Young Writers Society

This poem beautifully captures the profound ache of grief after losing a loved one. The imagery of colors fading and a barren landscape reflects the emptiness and desolation felt in the wake of loss. The metaphor of a rainbow heart symbolizes the struggle to find hope amidst the darkness of grief. The worn path of love, now reduced to soot and stone, speaks to the depth of the connection shared with the departed. Ultimately, the poem grapples with the painful reality of loving and missing someone who can no longer be reached. It's a powerful exploration of the complexities of grief and the enduring strength of love.

Good morning Writer! Cupid here, thought I'd fly over a review for you poem today. (Also I'm trying out new method's like the YWS s'mores method, this one's for New years!!)

🔢 Counting Down to New Beginnings: First Impression:

(So many sad writings ＞︿＜) You always find ways to capture my attention, your opening lines are so captivating with the thought of grief and longing in the poem. You express the complexity of loving someone and the faced when that love is no longer present. The use of rhetorical questions also adds a touch of introspection, making the reader ponder the difficult emotions associated with loss The reference to colors gone astray creates a sense of desolation and sets the for the rest of the story.

📝 Setting Resolutions: Room Improvements!

I couldn't really find anything that really needs to be changed, your grammar is good and the format is done nicely! A little nit-pick here, maybe try strengthening your transitions and flow between thoughts and images? I feel like it'll create a more seamless reading experience. But other then that well-done!

✨Shining night stars: Highlights of Piece

What really stands out in this story is your use of beautiful imagery and metaphors used to convey the emotions of grief and longing. The comparison of "sunset sky blinking down to where shadows lie" creates a poignant visual representation of the between light and darkness. The reference to a "rainbow heart saturating the hurt and dread" adds a touch of hope in the midst of sorrow. The line,

" feet are worn to blood and bone, the path reduced to soot and,"

"What in the world is one to do when they love someone, as I loved you?"

"Where can it put its rainbow heart when color like a rubber dart will jump right off that barren land, land in my empty, hand?"

- "Its feet are worn to blood and bone, the path reduced to soot and stone."

hey hey! tea here with a review on your lovely work ! I'll be using my bubble tea method <3 ehe

Tea Base: The first impression. What did I think about this when I read it first?

Oh boy... where do I start? You began this poem with a beautiful starting line:

What in the world is one to do,

When they love someone, as I've loved you?

and what in the world is one to say,

when all the colours’ve gone astray

and left me with a sunset sky

that blinks down to where shadows lie..

where can it put its rainbow heart?

when colour like a rubber dart

will jump right off that barren land,

land in my empty, vibrant hand

where it saturates the hurt and dread,

the same path love is made to tread,

its feet are worn to blood and bone,

the path reduced to soot and stone.

For what in the world am I to do,

when I love and miss and can’t reach you?