I like the verses of the poem and I bet it's a really nice one I 'ii say. In reviewing your piece of art, I would like to say that you tried, but as imperfect as we are, there are things I hold against the write up.
First of all, the arrangement and meter of the poem is not like it, but although that's your business and you can choose to arrange your work in whatever style you want, but not to the detest of the reader, as many may not be able to get the message, especially when the words are oversepetated and linked out of surgery proportion.
Again I would like to point out the altitudinal arrangement of your words and sentence. Most of the lines are unrhymically and grammatically incorrect, like the third stanza and the rest which I won't point out for some reasons.
You know, I'm not all good, but I believe I could and would be a better writer than i am at the moment. I'm impressed that your repetitions were appropriately placeable.
You just keep the spirit up and it keeps flowing down stream.
Points: 2448
Reviews: 56
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