It’s scarcely seven on a Sunday, sunlight streams in like Summer’s sigil.
Beating batter in a baking bowl, bacon bubbling, not yet brittle.
Maverick mounts my mired muscles, mumbling like a muffled muse.
Little in lifetime, larger than life, losing slumber as all I’m willing to lose.
-
Alone, I’d always avoid alarms, awaken absent of appointment.
Dads don’t decide when duty drums, demands diligence over disappointment.
Fear and the future flash across my frazzled face, I don’t know where from.
Tears trickle a thousand thoughts onto Mav’s tiny, tender thumb.
-
Now I navigate new naps, noises, and nights, never knowing what comes next.
Pancakes and parenthood preach one promise; you can’t possibly prepare what to expect.
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139,205 Literary Works • 672,505 Reviews
Just wanted to say I adore the way you use alliteration in this poem.
I'm obsessed with this line-- really nice work!
Thank you : ) he is a big boi
Hi Messenger!! Ollie here with a review!
I love this poem, it's so short and sweet. The alliteration is a really nice touch and as the other reviewer here said, it doesn't feel forced at all! Also, there's rhyming going on too??? Really impressive!
I can't really think of any nitpicks with this piece. Some of the words are a little archaic, but that's obviously something that comes with the alliteration, so I don't mind it.
I think my favorite line is "Beating batter in a baking bowl, bacon bubbling, not yet brittle." The alliteration is at its best here in my opinion because it flows so naturally and is so descriptive.
I also really love "Little in lifetime, larger than life", it's such a tight and evocative line.
This is a wonderful little poem! Thank you for sharing it and I hope this review has been helpful!
Thank you. Long your profile picture and username
I love this so much!!
Obviously, your use of alliteration is fantastic, and it's natural enough that the first few times I read the poem, I didn't even pick up on it. You managed to make something that would usually sound forced and dismally rhythmic very nice and uplifting to hear. You used your vocabulary very cleverly, so kudos for that!
The message of the poem is nice. About how difficult parenthood is, how much anxiety it gives, but you would do it a hundred times just to hold that little ball of energy and light in your arms and give it all the love in your heart.
"Little in lifetime, larger than life," So cutee
"Dads don’t decide when duty drums, demands diligence over disappointment." Good dad
"Tears trickle a thousand thoughts onto Mav’s tiny, tender thumb."
I can't express how much I love that line. All you can truly give your children is your love, not your thoughts. Their thoughts are their own, and it is absolutely wondrous to be able to hear such innocence and creativity and open-mindedness.
"Pancakes and parenthood preach one promise; you can’t possibly prepare what to expect." This is really great, it's true. Despite pancakes being a very easy food to make, it took me five tries to perfect my recipe.
All in all, this work is beautiful. It tells us about the demands of parenthood and the absolute joy of fulfilling that demand, the luck we have to be a parent to a whole new human. Great work! <333