I sit in a brightly lit room.
Hearing the rain pitter-pattering against the window.
Never really embracing life;
Human as I am I took for granted,
The life I was given.
It may not be the best;
But really which is?
I love my life,
And everything it had given me,
Everyone I have met.
I wouldn't change it,
Wouldn't go back in time.
'Tis my life and mine alone,
With it's bumps and curves.
Its shown me purpose,
Gave me a meaning.
Shown me loss yet also,
It has shown me love.
For that I will never forget,
Just how lucky I am
To have been granted
This fine life I live.
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140,460 Literary Works • 673,233 Reviews
The way you've understood the meaning of life at an early age is so pleasing and the way you've described is more pleasing.It's always a treat to watch people giving so much importance to their life,though there are many obstacles,chaos around them.
The lines "I wouldn't change it,Wouldn't go back in time"
always works ,have no regrets.totally loved it.
Great work, keep writing.
Awe thank you so much!
Jaylin here just leaving a review. The poem is great but I have just a few critiques. My main critique is the lack of a diverse literary devices (idioms, metaphor, personification). I know it is hard to write poems sometimes but try your best to add more literary devices. My second critique is more of a personal opinion. I suggest you create titles that have subliminal meanings or titles that are creative so that you can draw in a larger crowd. Anyways, the writing is great just a few small critiques but overall you are doing fantastic! I hope you excel in your writing!
Thank you!
Hello ! Silberfee here for review, the poem is direct and clear and 100% relatable but I didn't like the lack of literary techniques. The only device you use is auditory imagery
in the entire poem. The rest of the poems are statements which is a great start. You know what you want to write, you present a hypothesis of not liking life and ending with a conclusion that life is a balance of good and bad. As the reader however, I want to know what are the good parts of the speaker's life that makes it worth living. What is the meaning to the speaker's life? As you may know meaning in life varies from each individual. At the point of the poem where you speak about meaning, this is also a great opportunity to use stylistic devices to create a romantic image in the reader's mind :How does the meaning of your life make you feel?
Is it visually, auditory, sensually pleasing?
WHat does it make you think of?
For example in Carol Ann Duffy's poem 'Anne Hathaway' Duffy makes Shakespeare's love for his wife Hathaway meaningful by describing his imagination; the bed that they both sleep in is the second best bed, but that is dominated by the rich imageryin the poem as the bed is paralleled to a 'spinning world of forests, castles....' etc
Thank you!
Hi there!
So, just a few things I noticed and have a few suggestions about. Lets get started! So first of all, the second line, I would change 'Hear' to 'Hearing. When you read it, the first line sounds like it is in present tense; "I sit in a brightly lit room,
Hearing the rain pitter-pattering against the window."
It fits into the poem better. The rest is just a few small words. I would change "Had" to 'Has' again, I think it fits into the poem better. "Gave" maybe change to 'Given'. Again, it depends on whether you mean it to be present tense or past tense. Starting from the first line, it sounds like present tense.
"Shown me loss yet also" I would just switch around the words, so maybe something like this;
"Yet it has shown me loss also."
That's all I noticed, it is a good poem, really like the meaning you put into the words. I hope this review was helpful! Keep writing!
Thank you!
Welcome!