Myrcei wrote:I never claimed that I was perfect. awesome opening!
In fact, I know that I was the polar opposite.
But you:
Pressured and pressured,
Wanted me to be like all those you envied. while I liked this line, it was a bit confusing, but you don't have to listen to me.
And I could never live up to it. what is "it"? perhaps you could rename "it". your expectations?
So you never thought I was worth it. worth what? their troubles?
Honestly all I wanted was to feel worthy. again, worthy of what? their affections?
I wanted to be wanted.
Not taken out of pity. Love these two lines!!!!
I wanted to be wanted.
Alive or dead as the case may be. this seems a little blunt. maybe change it somehow?
Do you care enough to save me?
Would you look in my eyes? "into" would sound better
And say you hate me
Or follow the others
And say it to the late me this is also a bit confusing. perhaps re-phrase it somehow to make sense to the reader.
What would you do?
Would you want me alive or dead?
Or not at all?
Please don’t cry those fake tears.
All I need is the truth.
Nothing but.
And then I can move on.
Not all dreams become reality.
Happiness isn’t everyone's destiny. perfect stanza!!! LOVE it!
I wanted to be wanted.
Alive or dead as the case may be. again, blunt
Do you care enough to save me?
Would you look in my eyes?
And say you hate me.
Or follow the others
And say it to the late me. ditto above
What would you do?
Would you want me alive or dead?
Or not at all?
Would you want me alive or dead?
Please tell me.
Before this bullet
Is ringing in my head.
I wanted to be wanted another beautiful paragraph
...alive
this was breathtaking. I loved it!
you have wonderful talent, simply amazing. seriously, this is becoming my favorite poem on here.
I don't know how many times I have felt this way, and you expressed it clearly and perfectly.
Gold star!!
XoXo~AsH
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