Tasting the air with my tongue.
I stood right here when I lost someone.
So long ago, but it smells just the same.
Wading through depths while I sung.
Hoping you’d hear I felt afraid and alone.
So wrong I was, supposing you called me by name.
Hanging on lines I was wrung,
Into a tangle of what I’d been through before
So strong I thought, but was convicted and labeled a shame.
Hating the tears, how they stung,
Dying my dress and once again here I stand on my own.
So long ago, but it hurts me the same.
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140,848 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Thank you so much everyone for commenting on my poem!
I don't think you could ever understand how much I appreciate it.
Thank you, thank you, a million times.
Beautifully written, especially the rhyming pattern. Also loved the idea behind it. I don't even have any CC to say (Sorry to disappoint!). I just simply enjoyed reading this!
Great work!
I agree that some punctuation would be helpful to teh flow of the poem. Aslo, try to keep your stanzas the same length or realtively the same if at all possible. I was glad to see that your rhyming did not feel forced as it often can. Those are just my nitpicks. i really enjoyed reading this poem. Nice job!
The poem is written beautifully, but maybe some more punctuation could be used? I think it would make the poem flow a little better, at least in my head.
Additionally, I love the mood the poem portrays.
Sorry if my review wasn't that good; I'm feeling a little drowsy.
hi there...madel here' i love writing poems too
but i am not good with it..by the way
i have read your title and been
intrigued so i decided to read this
after reading my whole face was
like a big question mark and a question
pop out of my head "is this really a poem??
well i dont know if this is another type of a poem
this work really confused me....
anyways... i know you have the talent in writing
and i believe in you,you just have a little problem on how to
construct each lines...good luck...