Castor's Tale Chapter 4 Part 1 - A Card Game To Remember

by Messenger

Published May 22, 2014

In Castor's Tale #2

Kinnard looked over his cards, seeing that he had a two, four, seven, and a baron. That meant that there were three other barons in the pile, or in other players’ hands. He had joined the game after speaking with Susie, seeing if he could not only make some money, but also to smoke out the cheating player.

It was Kinnard’s turn to play. He had two choices: discard a card and either take the top one on the pile of unused cards, or wait for his next turn and take two. There was a measure of risk in either chance, but that is how the game was played. Kinnard smiled, discarding his two and differing to choose two cards next turn.

So the others went, two of them drawing new cards, three of them waiting for their next turn. Kinnard eyed the small amount of coin on the table. It was barely enough to pay for a night’s stay at a well-run inn, but it was better than nothing. The player beside him puffed on a large pipe, and just as Kinnard grabbed his two cards, one of which was a baron, the other a three, the man blew a fresh wave of smoke. Kinnard coughed and covered his mouth with his coat sleeve.

The man beside him seemed to barely notice the fact, and did his turn, drawing two cards. One it came to the man who was no doubt cheating, Kinnard said: “Got an itch on your back?”

The man looked up, slightly startled, and replaced a card, then nodded slowly, reaching back to his shoulder. “As a matter of fact, yes, I do.”

Kinnard gave a slim smile, and then looked at his own cards. In the coughing fit, he had pulled a card from his sleeve as pre-planned. Now he held three barons. He threw several gold coins to the table, forcing the others to match it or drop out. Three of the five did. The smoking man and the cheater stayed, apparently confident in their cards.

“I play,” said Kinnard, spreading out the three barons and the five on the table. The smoking man muttered something inaudible. Then he stood from the table angrily, walking off to get a drink. “Three bloomin’ baron’s he has!”

The cheater looked at Kinnard with a grim face, his lips formed in a tight line. He showed his cards on the table. An eight, and three barons. He must be pretty confident he can get his way out of this one. Kinnard watched silently as the other players responded, first with stunned looked, then their faces contorted into frowns and anger. The smoking man, who had just returned, gasped.

“What the devil is goin’ on? How come there be six barons! What cheatin’ is goin’ on!” He turned to Kinnard, pointing a grubby finger at Kinnard. “It’s you ain’t it?”

Kinnard remained in his seat, but stayed on the edge of it, ready to jump up if needs be. He spoke calmly to the group. “It was me.”

Their mouths gaped in surprise. After all, who would expect a man to admit to cheating, especially when he could more than likely fend for himself in a brawl, judging from his display earlier? The cheater stared at Kinnard, as if trying to read his mind.Kinnard smiled and winked at him.

“Yes, you see I cheated, but only to show you that he cheated.” Kinnard pointed at the man across from him, the cheater. “I saw him do it earlier and thought I’d teach him a short lesson.”

One of the other burly and rough men stood from his seat. “How can we trust you? We’ve been playin’ with him for near an hour, and never was there too many barons.”

Kinnard nodded, folding his hands in his lap. “Yes, and you also will see that except for a few rounds where the wages were very low, he has won everyone.” Kinnard pointed to the man’s sizable stash of money in front of him. It was much larger than any of the other men’s. “See? I had one baron which I switched in my ‘coughing fit’.” He turned to the smoking man who was still puffing away like there was no tomorrow. “Thank you for that distraction by the way. It really helped.”

The man snarled. “So you be sayin’ that he cheated us and you cheated to show us that he’s cheatin’?”

The other men just stared at him, trying to work out what he said. Kinnard nodded and smiled approvingly. “Very keen you are. Now, I propose a solution to this problem. The cheating man gives back all the money he stole from you, but gets back everything he betted, and leave immediately. I take what little I betted and none of you lose any money.”

The cheater’s eyes squinted. “And what if I say I didn’t cheat? You can’t prove it weren’t you that added more barons.”

Kinnard couldn’t resist the grin that spread over his face. “Well, then we can fight it out, one on one.” His eyes sparkled with a fire that obviously shook the man. Although he was bigger, he had seen what Kinnard could do, and was no doubt weighing his options.

Finally he stood abruptly, counted out a fair amount of coins from the pile, glared at Kinnard and left. As he reached the door he turned back. “This isn’t over, stranger!” With that he left, slamming the door so hard that the animal head on the shook visibly. The others looked at Kinnard strangely, trying to figure out what to think of him.

Kinnard quickly took the coins he betted, put them in his money pouch, nodded to the all, and left for his wagon. Although he had no doubt that he could beat them in a fight, he didn’t want to risk being injured. Wouldn’t want to try to climb to Mount Crusto with a bruised up shoulder. He opened the door to the inn and stepped out into the dimming light. The sun was spreading out across the sky directly in front of him. It splashed like a spilled liquid, red and orange and yellow. Kinnard sighed, content to behold such a natural beauty for a few seconds. Mable’s whinny caused his head to turn in the direction of his wagon.

He stepped over to where his horses were grazing on a few tufts of grass. Kinnard stepped over. Mable didn’t usually give a whinny like that, a high-pitched cry, unless there was an unknown or dangerous presence. Kinnard casually took off his coat and threw it on his wagon seat, trying t hear or see anything. He stretched his arms and gave a nonchalant gaze around. He didn’t see anything. But it was possible that someone was hiding inside the wagon or on the other side of it. He climbed the wagon seat, humming softly, talking to Mable.

