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credit card applications as a metaphor

by Mageheart

my credit card application taunts me.

there’s a one year bonus,
the student card
promises in honeyed tones.

but what if i’m not a student
in twelve months?
what if my expected
graduation date of may 2023
is my death date, too?
what if i run away from academia,
throw away my cap and gown,
and live on the edges of society?

will i still get my bonus then?

what if i get my golden job?
a job in a classroom,
a job in a lab,
a job writing and writing and writing
and then i find out that my dream
was actually a nightmare?
that i want nothing more
than to return to academia’s
warm and golden clutches?

would that student card in my wallet
taunt me then?

and how can i promise
that 6,000 dollars is really
my annual income, honest!
when i know i’ll be throwing away
my jobs, my life
when spring comes
to teach in a classroom
that i may not even like?

will my credit card be shackles then,
showing the world that i’m
only just a child playing adult?

if i struggle to pay with money
i no longer have,
will my card remind me
of my missing independence?

the application deals
one final blow
when it decides that
we are unable to approve
your application at this time

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467 Reviews

Points: 179
Reviews: 467

Sun Oct 16, 2022 7:23 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

The real world looms and taunts us once we are thrown into the open. Credit cards, like life, promises many things for us, but can we obtain those things? Are they even reachable? Or are we all forever in doom?

If we get by in life, in some way, things will be a tad better than they were.

I like how this was written. You can almost hear the speaker in the poem.

I wish you a lovely day/night.

Random avatar

Points: 13
Reviews: 10

Sun Oct 02, 2022 11:56 pm
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bnnina wrote a review...

Hi Mageheart!

I'm definitely not skilled at reviews, but I shall attempt lol.

First off, I really like your idea using a credit card as a metaphor in your poem. I feel like you really painted a very vivid, and realistic image of life as a young adult. I think this is quite a problem with our society how we expect people to know exactly what they want to do as soon as they graduate high school, and then put so much pressure on them to immediately jump into something regardless of whether it is actually what they want. As you show this uncertainty

"but what if i’m not a student
in twelve months?....
what if i get my golden job?"

Students then literally become 'shackled' to their credit cards, with ever increasing debt.

I really like the line

"will my credit card be shackles then,
showing the world that i’m
only just a child playing adult?"

How many students are actually prepared for life? High school teaches academics, but it doesn't prepare anyone for actual life setting students up for debt and 'missing independence'.

My favorite part is probable how you ended the poem

"the application deals
one final blow
when it decides that
we are unable to approve
your application at this time."

This really ties the story together, and strengthens the pathos in the poem. It also illustrates the harsh reality by showing through the metaphor of a credit card instead of just stating it.

Overall, I think this is a great poem. I really like the message, and the theme.

Great job!

Mageheart says...

Thank you for your review! This poem was actually inspired by my senior year in college, but I'm glad this also resonates with high school students, too.

Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.
— Ellen DeGeneres

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