NOTE: If you really like this 'book' as you may call it and want to keep up with it, you should check this other website missliterati. I really like youngwriters better but because you need points to post, it takes me longer to post here so I'm 100% updated on missliterati, so here's the link if you want to try to figure it out.
http://www.missliterati.com/stories/planet-of-malonians-513a85ad15634c353802dd13
“The first task each 16 year old earthling must defiantly know is how to drive a car.” Warzle paced back and forth the front of the room holding his hands behind his back. Eight strong Malonian men pushed giant machines into the room. They screached loudly across the floor and I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what they were doing. “Eyes up here please!” Warzle cried above the commotion.
“Those are simulators that will teach you to drive, but before you can learn to drive a car, you must know what a car even looks like.” He pulled up a giant hologram in the front of the room and a video began to play, “Streamed directly from Earth young Malonians, the car. Of course, many are brown and rusty, this one is very fancy.”
Warzle stepped away and let us watch the two minute video. Large pieces of equipment raced back and forth on the screen, the car had four wheels and two doors on each side. I could barely see inside the speedy red car, but from what I could make out, there were hard plastic looking seats with wheels inside. The video stopped abruptly and Warzle led the group over to the eight simulators and assigned each of us to one of them, calling us by our Earthling names.
For the next hour, I worked looking on the little screen trying to stay inside the lines that separated the road into to and steered with the wheel. I learned rather quickly as Malonians do, how to maintain a speed and when to turn.
“Children, I must grant you with your driver’s license now.” Warzle approached each of us and handed us our very own plastic rectangle. Again there was my name and birth date along with a picture of me with white skin. “Driving is very different from this stimulator but at least you’ve got a good start. When you obtain your car on Earth, begin driving on quiet roads, you will adapt quickly.”
The evening passed quickly and there was no time to miss Riverio or my friends or mother. Instead I socialized with my new friends that would head to Earth with me. Warzle taught us about the food of Earth in between breaks.
“On Earth, humans eat approximately three times a day. Eat whatever you wish in your own home, but in public, I would suggest eating what your neighbor is eating. Humans also drink.” There was a hush among the children as we questioned what the art of ‘drinking’ was. “Shush children!” The room became silent again, “The act of drinking, well, it’s hard to explain. I’ll just show you. The scientists here on Malonia have studied drinking and discovered it does no harm to our bodies, it’s just unnecessary.” He lifted a bowl that was much taller than a normal bowl and was clear. “People usually drink a clear substance called water, but since Malonia doesn’t have water, we don’t have access to it.” He inched the bowl closer to his face and let the substance inside drip into his mouth. He then swallowed. “Drinking is a strange act, but you’ll get used to it, but you should know, if anyone actually says, let’s go get a drink, it probably means you’re going to a bar. And if you drink too much alcohol or beer at a bar, your brain will shut down.”
We all starred at each other in horror and wondered why the Humans would do this sort of thing.
“That’s it for tonight, no Malonians have ever been to Earth so there are things we do not know about Humans. That is partially why you eight children are being sent there, to find out ways of the Earthlings and report them. Handle all situations responsibly and maturely. If the people find you are not from their planet, they will kill you. We will come for you in a set number of years if you do not die. Tomorrow shall be clinic day, please follow your scientist to your rooms now.”
Chapter 5 - Clinic Day
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=100253
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This might not be the best idea about not drinking at all.
It was six or seven in the other chapters not 8.
Now i think you are very wrong that humans would kill aliens they would probably want to study them but no kill them.
It is very unusual but interesting maybe you could have made a few mistakes but we all do and i am sure that i have in this review.
In the mane time keep writing and good luck.
This is amazing. I like the names and how you've set up the characters. Its purely a creative piece. I enjoy reading it. Its a bit similar to hunger game
When you said - "if you drink too much alcohol or beer" - I suggest you only put alcohol, because beer is still an alcohol right? also you should consider using punctuations in some places - " - Malonians have ever been to Earth so there are things - " I suggest you use a comma after 'Earth".