Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
I really enjoyed reading this poem! The way you described a parental relationship through this sort of fairytale-esque situation was nicely done. Regardless of whether she was a witch or a queen, she certainly was toxic in many senses. I liked how you chose to refer to her pretty consistently throughout the poem as a "witch;" it definitely condemned her behavior from the get-go, and then the queen aspect of it served to show how she believed herself to be a more benign force of control than she really was.
One thing I enjoyed was the tone you took with this piece. I think you maintained this really nice narrator presence throughout, making it feel quite like some parable or fairytale. I think this nearly prose-like quality came through especially in the dialogue between the witch and her son. Your word choices also helped develop a great tone as well.
The one thing I would say is that I couldn't quite get the flow of the poem down; generally, rhyme schemes lend themselves to a certain flow really well, and all the lines fall into place after that with the same sort of rhythm. I think it has something to do with your syllabic inconsistencies and overall patterns of stressed and unstressed syllables. I did enjoy the rhymes at the end of each line, but I felt they could be accentuated even more if there was a rhythm to go along with it.
Specifics
There’s a witch that lives in a castle.
She fancies herself its queen.
Only she knows if she ever truly was.
She sits atop the throne
in an empty hall
and bemoans the one good son
who cared for her at all.
Just wanted to say how much I adored the rehashed first two stanzas at the end. I'm a sucker for patterns in poetry and this took the cake! It was circular and illustrated the lesson in this poem very well, and it was just... such a good ending.
Overall: nice work!! I think this poem is a great exploration of entitled parents through a more simple situation. I enjoyed reading it very much, and I hope to read more of your poetry soon! Until next time!!
Points: 81482
Reviews: 672
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