Flawed

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Along the clouds

A lonely bird flies

Wings ruffled,

Messy feathers,

The picture of

Imperfection

Though it's song

Is more beautiful than you can imagine.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Tuesday
Review
Tuesday wrote a review · Sat Mar 07, 2015 7:13 pm

Hello CapitalMonday here for a review for you. First off, i might ramble on (since I can't help myself) and secondly, i want to begin at the imagery and how you use the bird as a symbol for a human being. The imagery in this poem is amazing since you can imagine seeing the ruffled feather bird flying in the sky of dark, with the moonlight shining on its feathers then opening it's beak up to the world singing a joyful song.

The bird, in my opinion, would be that it is a human. the bird and a person are the same thing in this poem, since a person that looks like a slob can actually sing like an opera singer. This poem also has a message behind it which is don't judge a book by its cover since the outside of a person maybe be ugly looking but deep-down inside they hold secrets and dreams that could be known to anyone.

Farewell,
CapitalMonday

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LadyFiction Review

The simplicity of this poem is spectacular. You know what they say- Quality not quantity. This work is a perfect example. With such little words it sends a big message. I personally like the aspect of short and simple (in most cases). Readers can definitely connect on a personal level to this poem, which is important. Overall great job! Keep doing what you do :D!

- LadyFiction

User avatar
elysian
Comment

Wow. Um. I came to review this but this is perfect so I'll just awkwardly leave.

Aw >.< Thank you so much!

Beautiful poem, I like how've you kept it short and sweet yet were able to add plenty of detail.
I'm not sure if you did it on purpose but there is one typo
flys should be changed to flies unless you're talking about the bug rather than the action of flint.
But as far as corrections go that's all there is to mention so good job and stay fabulous!

-Carmenbluestar :)

Thanks for catching the typo! I typed this a while ago and didn't even really bother to really look it over carefully again :P Ah, well, lesson learned.

User avatar
emmals16
Review

Nightowl,

First off I thought it was funny and clever that your username has owl in it and here you are writing about feathers and birds.

I liked how it was so simple and short yet it had a very deep theme to it that was still shown even with the short text.

Because of it's shortness I can't really say a whole lot Lol! So I think that was pretty much it.

I didn't see really any spelling or punctuation errors by the way.

Keep up the great work! :)

I didn't even notice that I did that until you pointed it out! xD I guess it's just my obsession with birds kicking up again, haha.
Thank you! :D



Once you have people's attention, you have a greater responsibility to tell them something of value.
— Tobias Forge (Ghost B.C.)