You,
that I don't like
nor do I recognize,
are stuck with me forever. Why?
You,
that are not pretty and cool
like the other people in school,
are stuck with me forever. Why?
You,
that are not the sharpest knife,
that do not meet the expectations of life,
are stuck with me forever. Why?
The person you hate the most
is not the one that makes you seethe
but the person you see
every morning when you brush your teeth.
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Canary word: Present
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139,434 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
This was awesome, with fantastic ideas and imagery.
With poetry, it's best if you capitalise each line, if for no reason other than it looks better. Trust me, if you just get into the habit while you write it'll just come naturally.
Also, the lines that end with "Why?". The "Why"s would look a lot better and create more impact if they were on a separate line. Just gives some finality to your verses.
So, with my advice it would become this:
The improvements are basically formatting the poem correctly- other than that, great job!
Loved it
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