Young Writers Society

How is that to all my readers and people giving me great cristism

Hey Munozutoo2122!

I love the wording, and I think this story could go really far! I just had three suggestions for you - the first is to maybe go back and read through the story because there are a lot of run-on sentences, like "My names Meadow and this is my story about how at first I didn't know if I should follow my dreams or follow what others dreamed for me, until I meet Hayes a sick boy who changed my world and I actually changed his."

This might be a little bit easier to understand if you said something like this... "My name is Meadow, and this is my story. This is a story about how at first, I didn't know if I should follow my dreams or follow what others dreamed for me. And about how this all changed when I met Hayes, a sick boy who changed my world. And how I changed his."

The second thing that I wanted to mention was that you might want to split this up into multiple paragraphs. Like, at "Now this is a story of how two people...". But this is just a suggestion - it'll be awesome either way!

Thirdly, I agree with Honora that you repeat the part about how you met a lot of times, and finally, I also agree with 4revgreen that the prologue doesn't really make you very excited about the book. I always start my prologues with someone saying something - maybe you could also tell more about the characters - like their last names, or how old they are, or which state or even country they live in.

But this story seems interesting, and I'll definitely be reading it! 😄😆

~Sivershade797

First of all, I'd just like to point out that in the first line you put "other" when i think you meant "others"
There was a lot of long sentences and repetition, which in a prologue really doesn't work. In my opinion, a prologue should be quick and fast paced in order to really catch the readers attention and wants them make to read the rest of the book.
I really do think you should have spaced it out in paragraphed. The structure made it very hard to read and follow what the narrator was saying.
It did sound interesting though, I'd love to read it if you post any more.
Hope this feedback helps

Hey Muno! So I think that a prologue is a great idea but this one seems more like the back of the book than a prologue. I noticed you repeated yourself multiple times about meeting Hayes. A couple of times is fine but you did it a lot. Your sentence structure is always long and it would help if you switched it up a bit. Throw some small sentences in there instead of all of them being lengthy and wordy. Also, you are using "I" instead of she, which is fine, but you keep switching from past to present tense. Usually if you are using "I", it is present tense.
Other than that, it was very good. I liked it because I think it could evolve into an amazing book. Also, don't take anything I say personally...I don't mean to offend but rather to help you out. There's always room for improvement! If you want to get back at me you can go read criticize my work and tell me what you think of it! Keep up the good work!