The tears we shed for mother earth
Are nothing but a lie
We cut and bruise and maim her
While everyone seems to cry
Her fish choke in the ocean
Her forests burn on land
She gave birth to all in creation
Only to die by the hand of man
We fill ourselves with gluttony
We slaughter our distant kin
Waging a war on our planet
A war we can never win
Soon we will choke on air
Our city’s will burn to the ground
Because we have poisoned our mother
She cannot take care of us now
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This goes very deep into the heart and mind of the readers. I love this poem as it shows humanity's ignorance of mother earth or as the title reads 'Gaia.' That's another point too, I like how instead of using the old, boring words you've used descriptive language that hooks the reader. My only suggestion is if you could maybe use commas or periods but that's just my picky me, excellent work!
Mmmmm.....
Deep
Wow, very deep. I like how you used advanced vocabulary such as gluttony and distant kin. I don't see a lot of that here. And also the fact that you touched on a topic that society seems to have forgotten. The only part that I didn't understand is the name. Gaia? What does it mean? Other than that minor problem I applaud your work.
Nightmare's rating: 5 out of 5 stars!
I have one word for this poem 'amazing'. I really liked your poem it is short and sweet (except for the fact that it is not exactly a happy topic). I liked the rhyming scheme to the poem and of course i loved the content. I would especially like to say that the selection of the title is really good since Gaia is the greek earth godess (i don't like her much due to being a huge fan of Percy Jackson). I totally agree with Charizard821 you should definitely get into the Literary Spotlight. This poem really made me realize what we are doing to our mother earth and as you said in the lines 'She gave birth to all in creation
Only to die by the hand of man'
I love the way you have used hard words but not overloaded the poem with them because then you just have to sit with the dictionary while reading the poem and that is annoying.
I think my most favourite part was this-
Soon we will choke on air
Our city’s will burn to the ground
Because we have poisoned our mother
She cannot take care of us now
this line leaves a lot of impact on the reader. I love the way you have written normal things in such a beautiful way. You have let us know by these lines that we ourselves are the cause to our own doom. I love the last line since it made me wonder about things like what will happen now ? in all awesome poem. great job keep it up. I hope to see more of your work int he future. If anyone likes this review please like and follow.
I knew at least one Percy Jackson fan would comment about the name! But thank you for the review your words mean a lot to me.
Yeah.......finally a fellow Percy Jackson fan.
Amazing poem. I'm predicting right now that this is gonna hit Literary Spotlight for sure. You totally deserve it. You know, I've always been an advocate of protecting the environment, but after reading your poem, I find myself thinking: "Have I really?" In all truth and honesty, no matter what we say, we're destroying our planet, and the worst part is that it's too late to do anything. Humanity has tasted innovation, and with innovation comes construction. Humanity has tasted power, and with power comes war. I think we all know in our hearts that humanity can never change. We've been the same for years. It's who we are. It's what we do. And we all know that in the end, we'll draw the short end of the straw, but if we're already doomed, why stop? And so we build on and on to try and have the slightest control over the planet, when really, it's the planet that controls us. If you look it up, it actually only takes a very small change in the air we breathe for us to all be killed. And yet, we continue to pollute it. Same goes for water. I guess in the end, our species won't last forever, but at least we can make the most of what we have. Humanity was never meant to survive eternally. With our brain power, we were destined to innovate. Therefore, we were always destined to destroy ourselves. Oops! That dragged on! About your poem; great grammar, nice use of rhymes and a good topic to write about. Keep up the creativity! With writing, I mean.
I think about this on the daily but you actually put it into words. I had to read it twice to find the rhymes, which I thought was good because it meant I wasn't distracted from the message. I like that you gave readers a reason to love for the mother earth character, who really is our planet. She provides for us. Nobody really thinks about air and such because it's been with us since birth, for free! I think it's a good take on how people will say that they support greener alternatives in everyday life but still use harmful products. That, or they only say that because they believe it's the right thing to say. Overall, I enjoyed this poem and agree with the message.