You know there was a time when I use to think that Sirens and Anti- Sirens were separated for a reason, until I realized that reason was why we lost so many people. I used to think that Anti-Siren’s couldn’t be trusted until I found myself trusting one. There was a time when I didn’t trust any Siren because of my towns history until I found myself falling in love with one. I didn’t think that my enemies where actually my friends, until I found the truth about my enemies. I used to think that you can always trust your loved ones till I found out that those closest to you are the ones you should fear the most. I used to think that heroes where the good guys and that villains were the bad guys until I realized that heroes and villains are just perceived differently to different people. I also used to think that when someone tells you they love you, you shouldn’t be surprised by their want of keeping you closely no matter what until someone showed me that it wasn’t called love but obsession. I used to think that I would find the one until I realized that the one was the one person that they hated but I loved. But the one big factor that was always lied so easily to my face was that I once thought I was human until I found out I was in fact the daughter of an Anti-Siren and Siren, the most powerful sea creature of all. My name is Sirenia Black and this is my story.
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141,385 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
Hey. This is Cate, I am here to review.
I would like to start by saying this was a very great start.
It was very short. I would have loved for it to be longer, I can't wait for more of it.
You keep it up!
Hello, Mira here for a review.
To start off, this is a very good beginning. It gives some information to pique the reader's curiosity but doesn't give away too much.
I found the whole "I used to think" part confusing because it went off in many directions. I feel like separating it into paragraphs would make it easier to read.
The idea of Sirens and Anti-Sirens is interesting, except that most of the readers don't know what Sirens and Anti-Sirens are. Giving more information about them would be nice, but if you plan of giving it/have given it in later chapters, that works too. It's your choice.
Overall though, this works for a very good prologue.
Keep writing,
Miraculor77
P.S.: I like your profile pic. One of my friends from a creative writing class I attended loves that band, so I like them too.
REALLY i LOVE You already. lol
Hi, blackblade here for a review.
I think this is an interesting start—it sets up the background for the story pretty well, and your ideas with the Sirens and Anti-Sirens are interesting.
I think this has content, but I think it would be great if you could also give it color. It seems a little bit like a laundry list right now—I think just splitting up the paragraph would make it easier for readers to digest. Also, t wasn’t really clear what direction each sentence was taking us in. I think making the points, as in what she used to think, have a clearer progression, since you kind of bounce around from relationships, to villains, then love, then obsession, then live again, then parentage—it was a little confusing to follow.
The style is pretty consistent, but the phrase “But the one big factor that was always lied to easily to my face” kind of stuck out because it was a little awkward—maybe find some other description for the lie than “a big factor”?
I think the “I used to think phrase” gives a nice perspective for the prologue. It is more retrospective and gives us information, though it also leaves out enough that we are interested in learning more.
Looking forward to the next chapters! Also, all of these here are just suggestions—if I misunderstood your intention or you don’t like them, please just ignore them.