Serenity

Hey, Myrcei! First, I'll go through and clear up the grammatical and punctuation errors. I'll tell you what I think of the poem at the end.

Myrcei wrote:Only in the darkness can I say what I feel.
Only alone can I see that you are real.
You make feel insignificant,
Like a speck of dust,
Floating away with the wind.
Skelts I try to leave in the closet.
But I can still sense them near;
like an unopened box of cigarettes,
waiting to be burned until there's nothing left.
I'm trying hard to leave it all behind.
But how can I?
When you're a part of me and
you're still living in the shadows of yesterday.

I am attempting to leave it all behind.
If anyone asks I smile and say I'm fine.
But inside I can hear you telling me (No comma here)]
things I don’t want to hear.
"Let it out" ----- "I can't" (What's this about? I don't understand it.)

New line. I'm trying hard to leave it all behind.
But how can I?
When you're still
living in the shadows of yesterday
While I'm searching for a way[s]...[/s]
Out of this dark place . . .
Where everything is a silhouette.
Or a foggy layer of regret. (My favorite part right there.

The shadows creep upon me.
Skelts I hid sneak up on me.
They just won't leave me alone.
I can't say a word until they're gone.
But they won't be gone until I let it all out.
I've run out of choices and I
can hear voices
telling me
I can never leave it all behind

New line. But with time, I can find tranquility
I can never erase
every memory
But with time I can find serenity.

OVERALL: This is a beautiful poem. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but that's half the reason why I like it. The only thing that bothers me is the part when you say,

But inside I can hear you telling me,
things I don’t want to hear.
"Let it out" ----- "I can't"

The "let it out" ----- "I can't" is confusing, and maybe it's the format. I assume these are the things the narrator is being told? This is my rewrite:

But inside I can hear you telling me
Things I don't want to hear:
Let it out.
But I can't.

It's just a guess. But other than those few lines, I really enjoyed your poem.

PM me for any questions.

~Sunny