It is in the nature of the lies we speak.
Falling into murky liquid pools.
Permanence of the deception at its peak.
Deaf to the silence, which was amended with a creak.
Yet again proven to be true stammering fools.
It is in the nature of the lies we speak.
Hushing them never, breathing poison on her cheek.
Stained by the lover, even for the wicked too cruel.
Permanence of the deception at its peak.
Scandalous it is, when the mind embezzles a peek.
Removing from the eyes the former sheaths of wool.
It is in the nature of the lies we speak.
Emotions are now forceful, no longer a simple leak.
The consequence a colossal, infinite duel.
Permanence of the deception at its peak.
Here stands the transformed, from his one moment weak.
And there the deceived, love is no longer a pull.
It is in the nature of the lies we speak.
Permanence of the deception at its peak.
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140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
When ever I read long poems I tend to get lost, but this one I didn't. I under stood the author and where she was coming from. the things I would change is useing that line
so much. But hey thats just me. I would really enjoy reading another one of this authors poems.Hey Myrcie! June here!
Another wonderful, wonderful poem by you-- good job, this is really beautiful.
To be brief, dear, I'm not so fond of the punctuation. I don't think that you should bring us to that many full-stops in the poem. Perhaps some of those periods can be substituted for commas, dear.
Anyway, moving on.
You did an extremely good job here, dear. Villanelles are extremely tricky to write, and you wrote this well with little-- if any-- flaws. Brilliant.
And! It makes sense. A lot of sense. Often, when people write like this they "lose" the audience at some point. You didn't. Brilliant job with that, dear.
Also, your rhyme scheme never stumbled. It's rather tricky to do that; good, good job.
There's not much to say about this dear, I know this review is rather lame, but I just wanted to let you know that I really ,really enjoyed this.
It was a great read, dear.
June
keep it up! I look forward to seeing more of your poetry!
Whoa. Thank you so much everyone for commenting. I really didn't expect such a response and it means a lot to me.
By the way 200397---the type of poem is a villanelle, the structure requires that you do it a certain(i.e. ending with the last line of the first stanza instead of the first line).
Thanks again, everyone!
Hi Myrcei. Shina here ^^ I have to agree with the others, I really like this poem. You're not an obvious poet, you're more of the one with a mysterious poem. You know, poetry with a hidden meaning. I really liked this and that's all I have to say at the moment.
I like this poem very much. Actually, I think I like all your poems. What I got from reading this was the effects of lies, how we scandalously create them, the emotions they cause, the final piece of deception and how it has changed. And I also read that it is man's nature to lie. But we can choose how to lie.
Er, or something like that.
The only suggestion I would make (and it would alter the quality of your poem no less) would be to end with the line you being. That gives us a sense of continuation, like a circle, how it can go on and on.
But your rhyming and meter were wonderful. Good work.
~Sunny