pm
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hello!!! Here for a review!!!

Nitpicks:

The Dandelion flows to and fro
To and fro

First of all, it's repetitive. Although repetition sounds good in many poems, but here it only sounds as repetitive and rebundant. And flows is not at all a good word here. Maybe, here u could use a word like move.
It makes me think of happiness as it flows in the wind
With it's bright yellow flower as it flows in the wind

Again repetitive. Avoid it.

Overall:

It was very good. I really liked it. I loved how you described that simple flower!!! The most stunning part was when you told that it doesn't make u sick!! That's a thing mostly overlooked.

Great read. Keep writing!!

~Forever




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93 Reviews


Points: 18
Reviews: 93

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Sun Apr 04, 2021 3:05 pm
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MapleWay wrote a review...



Hey there! MapleWay here dropping by with a quick review!

This was a really cool piece about dandelions. I honestly couldn't describe them better myself! I really enjoyed how you kept repeating the word dandelion. It made the poem seem a lot more playful and fun! Also, the line, "Because my dog would eat them With no care" Brought a huge smile to my face. Because it is so true though. Dogs just seem to like eating dandelions!

Anyways great poem! Surprised it hasn't got any reviews yet!

- MapleWay




Pokeberry111 says...


Thank you ^^




I am just curious-have I ever been on the bottom quote-thingy?
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