“I’ll be there to brush your mane in a few minutes Mable, just let me find my brush in here.”

He quickly poked his head in to the wagon. It was dark inside because of the sheet covering the little sunlight left. There were bangs and chests for clothing and food, but no person or creature that Kinnard could see. So the person had to be on the other side of the wagon. Kinnard banged things around, making his way towards the back, pretending to be searching for the horse brush.

“Where is that brush! I had it right here in this bag.”

He slowly glanced out of the back of the wagon. No one was there. He dropped out in a crouch, quickly turning to the last side of the wagon. He stared straight into the blade of a short dagger. A short wiry man who looked to be about twenty stood, dressed in a cut-off jerkin and dirty brown pants. His right arm was covered in blood that had dried and hardened. In the fading light it was a dark purple. It had spilled onto his other articles of clothing and made a long streak down his pants.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
BluesClues
Review
BluesClues wrote a review Review · Jul 9, 2014

Oooooooh, a mysterious stranger covered in blood. Me like.

I have no real notes on plot or character for this chapter. However, I'm not sure what to make of Kinnard yet. I mean...he's a man of religion, kind of out of nowhere, but then he's also up for a fight. And I can understand why a man of religion would want to expose a man who's cheating at cards, but to do it by cheating himself? Risky and also...I don't know...not exactly ironic, but...???

I feel like maybe the "man of religion" thing is just a cover or something, like he's actually a fraud, especially since we know his god is a dragon and that he can actually just go SEE the dragon, which does not exactly require an act of faith in that case.

Or I could be totally wrong and you've got a whole different plan for this, but since I'm still kind of getting creepy vibes of Kinnard, my guess is fraudulant religion or something.

Anyway, just keep that in mind. If that's the vibe you want for Kinnard, then you're golden. If he's actually supposed to be a genuine man of religion and good and everything, then you may want to work on his introduction and these opening scenes with him in them.

But now I'm going to go read the second part of this chapter, so maybe I'll see more of how he is then. And also who the mysterious man is!

Blue

P.S. I don't know if you intended it this way, but that was a nice bit of misdirection with the pipe. Here I thought the smoking guy was going to be the cheater at the cards, and instead Kinnard used him to actually cheat at cards to...catch...the...cheater.

DASH IT ALL.
Image

Still can't remember now can we mummy? and secrets are secrets XD

User avatar
r4p17
Review
r4p17 wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2014

Nice ending! It was very suspenseful though it could have been a tad better if you would have left out the detailed description and added some sort of ominous threat or order. Still you did a pretty good job.

But why didn't Kinnard tell the other players outright that he saw the one man while he was cheating if he was going to do something about it?! It was rather stupid to play a card game with a bunch of people he doesn't know and even more so when he was planning on cheating. In summary if Kinnard was going to do anything about the cheater he should have thought of a better plan than putting himself in danger!

Kinnard also foolishly when he looked into his wagon for a brush instead of being wary for the cheater. And he pretty much ignored his horses' warning. I try not to be too nit picky but I just didn't think some of those thing were explained very well. But keep on writing Mess!

The card game was sort of fun for Kinnard to be honest.
As for him being in the wagon, he DID know that someone was a round. He just tried to search for this someone inconspicuously.

User avatar
Milanimo
Review
Milanimo wrote a review Review · May 25, 2014

Hi!

"seeing that he had a two, four, seven, and a baron." It might sound smoother if you add an "a" before each number.

"One it came to the man who was no doubt cheating, Kinnard said: “Got an itch on your back?”
I'm pretty sure you mean "once" here. No worries, typos always happen.

I have to be honest, I couldn't find any other things to critique! This part was very interesting. One thing, though, I would prefer if there was more tension for who the cheater was. Maybe explain the shifty gaze of each of the players, the suspicion the character holds for each character. Maybe he looks at each of the players individually and denounces them one by one. "It's not him, he's a good guy." It's a terrible example but you get the point.

Anyways, that's all I have. Good job!

User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review Review · May 25, 2014

Hi there! Noelle back again for another Review Day review!

So I already reviewed the last chapter before it was reposted and I didn't want to bore you with a basically the same review. I'm sure that's how it would come out. So I just skipped ahead to part one of this chapter.

One it came to the man who was no doubt cheating,

I do believe you meant 'when' not 'one'.

Ugh, that cliffhanger though! Why?!

Okay, so we've switched back to Kinnard here. I wonder if this is going to be a continual pattern here, Castor then Kinnard, Castor then Kinnard. Just keep in mind as you go along that sometimes it's good to switch it up and stray from the norm. Maybe you'll need to put in a few chapters in a row that are Castor and vice versa. Just something to think about as you go along.

There's quite a lot of description in this chapter which I like. You seem to have found a good balance between description and dialogue. There was dialogue when you needed there to be and description when it was necessary. Nice.

So this novel is really starting to pick up. I do believe that we will get into the main plot real soon. Not that we haven't gotten into the plot yet, because we have, but you know what I mean. Looking forward to the second half of this chapter!

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

why did i never see this review before >_>



I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.
— Holden Caulfield