[Verse 1]
Flying
as the clouds are rolling
Crying
as my tears are falling
On
the lonely people of today
Searching
I will find my answers
On
these never ending questions
I
was hoping you would lead the way
As
desperation’s getting stronger
I
know I can’t take much longer
Knowing
I’ve got something left to say
Holding
back and trying hard
Not
to break or fall apart
Out
of fear I’m pushing you away
[Chorus 1]
Guess
who’s trying to share the light
Guess
I’m trying to save the flames that burn inside
Guess
who’s trying to spread the love
Guess
that some of you just never get enough
Oh
[Verse 2]
When
you say you need a friend
I’ll
stick around until the end
When
you’re feeling cold, I’ll keep you warm
When
you’ve lost your faith and hope
Thinking
you could never cope
I’ll
hold your hand and try to stop the harm
And
as you’re slowly feeling better
The
fears you had, they no more matter
You
plan your time the way you want again
Soon
enough I start to see
I’m
forgotten when you don’t need me
I
will never be part of your plan
[Chorus 2]
Guess
who tried to share the light
Guess
I tried to save the flames that burn inside
Guess
who tried to share the love
Guess
that some of you just never get enough
And
when I’m trying to make it right
Sometimes
I feel inclined to leave myself behind
I’ll
try to push away the pain
When
my hopes and dreams are drowning in the rain
[Bridge]
Sometimes people
forget to look around
Sometimes
searching was better than what you found
Tell yourself you
matter more
Than everyone
who’s response to love is simply to ignore
[Chorus 3]
You should try to
share the light
You should try to
save the flames that burn inside
We should try to
spread the love
So maybe we won’t
be alone again when things get rough
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Sorry, I accidently double commented. I just edited it and wrote this instead. =)
Dear Natasha,
EccentricRose is here for a review! I'm not very good at it but I'll try my best. I'm sorry if anything I say is repetitive from what others may have written, because I didn't look at the other reviews for this. (I'm in a hurry) I like giving my honest opinion before looking at other reviews anyway.
First, I'd like to say that you have real talent when it comes to writing lyrics. I like to write them to but I'll never be this good. You are a master at it!
There was true depth to the song that I quite enjoyed. I know many people can relate to this and that is a good thing to have in a song.
The only thing I found was a little too long, making the rhythm change when I read it, was:
And this one:
I was wondering to break it up and not make it sound as repetitive, if this would work:
"Guess who’s trying to share the light,
I’m trying to save the flames that burn inside
Guess who’s trying to spread the love
Guess that some of you just never get enough"
And for the last stanza, this:
"You should try to share the light,
Try to save the flames that burn inside
We should try to spread the love
So maybe we won’t be alone again when things get rough"
Anyway, I'm never wuite sure of myself when I review...so I can't guartentee what I've said will help or makes any sense. But I hope it does!
Keep up with brilliant work!
~Rose
Very awesome lyrics! I love how this spoke to me because I have this problem too and I get what you're going through. Also, I would love to hear this with some music one day! I think it would make a fantastic song. Do you have a genre for this yet? Anyways, I think you did a terrific job of conveying what you think and feel very well into these lyrics. I'm sure there are so many other people that can relate to this. I hope those flames of yours don't ever burn out and that they turn into a wonderful fire. Have a nice day! -IceWinifredd
Wow! I can really sense the feeling that just bleeds from the very heart of this song! You put a lot into it, I can tell, so I will try my best to give an adequate review!
1) "As desperation’s getting stronger/I know I can’t take much longer" This is so powerful, and would be fine left the way it is, but I just have to pick on it because it's so perfect!
The latter phrase would probably read better if you had an extra syllable in it, such as saying instead, "I know I can't take it much longer" on the event that you don't want "it" in there and are focusing on saying "much" in general to everything, then maybe take "can't" and rewrite as "cannot"
2) "Knowing I’ve got something left to say/Holding back and trying hard/Not to break or fall apart/Out of fear I’m pushing you away" Can I be the first to scream that this is perfectly AWESOME?!?!
The verses were cool, the choruses nearly perfect, and the bridge was probably a little taste of the brilliance I hope to see more of! Great Job!
~RagingLive
Thank you so much! Your review really made my day. I agree that an extra syllable in the line "I know I can't take much longer" would sound better in the lyrics, but an extra syllable doesn't fit in the music I wrote for these words, unfortunately.
Again thank you so much, I'll definitely be writing more often from now on, my confidence really got a boost
OK, now I understand. Sorry about that. Not hearing the music can make it a little confusing, but I've written songs myself so I know about the 'how it sounds in your head' kind of a thing.
~RagingLive
I like this, I'd certainly listen to it if it was a song! I'd be interested to know weather it was meant to be sang by a male or female vocalist. I think either version would be quite interesting and different, certainly worth a listen. My favorite line was "Sometimes I feel inclined to leave myself behind" it sounds nice. Plus I do that a lot to myself. I think it's important for a song to be relatable and I think in your case you did a good job of it. I mean everyones been in that situation where you'd give the world to someone who only comes around when they need you. Great job!
Thank you so much! I actually meant to sing it myself, so that would be a female vocalist. I am first of all a singer who happens to love writing. I had no idea my lyrics were any good, so thank you! This boosts my confidence in writing, I'm sure I'll write more from now on!
Please do this was awesome!