One fateful day of sunlit skies,
A nearby stranger caught my eyes.
When his chin began to rise,
He met the gaze, to my surprise.
As balmy as a summer breeze
That rushes through the blooming trees,
He whisked me off my feet with ease
And left me flushed, weak at the knees.
From his lips, I drank away
The honeyed words without delay;
They lead me down a lulling way
Of luscious lime, of sweet sorbet.
But as quickly as it does begin,
Such youthful love will always thin.
A soft and fleeting brush of skin,
A biting tang, my summer gin.
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Canary word: Present
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127,111 Literary Works • 672,943 Reviews
Hey Maverick,
Wow, this piece is so amazing!
You immediately transported me to glorious summer days, and captured the addictive, sugary whirlwind of summer romance.
I LOVED this poem, and I can't wait to read more of your work!
Easiest follow ever!
Please keep writing!
-theb00kthi3f
Thanks, and I'm glad you enjoyed!
Hi Maverick,
I've got to say, I really like this piece. I'm not usually a fan of more structured, rhyming poetry, but this works so nicely. The rhymes are so simple that they play up the sweet, uncomplicated nature of the love you're describing. I love the descriptions you've chosen. You use words that evoke the "taste" of the emotions - "honeyed," "lime," and "sorbet" for swept-up love; "biting tang" and "gin" for the bittersweet ending... Taste is one of those things that we understand universally, so it makes for great metaphors.
This such a lovely, simple poem. Even with the bittersweet ending, it makes me happy, and a little nostalgic, to read it. Kudos on your great work!
-floatingvoice
Thanks for the review, you get it perfectly
Okay. This is so incredible. I have almost no words to tell you how beautifully simple yet totally expressive this work is. This: a fine piece of literary function which you've given us. Thanks for this <3
Aww, thank you so much!
Hi!
I'm ILoveBooks123 and I'm here to review your beautiful poem!
What can I say? This is just simply awesome and beautiful and perfect. That's all I can say! The scenes and how the poem is written at the scene of summer. It's like I'm feeling calm and relax when I read the poem! You put up great description of your poem. Impressive!
Okay, I am not great at criticizing and reviewing but I will try. But I have to be honest with you, I can't find anything to criticize. No grammar error and no wrong description. Every thing fits. Wonderful!
My description about this: This is so romantic and i almost swoon while I read each lines of the poem. It so calm and showing happiness! It make me feel enthusiastic! This is one of my personal favorite actually. Because lets be honest for once, these days All the poems is all sad and depressing even my poems are depressing! Because we always focus on angst especially teens nowadays. And i am glad there are some people including you are expressing happiness instead of sadness! I appreciate how you write this!
Okay, Lets go with the rhyming thingy. Everything rhyme and it fit the poem actually! It's like when you are listening to a song it blend! That's how I feel about the rhythm of this! It's going with the flow and it make perfect sense and make it beautiful!
Also with the format of this...Its great. Nothing else to say about that.
You done well actually. You did great. 100%! Keep doing this because seriously bro, you have awesome poetry writing skills. Keep writing!
~ILoveBooks
Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it! However, as with the other reviewer, I'm sorry to say that the ending stanza is more bittersweet than happy, so it is rather teen angst-y haha! Again, I'll have to fix that so it's more apparent, but yeah, thanks again!
Hey Maverick!
Falco here to review your awesome poem!
I admit, I have nothing to criticise here. So, I loved the wonderful description and imagery here. It's the kind of scene I want to draw, and I would be able to draw it well because of the clear image your words create.
Also, your consistent rhyme and rhythm scheme is great! The rhymes work well together, and not all poems have rhymes that work that well. Well done!
Again, this is all good things, as I see nothing to change with your poem. Hope to read more from you soon!
-Falco
Thank you for your review and kind words
Okay, so honestly this poem is really bubbly and and it made me happy. They way this poem swayed along as I read gave me an upbeat and happy feeling inside if me... Wierd I know, but just go with it lol.
So, nowadays poems are becoming really depressing and sad. Not that these poems are a bad thing, they just sorta reflect the darker side of the world. This one shows optimism and a different side of poetry that is becoming harder and harder to find.
Also, it rhymes! When I try to write a poem that rhymes it doesn't always end well. I always end up googling words that rhyme with whatever word I'm stuck on. You have found a way to make this poem rhyme so beautifully and flow together so nicely! It's almost as if it's too good to be true... Haha.
The format of this poem is also exceptional. Usually web I review poetry I often find poems that are disorientenes from length of lines, weird italisizinf and bolding, and other things as well. But, I can honestly say that your formatting is near perfection!!
I literally would have I think about an hour to come up with a negative comment. This poem is one of the best ones I have seen in awhile! You have an insane gift!!! Keep using it!
Keep writing bro.
~#41
Thanks for the review!! However, I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but the last stanza was supposed to convey the passing of this summer love
So I guess this is another one of those bittersweet poems haha. Guess I'll have to fix that so it's more apparent!
Oh wow! I really love this poem! CaptainSalty here with a review!
I love this poem! It's romantically tragic, if that makes sense. I remember your unconventionaL poem got in the spotlight for a long time, so I took that in mind to review this.
So, let's start to get to the review. Honestly, there isn't a lot of things bad I can say. It's very short and to the point and it makes it so simple. It's also very lovely. Also, probably my favorite part about the poem is the AAAA rhyme scheme. It's so simple, but it seems very difficult to accomplish. Great job with that. I really love this poem! I do want to see more of your work. Don't give up and always write, Maverick!
-CaptainSalty
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it ^_^